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Undiagnosed - Part Five

Pattern Finder
I remember counting the stripes on the wallpaper on my walls, but not just counting them, I would see the pattern of three thick stripes followed by one thin stripe and then it would be repeated. It would frustrate me if I got to the end of the wall and it ended in way which spoiled the pattern.

I would randomly choose a small number and just count until I got to a round number, I wasn’t able to stop until I got to an acceptable round number. If I was counting in 3’s then 30 was an acceptable number to stop at, but then I would think 3 * 30 is 90 so I would count up to 90 but then I’d think 90 is only 10 away from a hundred so I’ll just count to 100.

I work as a taxi driver in a taxi rank of about 100 cars so I’m surrounded by licence plates all day long and I can’t help but read them, not the whole licence number just the last three characters. LNT, DSV, GNT and so on, I never remember them I just read them.

Friendships / Boundaries
It seems the one thing all Aspy’s have in common is complete ineptitude when making and keeping friends and I am no different. I’m lucky in a sense though because I do have one friend that I seem to have kept over the years although sometimes I think the reason we have stayed friends is that I mostly let him dictate out friendship as I really fear being overbearing. It’s for this reason that I don’t like to be the one to arrange meeting up, most people would probably interpret as being rude and would eventually break contact with me but this is somebody I’ve know for 18 years so he knows my quirks. He himself is a very social person with many friends some of which I’ve met and although I tried hard to be a part of his larger circle of friends I could never seem to do it and eventually I just stopped getting invited along to things. I see him once every month or so and we have a few beers and a laugh, and I’m glad to have him. I’ve always told myself that I like my own company and that I don’t mind being alone which is true but there are times when I don’t see or speak to anybody for days and I wish that I could just sit with other people and be ignored, this was easier when I was younger as an adult this is impossible.

Social Touch
I don’t like touching people and I don’t like people touching me. It’s not like I’ll have a meltdown if it happens but I will avoid it at all costs. The worst time of the year is new-years because everybody is shaking hands and I hate that and I particularly hate the new-years hug. I don’t know who to hug and who to shake hands with, I shook my female boss’s hand one time and I’m not sure if she was expecting a hug but to hug my boss was just to weird, far to intimate. Then there is the question of how long to hold the hug and how firm.

Do I have Asperger Syndrome


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