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Markness

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  • The longer I live, the more bleak life becomes.
    tree
    tree
    That's an unusual interpretation.

    How does me acknowledging the existence of your feelings translate
    to you that you're being blamed?
    Markness
    Markness
    When you said it’s how I feel, it came off like you were pointing out a fault in me.
    tree
    tree
    To you that's how it seemed.
    That's what you expect from people.
    Did I lose friends again?
    tree
    tree
    I've been reading a story about a girl who loses her friend.
    Some boys grabbed the girl's backpack and dumped everything out
    and the friend left, from where she'd been hidden, so the girl has been
    trying to find her. The friend is six inches tall and the girl was keeping
    her safe in a teddy bear, but now she's lost & on her own.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I used to keep thinking I lost my friends. Then I reach out and they chat with me. One friend I thought I was losing came to my house to talk. So I have not lost anyone.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    I’m here, too. I am a friend and if I’m ever missing, it’s because I am playing hide and seek.
    I should be resting now but instead I am keeping myself awake wondering if I’ll ever have a girlfriend. :(
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    You're stuck in a loop with your thoughts. You should read this and instigate some actual change in your life: "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" by Dr. Joe Dispenza
    I want to feel peaceful before I die.
    Jordy
    Jordy
    Me too
    tree
    tree
    @Markness You posted that in one of your threads, too.
    What does it mean? Are you talking about being in a peaceful/relaxed mood
    while you're dying? Or do you mean you want to experience peace of mind
    while you're living? (I asked same questions in the thread. )
    I wish I could announce I have a girlfriend but I can’t and it rips me apart every day.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Well l am sorry to hear this. Perhaps you need to start talking to woman at the library?
    Markness
    Markness
    I always have. It’s never lead to romance.
    Someone told me because I am not really dating that I shouldn’t feel depressed.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Dating is a world where bloodthirsty sharks will try to eat you alive. You’re a decent person who does not deserve depression.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    @Markness, that doesn’t even make sense, meaning I think you can disregard it.
    I keep having to use the toilet and it’s past midnight. This is partly why I am sleep deprived.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    If you had an Xbox, we could both stop fighting the insomnia and play some Halo together. Terrible idea, I know.
    O
    Owliet
    If this is frequent, maybe see your doctor?
    tree
    tree
    @Markness
    Have you ever been thoroughly descriptive about this with your doctor?

    Or do you prefer to suffer in semi-silence?
    Do I need to become a “bad boy” if I want a girlfriend?
    Markness
    Markness
    @VictorR No, I don’t want that for anyone. This is just what I’ve seen happen since my teens and it’s both confused as well as saddened me.

    I would be a good father to my daughters if I ever sire any. It makes me sad that I haven’t.
    Markness
    Markness
    @Rodafina It is exactly disheartening and unpleasant. I don’t know why my parents thought it was a good idea to move to it. My mother gave up the hippy lifestyle in Austin and she’s admitted to me she regrets it sometimes.
    Jordy
    Jordy
    Most Guys I see that have a lot of success with the ladies are just handsome, masculine, tall etc. If you are all of those and consequently high in social status you tend to get away with more aggressive behaviour.
    I had to get food and tea for my mother. The wait at the drive up was very long and my eyes became watery.
    Markness
    Markness
    She feels too ill to cook currently.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Do you know how to cook? My father, for all his weirdness, insisted us boys learn to cook, clean, and touch-type so we would be able to take care of ourselves.
    Markness
    Markness
    I know how to cook.
    I think I missed out on a social opportunity a moment ago. :(
    Markness
    Markness
    @Gerontius I’ve asked female friends if they know any single women. The answer is always “No.” :(
    O
    Owliet
    @Gerontius is correct: you went to Ikkicon and there you were social.=) You’ve gained a lot from that event and it was only a few days ago. Being too hard on yourself. More social opportunities will come and you will be able to make connections. Just like you did at con.=)
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    But hey, YOU ASKED! That's a good thing. Try phrasing it as "do you have any ideas for me" or something. That will broaden the scope to include, not just single women (might or might not be any) but will include good places to meet them, fun activities where you might find someone-- Who knows?
    Somehow Petey and Morrigan got shut up in a closet upstairs.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Oops! Naughty kitties. I wonder if they were playing with the door & managed to close it on themselves. Cats are something else--Hint hint, going into some threads on here with cat pictures is always welcome- ;)
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Maybe they were hatching secret plans for feline mischief.
    O
    Owliet
    My cats get in everywhere even if I dont really realize where they are at the time. I’ve had one get into the bathroom because he likes to go underneath the cupboard. I’ve had one go into the rabbit’s house and has sat with them. They get everywhere they should go and should not go.
    You mentioned going for allergy testing a while back.
    Was that done by a blood draw?
    By poking your skin to see which materials brought a reaction?
    Or what?
    tree
    tree
    Did you ever get the results back?

    It doesn't sound as if you had many major reactions to anything.
    Markness
    Markness
    I’ll have to look at my MyChart.
    tree
    tree
    If you'll have to look it really sounds like they didn't find much of anything.
    If there had been severe reactions to stuff, seems like somebody would have
    notified you.
    I keep thinking about the clashes I’ve had with other users here, especially over my struggles with wanting a girlfriend. I wish love would finally come into my life so this year won’t be a repeat of the previous one.
    Misery
    Misery
    Something I and others have said before is that you gotta stop telling yourself this stuff over and over. Embracing these bad thoughts is one thing, but... wouldnt it be better if they didnt exist in the first place? Hard to embrace something when it's not there. And they dont have to be there, but you keep making more of them...
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    I have intrusive, violent and recurring thoughts, but I had to learn to focus on the present.

    The past can be troubling and thoughts of the future can be troubling too, but keep your mind in this moment if you can…
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Are you typing? Are you learning something interesting? Are you calmly breathing? You can be safe in this moment without any interference of the past or the future. Focus on the activity you are doing to keep a wandering mind from causing trouble.

    That’s what helps me.
    Bands I hope I will see perform in my lifetime: Public Image Ltd., Killing Joke, Overkill, PIG, Underworld, Godflesh, Meat Beat Manifesto, Orbital, Monster Magnet, Crowbar, and Tomahawk.
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