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Markness

Markness

V.I.P Member
Young God 35
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  • Markness
    I was asked if I was married again. I hate always having to answer no. :(
    tree
    tree
    Was a male, asking, I guess?
    Markness
    Markness
    It was an older woman. Last month when I was in exile, a man asked me the same question. It hurts no matter who asks. :(
    Markness
    Just learned I won’t be joined (again) for a hike and the therapy group is shrinking due to some people going inpatient. *sweat drop emoji*
    tree
    tree
    From physical illness? Or emotional/psychological problems?
    Markness
    Markness
    The latter.
    Markness
    I feel like I woke up from a nightmare after being away for so long. It’s over but my mind is struggling to find its footing.
    Markness
    I hope no one forgot me when I was gone. I had an nightmarish last month that nearly destroyed me.
    Markness
    I already feel death grabbing at my head. It feels like it’s being pulled apart.
    tree
    tree
    Sounds more like something related to life.
    Markness
    I feel like it’s time for me to disappear. I am slowly but surely becoming excommunicated from the autism community.
    Crossbreed
    Crossbreed
    No one wants you to leave.
    No one wants you to keep spiraling downward under a futile paradigm, either.
    Crossbreed
    Crossbreed
    (That futile paradigm is that life owes you a girlfriend.)
    Keep seeing your therapist. After you lose some of that baggage, you will start to radiate a healthy level of security.
    (No one is 100% secure.)
    Markness
    Others tell me I am mentally unstable. Try living with an emotionally and physically abusive family before you judge me.
    Crossbreed
    Crossbreed
    You're going to have to come up with a better pick-up line than that.
    How about,
    "You should be grateful that I haven't punched you, yet?"
    [Notice: the preceding was an exercise in hyperbole...]
    Crossbreed
    Crossbreed
    What I mean is you are saying,
    "I have an excuse to be contentious, so count on me to be contentious."
    GLWT
    Crossbreed
    Crossbreed
    Are you familiar with the phrase,
    "Shooting yourself in the foot?"

    You need to relax. That may not be an aggressive approach, but (on the plus side) it is less repulsive. (And it will take some time to undo the damage that you are currently doing. Or don't)
    Markness
    If I had a girlfriend, I would be so much happier and my brain wouldn’t be malfunctioning from neural pathway blocks.
    View previous comments…
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    I don't really see it as toxic. Self help is a necessity that falls by the wayside when you're depressed. The notion of a relationship curing his depression - as it sounds like is his assumption is nothing more than a salvation fantasy.
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    Also, depression rubs off on those you're closest too. If you're down in the dumps all the time, it puts a real strain on a relationship and will possibly lead to your partner being depressed. I've had depression nearly 20 years and I can categorically say I tried dating for happiness numerous times, and it played out terribly.
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    I know many people with depression, and there's a definite pattern to mental health issues complicating relationships. You have to be willing to work on your own happiness - not dump all your problems at someone else's door and think it'll fix you. It won't.
    Markness
    It’s not that I don’t appreciate the dating advice I am getting. My executive function is really bad right now and then there’s my father.
    Markness
    Oh no! I just learned my father is going to need heart surgery tonight!
    View previous comments…
    tree
    tree
    I see. Thanks. I cdn't tell whether you meant that, or whether it was a completely sudden emergency surgery.
    V
    VernalSole1355
    Sending prayers for him, nurses, surgeons, and doctors involved! Also sending prayers for the rest of your family!
    Yeshuasdaughter
    Yeshuasdaughter
    @Nitro just went through this with his papa, and everything turned out good. I'm praying for you so much right now.
    Gerontius
    Say do you ever use the phone? If you do why don't you give me a call if you want to rant or chat or talk about whatever's cooking.
    Markness
    Markness
    I actually use my phone to post here. Generally, I don’t like using my phone to talk because it hurts my ear but I’ll see if I can work something in.
    Markness
    Do others even want me to have a girlfriend? Why does everyone seem so hostile to me in regards to wanting a relationship?
    View previous comments…
    Markness
    Markness
    I told a lady in group therapy being near her made me want to hug her and she happily hugged me. She’s a lesbian, by the way.
    Markness
    Markness
    I also talked to a lady at a game store and asked for her name.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Alright, you are venturing out and talking to woman, this will give you more confidence. We all are told no, woman suffer from rejection too. But you are doing excellent!☺
    Markness
    I haven’t drawn for a long time. I got put out from the lack of comments or being told what I did was incomplete. No one likes me.
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    More over-generalisation. Just because you get a handful of negative comments doesn't mean the entire population of the world dislikes you.
    Markness
    I found out a lady I was interested in already has a boyfriend. This life is getting unbearable for me. It’s not a journey but torture.
    oregano
    oregano
    That's a common retort. Chris Chandler called it the "infinitely high boyfriend factor". Where I live asking a woman out is considered an insult, so I hardly ever see it, but the boyfriend thing is what women say to get a guy to buzz off.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    I've had things like this & the way I deal with it is, if I like the girl, I want her to be absolutely living her best life. So if she's already found a guy she likes, awesome! Usually I end up seeing the boyfriend too & a lot of times they're a cute couple--all the world loves a lover so I like seeing everyone happy-
    Markness
    I don’t understand it when people tell me “Work on yourself!” or “Improve yourself!”. Both things sound so vague and unclear to me.
    View previous comments…
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    If they know you, and see that you're suffering from depression - they're trying to offer general advice. Dedicating more time to self help, than spending more time focusing on thoughts that continue to amplify your depression and other negative emotions. As with many things in life - the more time you spend dedicated to something, the better you become at it. Depression is no different.
    tree
    tree
    Yeah. It is meant to be encouraging and supportive.
    oregano
    oregano
    If a NT sees that somebody is "down" or depressed, they want to help, but usually they don't know how. But they still want the person to know they care, so they fall back on generic platitudes. They're not really giving real advice per se but just want to let a person know they care. NT's really didn't have a socially acceptable direct way of saying it until the mid 90s and "I feel your pain".
    Markness
    I failed to catch a fish yesterday. I really can’t do anything. :(
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    Depressive overgeneralization
    Butterfly88
    Butterfly88
    A lot of times people don't catch anything. It has more to do with the water temperature and the fish than you.
    Markness
    Should I commit suicide?
    View previous comments…
    oregano
    oregano
    Call the suicide prevention hotline, the number is in the sticky posts in Help and Support. You can always talk to us, but we are not licensed intervention counselors. If there is a regional hotline where you live (most major cities have one) you can call them.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    No. You can always go to the emergency room and ask for meds to help you. Please don't let people beat you down.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I wish you could quit your job. They sound like jerks and they arent good for your mental status. I was glad to leave those places.
    Markness
    I fear I am going through a mental breakdown. My mind is racing and I feel extremely despondent. I am going to call in sick to work.
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