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AprilR

AprilR

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  • AprilR
    I am feeling a bit frustrated with my therapist. I kept trying to explain that i don't have a social instinct and she would ask why? It's not bc of external reasons, but brain difference.
    View previous comments…
    AprilR
    AprilR
    They are just too different from me and have no understanding of autism and me being autistic. So i don't expect much from them
    All-Rounder
    All-Rounder
    I stopped acting and now everybody in town is harassing, opressing, ostracizing, talking about me as im insane, saying im deaf, intentionally antagonizing me and teaching others to do it etc.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Sometimes i feel like people are naturally born evil.
    AprilR
    Stories will always be my life and my escape from the world. I am grateful for them
    View previous comments…
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I don't play games much but almost all the games i played stayed with me also. I feel happiness and sadness with characters and some of them were/are still my emotional support in this world.
    O
    Owliet
    Same for me. I laugh, cry, all emotions. Currently playing a game that has been very sad to get through.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Which one? Somehow sad stories are also the ones which affect me the most.
    AprilR
    I think i might be actually getting better at work. My employer keeps praising me. Still feels surreal to think i am not that dumb.
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    that´s really black and white. black "I´m dumb", white "the employer praises me, I´m so great!" and you are like ping pong from black to white.
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    praise is good, but self-confidence and trust in yourself is better. praise makes you dependent and more vulnerable. also real self-confidence comes always from inside. when from outside, then it´s mostly "just" temporary.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    But how do i know i am good if no one gives me feed back? I wouldn't know objectively if i am good at work. Self confidence doesn't mean much if it's empty
    AprilR
    I will Just spend this day indulgently, not doing anything i should be doing. Bc i feel like i deserve it
    AprilR
    I can't believe how irrational and childish some people are. I hate people.
    View previous comments…
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I mean i understand if they have problem with the employer, but i didn't do anything to deserve this treatment. You are very right, work place can be hell for autistic people. I hope they can get over their negative feelings.
    Jordy
    Jordy
    Often I go one stop further and say i just hate the state of existing
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I like existing as long as i am not in a place with people who hate me. I can't stand absorbing their hate.
    AprilR
    My employer praised me in front of all the coworkers today. I could feel them getting annoyed and jealous of me. I hope they don't start hating me. Why are people like this..
    AprilR
    I hate going to fancy restaurants alone. Always feel like people are talking behind my back
    View previous comments…
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    Oh, you're allergic tree? That's a shame. But you can have something fancy at home too. :) Doesn't have to be a restaurant.
    O
    Owliet
    I get why it feels awkward, and I hope that you can see that it isn’t necessarily bad to be on your own for going to places like these. Ive done similar when I’ve had to wait for something or chilling out after a bike ride. I usually get a drink, sandwich and have my book. If someone Judges that, the. Isn’t that their problem and not mine? Or your problem? I hope that you can enjoy your time. :)
    Judge
    Judge
    I hate to eat at any restaurants alone. Even fast-food joints. Always order to take my food home.
    AprilR
    I started intermittent fasting. Let's see how this goes.
    tree
    tree
    How does it differ from the ordinary pauses between eating?
    AprilR
    AprilR
    It's basically stopping eating after a certain hour for 16 hrs. For example if you eat dinner at 8 pm you don't eat anything until 12 am the day after. No snacking at night. Idk if it's effective for weight loss, will try and see
    tree
    tree
    I've seen people talking about it.

    Maybe it works for people who otherwise wouldn't be thinking
    about how much they eat.
    AprilR
    I miss my kitty so much but getting another cat is so much responsibility
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    So sorry to hear that your cat died. I hope your decision whether or not to give another cat a home is a decision that you are happy with, whatever you figure to do. Cats are really something else.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Thank you, he was the best cat ever. I think we were very lucky that we get to take care of him for over 10 years.
    AprilR
    Pros of having friends: I feel safe. Cons of having friends: finding something to talk about
    View previous comments…
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    like a black hole. things reach and never leave you. I think everyone has to be really careful whom he gifts his trustness and whom not. most people are not trustworthy and should know nothing about oneself.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I consider all my friends trustworthy in that aspect.
    I just don't want to be an awkward atmosphere between us bc of my problems so i don't really talk about it. I prefer small talk and chit-chat.
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    talking about problems never felt awkward for me. this whole forum is talking about problems lol. I think the only important is that you don´t do that with a stranger. at least half of my contacts had depression and so on. so "problems" often was a topic (of many). and why not. but when you feel comfortable with not talking about it, then it´s also okay. with small talk and chit-chat nothing can go wrong.
    AprilR
    People talking about financial stuff, credits and such at work. Meanwhile i am that surprised pikachu meme.
    View previous comments…
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I just don't know what things like electricity, gas and such are supposed to cost. I feel like i should have learned instinctually but i didn't.
    L
    Luca
    I didn’t learn that instinctually either. I was literally just having my dad explain why my water bill was more expensive in June than in July lol. Adulting is hard
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I know, i am not really smart and it is hard for me to understand how bills work also. I wish i had a financial advisor.
    AprilR
    My employer keeps telling me "to take the initiative" Erm i don't have the skill or experience though?
    AprilR
    AprilR
    One of these moments i wish they didn't give me so much responsibility.
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    best advise for autistic people: just do what you should do.
    what should I do?
    just do it
    ok, thanks for the helpful advice :tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy:
    AprilR
    It appears that i can't relate to anyone, not even other autistic people. Oh well not surprised
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    don´t know if it´s your case, but I often tended to overreact when having a disappointing and/or hurting experience and I trivialized it. when for example someone ghosted me, I was like "noone likes me, noone fits to me, I will always be alone." I think that´s normal and usually it disappears after coping that situation after some time.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Thank you very much, i think this is related to my own circumstances and life experience that i can't relate with anyone. It's not anyone's fault really.
    AprilR
    I witnessed a spiritual ceremony today! It was so interesting and the people involved immediately could tell something was "off" with me. (not that autism is something negative, i also have anxiety and a lot of negative thoughts)
    Crossbreed
    Crossbreed
    What country are you in?
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I am turkish. I just checked and this type of ceremony takes place in many other countries as well. It's called molybdomancy
    Aneka
    Aneka
    Where I live it used to be a tradition on Sylvester. (It is now considered a health risk and forbidden.)
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