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Markness

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  • I refuse to give up wanting a girlfriend just because some dislike me and don’t want a relationship to happen for me.
    Another year ending without me having a girlfriend once more. This is the 16th year.
    Markness
    Markness
    I want year 17 to end with me having a lover.
    R
    risk
    If the approval of others becomes a substantive basis. For personal confidence and general self worth. Then you build a house on a foundation of ice no one will or can respect that.
    tree
    tree
    "having a lover" is rather objectifying. Instead of framing the experience as if it were obtaining a possession, how about thinking "I want to be a lover."? Loving is a behavior.
    Oh no! I accidentally took a second dose of fluoxetine!
    tree
    tree
    For some reason, my first thought was "well, at least it wasn't ExLax."
    Why is it ok for others to accuse me of harassing someone when I never did?
    R
    risk
    It isn't go the offensive if they do
    I’ve stayed inside most of the day so far. I am giving myself some rest after work and driving around all last week.
    Feeling physically ill increases my sadness.
    Markness
    Markness
    I always associated being sick with unhappiness.
    tree
    tree
    That makes sense, doesn't it?
    Markness
    Markness
    It does. Two days ago now, my right ear was burning yesterday and my throat felt like it was full of snot. It made me feel gross.
    I did a lot of things to get out of my vicious cycle but I am still lonely, don’t have a girlfriend, and stuck in a rut.
    To look or not to look for a relationship? The answers I get confuse me.
    L
    Luca
    Hookups aren’t all they’re cracked up to be either :/ And the kind of people who just want to “hook up” are probably not interested in the long run.
    I think it’s ridiculous to suggest that to you too, because it sounds like you would prefer to be really emotionally invested in someone.
    And I’m socially inept too… the people who hooked up with me quickly realized that. They wanted sex.
    L
    Luca
    I haven’t been in a relationship because no one has ever wanted one with me. Like not interested in being invested in me because I’m awkward and not that good looking and people find me annoying. My gender identity is also a turnoff. Men hooked up with me for my “feminine” body parts.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Listen to crewlucaa, Markness; hookup culture is just another way for people to treat other people as things. You, on the other hand, are above that.
    Another disappointing trip to the Sans Bar. I suppose it was just a brief vapor of joy.
    Markness
    Markness
    Isn’t that what I should do instead of staying at home, though?
    tree
    tree
    The problem is neither going out or staying home. It's the reaction to the experience, the stories you tell yourself before, during, and after.
    Markness
    Markness
    A lot of it is because I am 33 and it gets frustrating when I keep getting disappointing results.
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