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Markness

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  • My mother admitted to me she purposefully puts my siblings before me.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    It is time then to put yourself before their expectations of you. Go chase success even if it hurts.
    Long-practiced sadness will often alter brain chemistry. Dopamine emitters & receptors may go offline.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    That happened to me there for awhile. Ended up having to re-train myself to make serotonin & dopamine. Am now capable of joy, regaining productivity. Might work for you--takes a while but is worth it
    I want to cry right now. :(
    Markness
    Markness
    I guess so but I am discouraged by my lack of a degree and no other job training under my belt.
    L
    Luca
    I don’t have a degree either. But I was able to start a business doing something I love. If you want job coaching and some advice about how/where to look, send me a pm or an email :)
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Markness, if you got to, let's get on the phone & talk things over someday. I have a knack for walking into just about anywhere & getting jobs. They let me drive the polishers at the hardware factory today.
    I think you can do this.
    I keep putting aside adding things to the vision board.
    tree
    tree
    That second sentence characterizes self predicting prophecy.
    Markness
    Markness
    Why do I keep failing, though?
    tree
    tree
    It's possible to re-frame "failure" as incremental success. If you'd stopped standing up when you were a baby learning to walk, would you have learned to walk?
    Maybe I should’ve left the community last year when I started becoming hated?
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    If you will learn to like yourself more, none of that would end up mattering.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    So far approximately 95% of the Markness-bashing on this forum is coming from the man himself.
    How can I avoid Friday night blues?
    tree
    tree
    Adjust your expectations.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Do something you really like to do. I love a new movie and a crunchy snack. I enjoy talking to some friends if possible. The gym visit on Friday keeps my happy points spinning.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    On Friday nights I sometimes like to put some good records on, or play the organ, or drink coffee, or go sit outside & say hi to the neighbors' cat. I'm pretty easily amused. Only society expects you to go clubbing, Markness. Do what fulfills your own desires.
    I feel like not having a girlfriend makes others look down on me.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I don't look down on you. You can't use relationships to identify yourself. You are unique with or without another person. I can truly say some relationships can cause us severe stress. In a way, l wonder if l should have stayed single, l may have been better off.
    L
    Luca
    I don’t think people necessarily look down on me for not having a boyfriend, but some people have called me “desperate” which I’m not… I don’t really feel like dating right now anyways.
    I think it’s really shallow if people care that much if someone else has a boyfriend or girlfriend or not! Tell them it’s none of their business.
    I am getting referred to an endocrinologist.
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    "No danger", as I've heard northerners in the UK say. I'm sure they'll help get you answers, and on the road to feeling better.
    Working only part time has been a deal breaker for getting a girlfriend for me.
    Markness
    Markness
    I also had two deconstructive outlooks instilled in my mind: “You have plenty of time to think about it!” and “God has a plan for you!”
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    I wonder whether you could work with animals yet. Even getting some kind of job at an animal rescue or something. You don't have to be a huge mathematician; lot of that's basic math & guess what it's 2022 and you could get away with a pocket calculator.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    As for those other beliefs, I am still dealing with those. "Plenty of time" is dangerous in excess. The "God's plan" stuff can be super toxic (And I say that from a diehard Christian perspective. Seriously--the amount of anxiety that induces is unfair to anyone)
    I can’t stop thinking about things others said that hurt my feelings.
    tree
    tree
    Another way of saying that is "I keep telling myself those stories that continue my sad angry feelings about being treated unfairly...etc"
    I had to close my eyes for the blood tests this time.
    tree
    tree
    The place I go to, the woman and I generally talk about yaks, the past couple years, since she is the mother of the guy who has the yak farm on the road where I live.
    Was I born in the wrong place?
    Markness
    Markness
    I actually have a car. What’s holding me back is my mother’s web, low finances, anxiety issues, lack of social connections, and severe depression. I can’t simply just get in my car and drive away.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    I saw that bit about your mom's overprotectiveness of you. Not to be rude but I think your mom has mental problems.
    Markness
    Markness
    She’s in denial about them.
    I need to sleep but I keep staying up.
    Homulilly
    Homulilly
    Please, Markness, don't ruminate and go to sleep earlier next time. Staying up late can seriously bring out negative emotions. Btw, seeing how you changed your profile pic from Nanachi to Reg, it looks like you are going for a more proactive stance?
    Markness
    Markness
    @Homulilly It’s more like I wish I could be a survivor instead of a victim. But my attempts to change my life around have met only failures so far.
    tree
    tree
    @Markness.....The last two words of that comment are good. 'so far'....That's like saying 'not yet'...which leaves hope for the future.
    I wish I could talk to my future self.
    tree
    tree
    I wish you could talk to your present self without telling him those non-rational stories.
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