Asperger's & Autism Forum

Gerontius

(2) Age 17 and a half I leave home and end up studying with 70 other guys in a seminary trying to learn whatever it is that Catholic priests learn. (I should've known it was a special interest of mine, but no, conservative homeschool people don't believe in that stuff...ugh)

Gerontius

Age 24ish now and decided to go look so I did go find someone so that is possible. No one gives a crap about high school except the kinds of "peaked in high school" rednecks you see in small Southern towns.

Gerontius

Your culture has got you thinking only one path to what you want. Unfortunately, you've internalized the weapons they use against you & you're still beating yourself with them. It's got to be pretty difficult to break that cycle of stuff with yourself.

Tony Ramirez

I did not date not only in high school or ever. I still feel like there is hope however slim it seems.

Misery

What in the funky heck do the two even have to do with each other? This is exactly what I keep talking about. You're just sitting there going "does this thing that happened 2000 years ago mean I'm destined for doom?" when that doesnt even make any sense.

Misery

Yet again, you stab yourself in the foot and then wonder why you cant walk. And for what? WHY do you keep doing this? What's worse, every time, you dont address that very question. You go silent and just repeat this next time... That's not helping either. Address THIS problem. You cant fix the other until you do. What with the foot stabbing and all.

Markness

I suppose I do it out of unconscious self-loathing.

Misery

That's what you need to address, then. It's pretty much the actual core of the entire situation, everything revolves around it. You want to get anywhere, you gotta beat that, there's really no way around that fact.

Tony Ramirez

I do that too. I have much unconscious self-loathing. I keep thinking of the past and what I could have done differently. It's a hard habit to break.

Gerontius

If it's conscious self-loathing, then you realize "that's not quite accurate" and can actually admit faults as where to begin making improvements.

Aspychata

I didn't date at all in high school. Complete wallflower. Didn't marry until late 30's. But l put myself out there. And surprised the guy never gave up on me. He still wants me in his life.

Jordy

@Aspychata from what you said before you were an attractive young woman that had guys after you. That experience isn't comporable to what a lot of guys experience

L

Luca

I didn’t date at all in high school either. I found someone eventually but I didn’t date at all until I was 28. And I went through a lot of my life not knowing I was a lesbian.
And it’s a new relationship so the potential for failure is still there.

Aspychata

All relationships have up and downs.

S

Slime_Punk

I didn't even go to high school, fwiw

Aspychata

Why the self-loathing? That has to come from somewhere. Where did this start? Was it your mom, your dad, a friend? We all suffer from insecurity, but at some point we move on because we understand everyone suffers from insecurity to different extents. It a universal theme in stories, movies.

Markness

@Aspychata It came from my inability to date in high school and excel at activities I thought were my callings in life.

Aspychata

I never dated in HS. I wasn't emotionally mature enough. And l sorta waded thru activities not believing in myself. But at some point, we feel better by having a job and earning money. But confidence is hard. I understand you there.

Aspychata

What are the good things you could tell yourself that don't involve relationships or girlfriends?

Markness

@Aspychata I really can’t say now. I am thinking of leaving this place again.