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  1. WhitewaterWoman

    Growing up with emotionally unstable parents

    I would say I recognize many of these scenarios. It's a great tragedy so many lives were damaged by parents unable to parent. That said, my son has defined himself by the mistakes I made parenting him. The generations of abuse follow one after another, and at least in some cases, unintentionally.
  2. WhitewaterWoman

    Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics

    He said he considered it his responsibility to take me down a peg. I don’t understand why or how we get seriously into relationships in which the above is a statement we not only tolerate, we begin to believe in. Been there, done that, more times than I can count.
  3. WhitewaterWoman

    A Tin of Treasures

    I wish I had experienced this thread years and years ago. I had no idea that my collections of mementos was and okay thing to do. I was embarrassed about keeping old stuff around. I'd tell myself, why are you keeping all this stuff? It has no use. I still have lots of stuff. But I regret...
  4. WhitewaterWoman

    Hello

    Welcome. We have lots of tree frogs where I live. They can create quite a din.
  5. WhitewaterWoman

    3 Years Sober

    Congratulations. I am also proud of you. It isn't easy to sustain release from an addiction. I'm also impressed by your self-knowledge and ability to articulate what you see about yourself and what you can do about it. Good for you! I struggle to articulate my experiences. Several of your...
  6. WhitewaterWoman

    Looking for help

    Welcome. It sounds like you'll fit right in. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your relationship. Relationships are tricky at the best of times and for us it takes quite a bit of learning and adjusting. But it can be done.
  7. WhitewaterWoman

    Reeling from a break-up with a man with ASD, undiagnosed

    Because he has no need to work on it. He doesn't want that level of connection with you. He wants to be alone, or in relationships in which he is comfortable because he knows them so well. Who's to say he isn't going to cut off the ex in a few months? This kind of push/pull is common I think...
  8. WhitewaterWoman

    Altruism

    I believe it was Dawkins who hypothesized that altruism is selected for, at least in herd or social animals, because the sacrifice of the altruistic individual results in a certain percentage of its genes surviving in the rest of the group. But I don't know if that was ever followed up on, been...
  9. WhitewaterWoman

    Post something Weird or Random

    It's not the photo that's weird... But, this orchid smells exactly like grape bubble gum!
  10. WhitewaterWoman

    Happy Birthday, tree!

    The best of birthdays, tree. Happy Birthday!
  11. WhitewaterWoman

    Reeling from a break-up with a man with ASD, undiagnosed

    This resonated with me as I have often had outside-the-box type relationships in many different shapes. I never understood why others did not see these possibilities until now, after several years of learning about my own autism.
  12. WhitewaterWoman

    Thank you! - relationship status

    So glad to hear of your successes and courage.
  13. WhitewaterWoman

    Small change, big impact.

    In general, I do better when planning a trip. Tasmania and New Zealand sounds great. I once thought I’d like to live in NZ. I hope you keep posting progress on your plans.
  14. WhitewaterWoman

    Heya, I'm Kiwi!

    Welcome.
  15. WhitewaterWoman

    Hello!

    Welcome!
  16. WhitewaterWoman

    Constantly Making Mistakes

    Here is one toolbox trick for getting out of the roiling discomfort you describe. (I’ve been there, too.) One exercise is to say to yourself over and over, a million times over Here and Now, Here and Now, etc.etc. You shout it as loud as you can (internally, if necessary) until it drowns out...
  17. WhitewaterWoman

    Quick question

    I think you have nailed my experience, especially as a young person. I bet I could still be taken in by that, were I to give anyone a chance.
  18. WhitewaterWoman

    I don’t want to contact with former colleagues

    There is no good reason to keep in contact with people from a former job - unless that person can write you a good reference for the next job. It would have to be someone who did think your work was valuable. In my experience, people who are “friends” at work disappear when the work context...
  19. WhitewaterWoman

    Hello everyone

    Welcome.
  20. WhitewaterWoman

    Twitter to Mastodon

    And I just invested in all those goat skins…
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