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Markness

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  • Do I have to beg the universe for a better coming year?
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Begging the universe is futile but easy. Working towards a better future is not futile, but difficult.
    Maybe I am not meant to be happy but to suffer until I die?
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Life often sucks and sometimes suffering is unavoidable. But often it is too easy to stay in a spot that hurts instead of making the first extremely difficult steps to walk away from that spot.
    I refuse to give up wanting a girlfriend just because some dislike me and don’t want a relationship to happen for me.
    Another year ending without me having a girlfriend once more. This is the 16th year.
    Markness
    Markness
    I want year 17 to end with me having a lover.
    R
    risk
    If the approval of others becomes a substantive basis. For personal confidence and general self worth. Then you build a house on a foundation of ice no one will or can respect that.
    tree
    tree
    "having a lover" is rather objectifying. Instead of framing the experience as if it were obtaining a possession, how about thinking "I want to be a lover."? Loving is a behavior.
    Oh no! I accidentally took a second dose of fluoxetine!
    tree
    tree
    For some reason, my first thought was "well, at least it wasn't ExLax."
    Why is it ok for others to accuse me of harassing someone when I never did?
    R
    risk
    It isn't go the offensive if they do
    I’ve stayed inside most of the day so far. I am giving myself some rest after work and driving around all last week.
    Feeling physically ill increases my sadness.
    Markness
    Markness
    I always associated being sick with unhappiness.
    tree
    tree
    That makes sense, doesn't it?
    Markness
    Markness
    It does. Two days ago now, my right ear was burning yesterday and my throat felt like it was full of snot. It made me feel gross.
    I did a lot of things to get out of my vicious cycle but I am still lonely, don’t have a girlfriend, and stuck in a rut.
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