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UberScout

UberScout

V.I.P Member
Please Don't Be Mad At Me 02/09/1996 28
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  • UberScout
    You know what cheered me up this time? Studying psionics again. I know i know, new age stuff, I sound delusional, but hey, it gives me hope.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Good to hear from you. I keeping my fingers crossed you are working on releasing and not holding in bad emotions.
    Callistemon
    Callistemon
    Good to hear you found something to cheer you up! :)

    I'm sure I have a row of delusional things I keep in my back pocket to cheer me up too! ;) ...actually one of my favourites is therapeutic fantasies, like surrounding our place with a moat filled with hungry piranhas, and a drawbridge for letting the nice people across...
    UberScout
    UberScout
    PSI Rockin, anyone? :p
    UberScout
    Gave myself a bad case of trigger finger, it's swollen... Please god don't let me have to amputate!!
    View previous comments…
    L
    Luca
    I badly injured my thumb over the weekend but I’m fine! Trust me, you would know if it needed to be amputated. I was up all night thinking I needed stitches, but urgent care looked at it the next morning and put a bandage and some Neosporin on it. Lol
    L
    Luca
    I DID almost lose a thumb two years ago. But that one required immediate action. Finger surgery is very minor though compared to other surgeries I’ve had. But my best advice would be to get it looked at if it’s swollen and painful.
    Callistemon
    Callistemon
    An icepack immediately after an injury can help manage swelling and yes, get it checked out if there is any chance of it being broken so it doesn't heal wonky and stop you from becoming a world-class pianist!
    UberScout
    I got mom a Golden Girls coloring book & some nice incense today. She was so happy :) And I was so proud of myself!
    UberScout
    Is this hell? It certainly feels like it, but doesn't look like it...
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    @Aspychata It's okay. Aloe's always around when I need her. I wish I could stay out longer some days... But no...I never have any choice but to come back to this hellhole....

    I.... I'm going to die like this, aren't I...?
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Okay. Don't go there. Please. Sometimes l get depressed. I went to gym and jogged and that helped with serotonin. Could you bike or walk to get you mood hit of serotonin?
    UberScout
    UberScout
    @Aspychata i mean yeah I walk downtown almost every day... But sometimes it's too hot.
    UberScout
    I punched myself in the nose and let it bleed because I have once again failed at life and i'm letting the blood on my face be a reminder
    View previous comments…
    tree
    tree
    @UberScout That doesn't seem like a very useful thing to do, really.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Please don't self harm. Try to breath in thru nose, exhale thru mouth. For a count of 20. Sometimes l try downward dog yoga position when getting uptight. I also started using a massager on my neck tension spots - this helps. Good luck.
    tree
    tree
    @UberScout You've washed your face by now, right?
    UberScout
    How could I have been in the dark so long about what I REALLY am? How could I not have seen so soon?!
    Slim Jim
    Slim Jim
    What are you. What do you think you see.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    @Slim Jim I'm an angel who got kicked out of Heaven. I'm essentially on probation. Don't remember what it is I did, though. I think it had something to do with rebellion of some sort.
    Slim Jim
    Slim Jim
    'Paradise Lost' - John Milton.
    UberScout
    I found a major discovery about myself tonight, involving... Past life regression... And now... My body feels like it's changing...
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    @crewlucaa_ I may as well tell *somebody* here...

    Luca, you're gonna think i'm really delusional... But Maddog helped me discover that...*sigh* I'm a fallen angel. Apparently, I did something really uncalled for before I got my human body, and apparently I have to "prove my way back into Heaven"...

    I know what you're thinking, Luca... But, I have been shown several of the connections and they are REALLY accurate.
    tree
    tree
    This is hardly a big surprise, given what you've said regarding your step father.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Got my spot at Holistic Edge today! Making money!
    View previous comments…
    Callistemon
    Callistemon
    Well, I'm crossing fingers and toes for you! :)
    tree
    tree
    Can you really cross your toes (without using your hands to position them)?
    Callistemon
    Callistemon
    My big toes across their next-door neighbours! :)

    Also pick things up with my toes outdoors. Knew someone with no arms who did all sorts of amazing things with her toes including touch type!
    UberScout
    %45 done! Had to remove a few things due to inform 7 not recognizing a lot of things that it should be able to...
    UberScout
    Everyone: I'm back in the game development bandwagon and am proud to say that I have a text adventure that's almost ready!
    UberScout
    Things are starting to turn around somewhat, still some arguments and fights here and there, but it's nothing i can't handle.
    UberScout
    Went to Kava the other day, said a special code word and got hooked up with concentrated awesome.
    tree
    tree
    UberScout
    UberScout
    ...that was before i found out the church was being renovated.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    And by "Kava" I meant Port City Kava, the name of the shop my friend works at.
    UberScout
    I....i've lost my voice! I screamed so much last night that I LOST MY VOICE! Now i have no choice but to be nonverbal...
    View previous comments…
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Okay. You hit a really tough time. Sorry.
    Callistemon
    Callistemon
    And further to what @Slim Jim said, not everyone can like everyone - which is a freeing thing to realise. Both about you not having to like everyone, and about not everyone having to like you! :)

    Much less pressure to change who you want to be just to please other people. ;)
    Callistemon
    Callistemon
    An older friend explained this to me when I was in my early 30s. I was a bit shocked at first - she's very congenial - but I realised she was right.

    Also she said that just because she doesn't like some people doesn't mean she can't be civil to them (unless they're rude to her, then she'll draw a line).
    UberScout
    Last night we were all fighting... And i told my mother i hated her because she never does anything about Maddog...
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    @tree She just said "good" and gave me my medicine and went to bed.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Your mom is numb. Emotionally numb. This is what happens in a abusive relationships. She gave you your medicine. Your well-being is important to her. But she has no more energy.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Try not to take your anger out on her. I stayed in an abusive relationship to just raise my daughter. I had no energy for anything else.
    UberScout
    Maddog got yet. ANOTHER. BOTTLE. OF ALCOHOL. Tomorrow I'm going to the episcopal church to find alternative housing solutions!!! I've HAD IT
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Sorry
    So good you are trying. Tell them you are willing to recheck with them. Maybe someone wants help with shopping, house cleaning, you do that for a room.
    tree
    tree
    @UberScout Seeking alternative sounds reasonable.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    That actually sounds like a decent idea. If the Episcopalians are anything like the Catholics they won't care what your beliefs are. Open doors are good.
    Maddog doesn't need more alcohol in his gut & you don't need any more assaults on your life. Good luck tomorrow!
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