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  1. paloftoon

    Boundary Issues

    Executive functioning is hard for most of us. You will probably have to screw up much like I had, but always try to learn from your mistakes each time. Talk with trusted soul(s) willing to listen to your situations in-depth including a good therapist. You will pick up eventually. I was in...
  2. paloftoon

    I'm petrified to even try online dating.

    Tony, since you said being rejected bothers you, then I would avoid online dating in your shows. Rejection is part of life, but you can see it more instantly online. You have to be okay with rejection. Heck, i get frustrated, but I don't limit myself to online only. I keep myself too busy...
  3. paloftoon

    too weird/autistic for love?

    Well, as they say, it's a numbers game. So, maybe you do need to date "everyone." However, it's not about finding someone like you, it's about finding someone imperfect who you and the other person can accept each others' imperfections and interests.
  4. paloftoon

    I’m nervous about a date scheduled for Sunday

    Don't mention your diagnosis until the 3rd date or later, and go by context. Just try to have fun, especially at the beginning, and try to give and accept compliments. Stay as positive as possible, but be realistic if it comes up in context too.
  5. paloftoon

    Wish I could find a girl to even hang out with me

    Granted, I had trust issues because that is how I was brought up. I learned from talking with other people and experiencing all kinds of things until I could figure out on my own a healthy balance. Being okay with a balance of planning and going with the flow, reasonably high expectations, and...
  6. paloftoon

    Still single

    You can't control other people, but you can control yourself. If you can't find a space that works for you, you need to get creative and try to create your own space. Something that makes you happy and productive. People will see and feel that and that can become attractive.
  7. paloftoon

    Wish I could find a girl to even hang out with me

    Many people might say they are sick when they really aren't or they might be but it might be an easy pass for them because when they do get better, they are still not interested. I don't sense your approach is incorrect. I think other people you engage with might be able to sense or they...
  8. paloftoon

    Still single

    @Markness, meeting a gal doesn't have to be something outdoorsy, but it is good to get involved. Plus, people can sense depression and negativity sometimes. I think I had some elements that scared some people away and I know in a few cases, people even told me that these kind of things turned...
  9. paloftoon

    Still single

    I really had to think about this one, but in your situation Markness, I think I agree with Tony. I wasn't crazy about college, but I didn't hate it to the point that I didn't want to get that piece of paper. While I struggled socially with people I interacted on all kinds of level, I knew that...
  10. paloftoon

    Still single

    Not everyone likes to smoke cigarettes or weed including me. Cigarettes are just plan disgusting. Weed has medical benefits but some people over rely on it in a way that is addictive and unhealthy. They use weed so casually and don't try to take precautions to use it properly. The smell of...
  11. paloftoon

    Still single

    If you're the majority race or look like you could be, you will generally get more hits of interest because people in the world generally enjoy this complexion more overall, You being a straight person, you do have more options, but you do have more competition too. There are so many people...
  12. paloftoon

    ASD residency

    A lawyer and having money can help be able to provide of such opportunities. Otherwise, look into composing legislation that could help gather gvnt. funding for this purpose to be served more properly. A professional could argue that they have to be so much work to help that person integrate...
  13. paloftoon

    Still single

    People can sense if you aren't independent enough or if you might go too slow for them. Women can be tricky because they like more detail but they still might say "no" anyway. Work on things under your control to maximize your chances.
  14. paloftoon

    How to say no to people / fellow people-pleasers

    Being under the purse strings of your family does make things difficult and you can't just leave. Those relationships and that safety net is too important for you. I suggest to keep applying for jobs to get out asap and also look for something to volunteer at to get some experience in the mean...
  15. paloftoon

    I need help and advice.

    Your continual effort is what counts. I think whatever you are able to do with him, he might notice inside but not be able to express himself at this point. Since we can't actually "see" his reactions, all we can do is try. I think your father would want you to keep yourself at maximum...
  16. paloftoon

    Valentine’s Day speed dating event in my area

    Did you get your money back at least?
  17. paloftoon

    Another knife in my heart

    The idea that she was distancing herself from you every time you tried to get close to her physically numerous times, you should just keep things platonic at most. If you want to get back with her but platonically only, ask her this directly and if she says any answer that isn't yes, then you...
  18. paloftoon

    weird potential date match

    I just noticed today that when looking over the profile of the guy who matched me on another app, I noticed I reached out to him on this app we're still both on and he didn't respond to "hi". So, why did he match me on the other app and then even respond? It's like there is faint interest, but...
  19. paloftoon

    weird potential date match

    I actually love apps as an option, because some profiles are detailed and I can learn and remember things about so and so. That being said, I use apps and social media as tools to maintain positive social, dating, and professional boundaries and I try to do things with people in-person. I...
  20. paloftoon

    weird potential date match

    There was a guy who seemed attracted to me many years ago, but then he kept doubting himself and he said that he didn't make a lot of money and was barely scraping by. He didn't seem truly interested in me by saying that and I don't remember who unmatched who, but it didn't work out. Years...
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