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Rudy Simone
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Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome Paperback – June 15, 2010

by Rudy Simone (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,474 ratings
See all formats and editions
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*Gold Medal Winner in the Sexuality / Relationships Category of the 2011 IPPY Awards*

* Honorary Mention in the 2010 BOTYA Awards Women's Issues Category *

Girls with Asperger's Syndrome are less frequently diagnosed than boys, and even once symptoms have been recognised, help is often not readily available. The image of coping well presented by AS females of any age can often mask difficulties, deficits, challenges, and loneliness.

This is a must-have handbook written by an Aspergirl for Aspergirls, young and old. Rudy Simone guides you through every aspect of both personal and professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt, and savant skills, to friendships, romance and marriage. Employment, career, rituals and routines are also covered, along with depression, meltdowns and being misunderstood. Including the reflections of over thirty-five women diagnosed as on the spectrum, as well as some partners and parents, Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories, anecdotes, and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception, rejecting negative views of Aspergirls and empowering them to lead happy and fulfilled lives.

This book will be essential reading for females of any age diagnosed with AS, and those who think they might be on the spectrum. It will also be of interest to partners and loved ones of Aspergirls, and anybody interested either professionally or academically in Asperger's Syndrome.

Previous page
  1. Print length
    240 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Jessica Kingsley Publishers Ltd
  4. Publication date
    June 15, 2010
  5. Dimensions
    6 x 0.55 x 9 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1849058261
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1849058261
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Ruby Simone's approach is hands-on, and her writing style is easy to read. The chapters are short and give good tips to woman and girls with AS and the people closest to them. I don't know that I believe all the holistic stuff, but I think this book should be required reading for woman and girls who have been diagnosed with AS. -- A Girl Walks into a Bookstore Blog

Every chapter deals with the everyday things that occur in life, explaining how you could feel when you're in love, when you fancy someone, to what you do and should do when going on a date. Sexual relationships and sexual activity are clearly explained, as are how they are affected by sensory issues and whether sex is painful and annoying -- Asperger United

It is interesting the way temper meltdowns are described very accurately and are written just as I experience them, including crying, frustration, shouting, yelling, being sarcastic, becoming vicious, feeling faint or dizzy and that temper meltdowns often happen when we are hungry. -- Asperger United

This is a very readable and enlightening book for all Aspergrirls, their family, friends and involved others... This thoughtful account enthuses the reader and builds their understanding of the specific needs of Aspergirls; a highly recommended book. -- Youth in Mind

In the accessible and relevant 'Aspergirls', Rudy Simone takes the reader through the stages of life from childhood to old age, looking at issues such as the Aspergirl's 'meltdowns', 'stims' (self-stimulatory behaviour), literal thinking, socialising and sexuality. It is written in a touching, often humorous and very practical style, effectively providing a life manual for females with Asperger Syndrome. The anecdotes from Aspergirls she has interviewed broaden the reader's insight into what is must be like to live with this syndrome. -- Speech & Language Therapy in Practice

In a lovely style, Rudy Simone covers every aspect of personal and professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt and savant skills to friendships, romance and marriage...Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories, anecdotes and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception and empowers Aspergirls to lead happy and fulfilled lives. -- Human Givens Journal

I can highly recommend this book to all Aspergirls and their parents, family, partners and professionals, as well as to all members of our community. With humour, love, liking and respect Rudy opens our eyes to the World of the Aspergirl, providing powerful insights on love, learning, sex, career, marriage, having children, friendships, puberty, diagnosis, emotions, health, aging and more...For too many years we have missed Aspergirls due to our current understanding of Asperger's syndrome being largely based on a male presentation. Rudy generously provides, through deep personal insight and her interviews with other Aspergirls, a broader definition and understanding, one that will help bridge the gap between Aspergirls and the non-spectrum population. -- Dr Michelle Garnett MPsych(Clin) PhD MAPS MCCP, Clinic Director and Clinical Psychologist, Minds & Hearts: A Specialist Clinic for Asperger's Syndrome and Autism

Rudy's book helps girls with AS to realize that they are not alone and lets them know that there are others who feel like thy do. But Rudy also does a thoughtful job of illustrating that not all girls with AS are the same. They have both talents and deficits and vary based on intelligence, level of imagination, and obsessions, just to name a few areas. -- Help! SOS for Parents

Many people, doctors and counsellors included, see AS (Autism Spectrum) as predominately affecting men. The Aspergirls is more often than not overlooked or diagnosed later in life. Rudy's book helps girls with AS to realize that they are not alone and lets them know that there are others who feel like they do. But Rudy also does a thoughtful job of illustrating that not all girls with AS are the same. They have both talents and deficits and vary based on intelligence, level of imagination, and obsessions, just to name a few areas.' - Help! S-O-S for Parents

'Specialists' books are all very well, but what people really, really need are the 'case histories' told from the inside. And so far this is the best I've seen. Aspergirls is a mix between Rudy's own experience and that of other Aspergirls, as well as pure advice, both to other Aspies as well as to Neurotypicals.

-- Bookwich blog

This book is a tremendous resource for Aspergirls, their parents, family, friends and professionals. Based on Ms. Simone's personal insight as well as her interviews of over 35 women on the spectrum, this book will serve as an inclusive reference manual. Each chapter is packed with information on sensory overload, guilt, dating, higher learning and career, medication, meltdowns and stomach issues to name only a few. At the end of each chapter are sections containing very practical suggestions for Aspergirls, and their parents for handling the multitude of issues that can accompany Asperger's syndrome. She also encourages Aspergirls to celebrate and cherish who they are and puts to rest some common myths about girls on the spectrum. She encourages us with statements such as, "Life is about making a contribution, not about being popular and fitting in." Ms. Simone is very candid and open about her own struggles and with bullying experiences. She also discusses the difficulties in identifying women on the spectrum. This book will serve as an excellent reference for the Aspergirl and those who love/work with her. -- Bonnie Kimpling-Kelly, teacher and behavior analyst

This book is an easy to read, sensitive and funny at times while presenting some serious matters to consider. The concerns are focused on the individual but inclusive of the parents, educator and the community surrounding them. Whether you are a parent of a child with Asperger Syndrome or know someone who is, this is a must read as it will not only provide the reader with a good insight and look into the lives of girls with Asperger Syndrome, but also make you laugh as you develop more compassion aside faith. -- Oren Shtayermman, Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders

Book Description

Award winning handbook for girls and women on the autism spectrum, perceptive and wise reflections and advice

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Jessica Kingsley Publishers Ltd; 1st edition (June 15, 2010)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1849058261
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1849058261
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.6 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.55 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,474 ratings

About the author

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Rudy Simone

Rudy Simone

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Rudy Simone, now known as Artemisia Xene, is the author of 6 best-selling books on Asperger Syndrome as well as fiction books.

As Artemisia: "Sex and the Single Aspie" (JKP 2018) - a candid and honest look at Aspergirl sexuality written as memoir.

As Rudy Simone: "Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome" (JKP 2010), "Asperger's on the Job: Must-have Advice" (Future Horizons 2010) "22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man With Asperger Syndrome" (JKP 2009) "22 Things a Woman with Aspergers Wants her Partner to Know" (JKP 2012) and "Aunt Aspie's Guide to Life" (JKP 2016). Three of her books have won awards, including the Independent Publishers Gold medal(Ippy), Foreword Review Gold medal and a Living Now Silver medal. Her books have been translated into eleven other languages. She has also written an epic fantasy novel "Orsath" (Kindle).

As ARtemisia Xene: "Orsath", an epic fantasy (orignally The Fool Series), being released Dec. 2018 on Amazon exclusively, both paperback and kindle.

Artemisia has lectured at Autism/Asperger conferences around the world. Her website www.help4aspergers.com is the #1 resource in the world to find information on general Asperger traits, and on how AS manifests in females.

Artemisia Xene is also an award-winning singer/songwriter. Her albums "Thief of Dreams" "Gothic Blues" and "Penny Dreadful" were released as Rudy Simone and are readily available on Itunes or for free on soundcloud (station: ArtemisiaX). A 4th album is coming. You can watch videos on her youtube channel rudytutti, and support all her work and get personal rewards on her Patreon page (TheArtemisia)

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
1,474 global ratings
Supernaturalist nonsense
2 Stars
Supernaturalist nonsense
I believe your tolerance for this book can be easily tested on what you think of the quote above. Lest you think that she's talking about something other than the supernatural, she then follows up with what she considers psychic premonitions she had and suggests that autistic women and girls have social impairment due to their ability to read the thoughts of another paired with a contradiction between their thoughts and words.The explanation for social impairment in men and boys, who she suggests are not psychically sensitivity, is not offered.To my mind, this insistence on the supernatural is only one problem. Less examined but no less pervasive is a worldview of immutable highly binary gendered traits. Too often, where she ought to say "women and girls tend toward," she makes a blanket, encompassing statement. Further, women are exclusively attracted to men as romantic partners, with no acknowledgement that this is not always the case.A further issue is her tendency to paint her own subjective experiences as universal. There's little examination of the bias, and it can lead her to give advice to parents that are, to varied degrees, harmless to highly questionable.These problems run throughout the text, making it of dubious usefulness. Sadly, I can not recommend this. There are genuine insights sprinkled throughout, but it shouldn't be the reader's responsibility to work out what is helpful from what is ill advised.
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Top reviews from the United States

Autie Angel
5.0 out of 5 stars Definitely felt empowered after reading.
Reviewed in the United States on May 5, 2017
Verified Purchase
I am 35. I was self diagnosed until recently (with doctors) and this book helped me on my way to understand my adult autism discovery and quest for diagnosis. I was lucky and had a friend talk to me about her diagnosis and we discovered that I have so much in common with her. She suggested I get this book and I am so grateful I did. I can see how if people were looking for a "how to deal with autism guide" this might not have all the information desired. For me, new to learning about female autism, it was perfect. I was able to see my traits in this book and many things in the book were like reading snippets from my own life. It was so beneficial for me to feel less alone in my symptoms, which until now, I had no idea was Asperger's. I also have sensory processing (disorder). I dislike that it is called a disorder and personally refer to it as my spidey senses. It can be hard for a lot of autistics and even non-autistics to agree on a full symptom list I think, because the spectrum is so varied and diverse and I have seen some reviews saying this book did not relate to their experience with autism, but for me it was spot on. It gave me a far deeper understanding of not only my present but my past. I also got to understand my Mother better who I know now is on the spectrum as well. It you are a female seeking diagnosis I highly recommend reading this and Samantha Craft's work. Keep reading and keep discovering and you will find the tools to better understand where you or someone you know fit on the spectrum. There are helpful recommendations at the end of each chapter, but as I said, if you are looking for a more in depth how to, you might need an additional book. If you are looking for understanding and want to feel less along this book really helped me there. Discovering you are autistic later in life can be so much to handle. Don't hesitate to self advocate and reach out to those that can hold space for this intense discovery. There is a lot of excitement in understanding, but there can also be a lot of grief. Just keep learning more and you can figure it all out. The grief will pass. Autism doesn't mean we are broken. It means we are different, special, and unique, and that is so exciting!
20 people found this helpful
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Goose
5.0 out of 5 stars so good
Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2019
Verified Purchase
best book ever!!! i read the whole thing in one sitting. I haven't done that with a book in several years. I don't even read very often anymore, but I could not put this book down. I am a self-diagnosed aspie (going in for professional diagnosis tomorrow, actually). I want to give this book to anyone who wants to understand me. Especially my mom.

Rudy writes in a way that is very relatable and easy to read--conversational style--but then she slips in very profound truths in such a subtle way that you don't even realize how deep it was until a couple sentences later and you have to go back and read it again to let it sink in.

I laughed and I cried and I felt suddenly not at all alone in the world!

I especially love how she gives advice at the end of each chapter. She really encourages you to focus on your strengths and work with your deficits and I love that. She offers somber understanding of ASD while gently showing you the positive direction you can take with it.

I ordered another book too and it was not nearly as good. THIS IS THE BEST BOOK! for both people with Asperger's and their loved ones who wish to understand them better.

I want to be friends with Rudy in real life. She's my hero.
6 people found this helpful
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Rebecca G
4.0 out of 5 stars I felt so seen and understood by this author
Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2023
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I’m an adult woman who was recently diagnosed ASD-level 1, and I really enjoyed this book.

While I didn’t relate to every symptom discussed (for example, I don’t struggle with mutism), most of the topics were relevant to understanding my own ASD profile

This book helped to increase my understanding of how Aspergirls’ minds work in many different areas.

I found the author’s writing easy to follow and I think it's fair to say this book is empowering for women with level 1 autism spectrum disorder.

Glad I followed the advice to check this book out.
One person found this helpful
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Donna R.
5.0 out of 5 stars Would give this 10 stars if I could
Reviewed in the United States on October 13, 2022
Verified Purchase
I'm so thankful that people like the author are willing to take the time to share their experiences with the rest of us. Although we had learned a lot about Asperger's with a male member of our family years ago, and knew that females could go undiagnosed, we had missed some of the markers with our 17yo daughter. I read this book in one sitting, underlining so many passages that were ah-ha moments, and explained so much. I especially love at the beginning she encouraged pursuing things even without a formal diagnosis. We had recently had our daughter tested, and was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, which was no surprise. But she had a deep depression about 3 years ago and his constantly been trying to battle out of it. There was always this underlying fog of why don't I fit in. After I read it, I had her read it and it's almost like a new confidence has come because she now has understanding.
13 people found this helpful
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Orange Monkey
5.0 out of 5 stars THAT'S what's wrong (and right!) about me!
Reviewed in the United States on January 5, 2024
Verified Purchase
Never ever have I felt so validated.
Never ever have I felt like finally there were people - aliens - like me.
People who felt like me. Thought like me. Liked to do the same things as I like to do.
All of my problems and all of my greatness was here, totally out in the open.

Aspergirls: We're different. And that's all there is to it. It'll make people feel insecure around you, instinctively not feel like they get you and thus not like you. You however, have a great well of 'differentness' that you can pour out into the world IF YOU JUST LEARN TO NOT GET RUINED BY SOCIAL DISAPPROVAL, the kind of disapproval that simply only comes from being different.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Niki
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!
Reviewed in Canada on January 29, 2023
Verified Purchase
This book pretty much described my life. Recently diagnosed in my late 30s and it’s both sad and upsetting that this wasn’t picked up earlier. Great read for anyone wanting to understand how being ASD has affected them in the past and how it does now.
Also, I don’t understand the negative reviews about this book. Not every book is going to speak about queer/LGBTQ issues and that’s ok. There are several heteronormative people who believe in traditional gender roles (like myself) who need books like this, and have had a hard time finding them. I am very thankful for a book that speaks to my experience. Doesn’t justify leaving a 2 star review just because they didn’t speak to a persons sexuality/preference.
4 people found this helpful
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Dr. Barbara Stühlmeyer
5.0 out of 5 stars brilliant and thoughtful
Reviewed in Germany on February 16, 2023
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Writing from the inside perspective Simone attracts reader with her well organized and entertaining style. Every Asperger’s, parent and partner should read this book!
One person found this helpful
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dudù
5.0 out of 5 stars Consigliato
Reviewed in Italy on February 16, 2023
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Consigliato
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myrte
2.0 out of 5 stars Survives because there are few books on the subject
Reviewed in the Netherlands on August 28, 2022
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This book is okay if you want to know what 1 person feels. Sure she’s interviewed women with AS but you really miss a neutral point of view. The author contradicts herself on a lot of things and as a reader I start wondering how she interviewed them. Some interviewees are self diagnosed. This of course might be accurate but doesn’t make for a reliable point of view to depend on as a reader. Some interviewees also suffer from other things related to terrible personal trauma which is so personal that you can’t ascribe behaviour to AS alone.
The author lost me at saying she predicted 9/11 and the tsunami. And also at when she advised parents to explain your period as”your uterus fills with blood for 3 weeks and the 4th it empties itself” Perhaps she wasn’t educated on the subject at the time of writing. The author also gives out diet advice and hints that AS starts with a bad diet of the mom and points to the lack of breastfeeding as a source. (In another chapter she also points to genetics thankfully) She even mentions a pill and promotes it. In her advice to young girls she warns us men only care for looks and singles out mechanics and plumbers as people who might take advantage of us. I love facts too much, so I can’t recommend this book unfortunately.
One person found this helpful
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Anandita
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it!
Reviewed in India on February 1, 2020
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I'd heard a lot about the book and is very informative indeed. . . . . . . . .
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