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AprilR

AprilR

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  • AprilR
    Today my coworker said she is too tired to even go out on weekends with friends. I was a bit jealous since she has friends to go out with
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I imagine she was jealous of me for living on my own and found it weird. As if this is the weirdest thing about me lol. And if she is jealous of me she has no idea what she is thinking
    AprilR
    At least my psychiatrist thinks i might be autistic now. This makes me feel less like a failure
    View previous comments…
    AprilR
    AprilR
    As for my psychiatrists opinion, i meant that at least it is validation to me. That i am unable to do some things as well as anyone else does not mean i am lazy or irresponsible. It sometimes feel like people are infantilizing me and it is very annoying when you are doing your best to support yourself
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Validation is something that most people are looking for. It's definitely a help. And if you are treated as autistic then you might see less symptomatic stuff from it.
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    Most people dont know how to properly behave with autist people.
    AprilR
    Idk how to explain this but:The people who live in this country are more nt than western nt s. EVERYTHİNG is based on social rules and it is so annoying
    AprilR
    My psychiatrist finally said i might have autism when i told her about my childhood
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I told her about how my parents thought i have hearing problems when i was a child bc i didn't look when they called me
    AprilR
    When there is too much anxiety so you feel none.
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    I think autism might be a spectator sport. At least, that's how I often feel socially, and - as you say, anxiety and the like just has us feeling like outsiders.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Yes, At some point i just dissociate to stop feeling fear and stress.
    AprilR
    I visited a friend today. I sometimes feel like i am a poor conversationalist when i am with her.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I am very tired now, since i have to act even with my only irl friend.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I like my friend very much but at the same time feel like i don't deserve her. She is much better at everything than i am.
    AprilR
    People who are full of life has always seemed so different than me.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    People who try so hard also. Sometimes i even get angry at myself for trying so hard at my job and friendships.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Things that are not meant to happen will not. People are not powerful enough to change that
    AprilR
    AprilR
    People who are full of life are admirable. But i guess i want to tell them its okay to relax sometimes too.
    AprilR
    I don't know what to do. I really don't. My employer is very nice, calm. But i am too tired to continue. Mentally and physically i am exhausted
    View previous comments…
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I can't take time off, there is no one else that can take over for me if i do that, and when i return the workload would be even heavier.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    The worst thing is, today i talked with my employer about the workload. He said he didn't want to hear about it, instead he praised me again and said he wants to continue working with me for a long time. I don't want to disappoint him but i genuinely feel unhappy
    Judge
    Judge
    That was precisely my predicament as an insurance underwriter. Even when the company sent me on two-week training seminars no one made up the work on my desk. Requiring me to almost abandon any notion of a real vacation. Where more often I solved two weeks of backlogged work in less than a week. The management loved it. I did not.
    AprilR
    It sucks to not have anyone to talk to when life is so hard. I wish i had irl friends.
    View previous comments…
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I noticed i started to hate my life and i am constantly angry.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Maybe walking away from job, or applying for a different job?
    AprilR
    AprilR
    It might be a bad time since another coworker is also quitting. I will talk about my difficulties either way. My psychiatrist also said the same thing. I want my effort to be seen
    AprilR
    I am still not sure about quitting my job. My employer is really a very kind and patient person. I have worked with people with anger issues before so i am a bit scared.
    AprilR
    I don't feel ready for work tomorrow. Hopefully i will come to a decision on Tuesday regarding quitting this job or not.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    The worst part is, another coworker is also quitting this week so i may have to wait for a while
    AprilR
    I had a good talk with my mom for once. She seems accepting of my choice to quit for now.
    View previous comments…
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I am sorry your mom is not supportive. She sounds like she has a forceful character. It is hard not to get influenced by our parents' opinions about us.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks.
    tree
    tree
    @Tony Ramirez Sound like your mother misinterpreted you talking about
    eating healthier food. I think she took that as a criticism of herself and
    what she eats.
    AprilR
    My friend got in a car accident. I can't even visit her bc i am also ill.
    View previous comments…
    Yeshuasdaughter
    Yeshuasdaughter
    I'm sorry. Pray for her. I will too.
    mysterionz
    mysterionz
    I will pray for you and your friend.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Thank you so much guys. She is fine, not seriously injured so she is at home, and her parents are taking care of her. She was able to contact her parents before she passed out thank god.
    AprilR
    Had to leave work early today, i probably have the flu. The stress i endured today at work didn't help
    AprilR
    I had an outburst at work for the first time. Someone asked "what's wrong" and i answered "there is nothing here that is not wrong"
    View previous comments…
    Prometheus
    Prometheus
    I've lost my temper, made scenes...it's not cool, I regret it. Like shouting at somebody, over silly things. It happens to us all...April
    Prometheus
    Prometheus
    Mr. Stevens, you seem very cool calm collected person, very diplomatic. That's an admirable trait, you know.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Yes, the people you work with are also so important. My coworkers are not bad, they aren't outright hostile towards me but they like to gossip a lot so i don't really trust them
    AprilR
    The mental strength i managed up to deal with this office is unreal. I need at least three trophies.
    View previous comments…
    Prometheus
    Prometheus
    Community Ryan GIF by Brawl Stars

    How about 3 medals. That's all I can do.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I feel more like people are babysitting me sometimes
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    April, I promise you're nicer to work with than a lot of peoples' coworkers. Work is often quite stressful, but working with nice people is a good thing.
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