Markness

Good to hear something positive from you, buddy!

This contains useful information. https://cruciallearning.com/blog/responding-to-accusations/ It takes "defense" and "fighting" out of the picture.

I always associated being sick with unhappiness.

That makes sense, doesn't it?

It does. Two days ago now, my right ear was burning yesterday and my throat felt like it was full of snot. It made me feel gross.

https://genius.com/Swans-hypogirl-lyrics

They are also lyrics to Pigface’s Empathy. Michael Gira, the core of Swans, sang on that version while Jarboe sang on Hypogirl.

Hookups aren’t all they’re cracked up to be either :/ And the kind of people who just want to “hook up” are probably not interested in the long run.
I think it’s ridiculous to suggest that to you too, because it sounds like you would prefer to be really emotionally invested in someone.
And I’m socially inept too… the people who hooked up with me quickly realized that. They wanted sex.

I haven’t been in a relationship because no one has ever wanted one with me. Like not interested in being invested in me because I’m awkward and not that good looking and people find me annoying. My gender identity is also a turnoff. Men hooked up with me for my “feminine” body parts.

Listen to crewlucaa, Markness; hookup culture is just another way for people to treat other people as things. You, on the other hand, are above that.

Isn’t that what I should do instead of staying at home, though?

The problem is neither going out or staying home. It's the reaction to the experience, the stories you tell yourself before, during, and after.

A lot of it is because I am 33 and it gets frustrating when I keep getting disappointing results.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoJ3AuYQHlY

Are you on any medication for depression/anxiety?

I am on fluoxetine.

Instead of calling it a waste, you could try thinking of it as an investment.

Only thing to do would be hang out with gaming friends & talk about a day where Dark Souls kicked your ass. I'm sure everyone else has had a rough go of it too; some games are difficult!

I managed to finally break down the wall I kept hitting and hurting my hands with! However, I am going to take a LONG Dark Souls break.

Sorry you had that. I did once - felt close to death. I’ll never get food from fast food places again. Won’t risk it.

@Markness Was it food from some commercial establishment? Or home made? Was it same kind of food you guys normally eat ? Or something new?

My mother buys whole roast chickens from HEB constantly and this particular one was bad.

Have you read The Science Of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles? It's not just about being rich in money, but about how to get anything you want. It's the basis of much of today's self help milieu. It's a free pdf. Google it.