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Recent Blog Entries

  1. All adults are extensions of my parents... it's weird.

    I just realized something. I am not fighting cancer. I'm not even trying to. I'm just listening to the doctors, trying to be a good girl. A little back story... I know this sounds crazy, but in my brain, it is the only way things work: I am almost forty years old. But in my head, all adults my age or older are Mommys, Daddys, or Bad Guys. Everyone younger than me are just little kids (yes even people who are like 36). When I go to a doctor, it's really important that they are my age...
  2. Chemo and autism

    Chemotherapy is its own personal torture when you have autism. Everyone wants to touch you and inject stuff into you. The chemo ward is a room with dozens of recliners and you're expected to sit near all these people for hours at a time while nurses inject poison into a plastic port that's been surgically inplanted into your chest.
  3. So I think I might have ASD.

    Alright. Today’s Monday. I’m on the train to my workplace. It’s jam-packed, people are speaking on their phones, there’s an entire school class in it and I can’t get to my earphones cause the train is too packed to reach for them in my backpack. I’m freaking out. Last night I couldn’t sleep well because my thoughts kept waking me up. I had to change outfits twice before leaving the house this morning because something was always not right. I am a university student who works as a student...
  4. Too Many Dice

    So, today, I'm just gonna ramble about a specific board game I've been into. Why? Because I bloody well can, that's why. Nobody can stop me. Well, maybe Batman could. Yeah, there's other hobbies I havent talked about yet, but they're a bit more difficult to do, so I'll hold off a bit till I've got photos and info sorted. For now... board games. Today's game is Too Many Bones. Sometimes I wonder how they come up with these names. Billed as a "dice-builder RPG", the game very clearly...
  5. Resuming life

    I have somewhat of a milestone to celebrate. I've been mentally stable and happy for over two months now, and it's been a while since that happened. I've been feeling like myself again and I haven't been myself for a long time. I enjoy life. I am hungry for new things. I enjoy music again. Hell, I dance and sing to music in my house. And secretly in my office, when no one is there yet, but that's beside the point ;) I have met my new psychiatrist, who will focus on keeping me stable and...
  6. Let's ramble about twisty puzzles (part 2)

    So, last time, I explained the basic Rubik's Cube. As well as my method: only 2 algorithms, but they are VERSATILE. They can be used in many ways... and on almost any puzzle. It's just a matter of figuring out HOW to use them, and making slight tweaks if needed. Which is good, because now things get funky. Case in point, the Megaminx: This intimidating thing is often the second puzzle for those into this hobby (well, those who are into it beyond just the speed aspect). Many more sides...
  7. Let's ramble about twisty puzzles

    Okay. Time to talk a bit about hobby #2. This time, we enter the wild world of twisty puzzles. There's some crazy stuff in here, but let's start with the one that everyone knows, and in the process, I'll talk a bit about how I got into this. The original Rubik's Cube. Everyone knows what this thing is, and everyone knows just how it works. Scramble it up by twisting the different faces of the cube, and then attempt to get it back to it's starting state. Everyone knows that. And...
  8. Trapped

    As I stare out the window fixated on what is beyond what I can see wishing that I could become a part of the beyond and disappear so that no one will be able to see me again I realise how looking out the window is like a metaphor for how I feel but also a great physical representation of what I am going through right now. I am trapped. Trapped inside my house unable to leave due to extreme amounts of anxiety about seeing people and the what ifs about what could happen. Trapped inside my...
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