What a weird feeling.
Tomorrow I'm turning forty. Hopefully I'm nearing the end of my cancer journey.
Meanwhile I've had two friends die of cancer while I've been in treatment for it. The most recent I just found out about this evening.
So I'm happy to be alive, but I'm sad they died, and I wonder, why them and not me?
Fighting for life as people's hands slip from mine into eternity. It's so painful, and makes me see life and death differently. More thankful for each heartbeat, desiring more closeness with relatives. But at the same time, less scared of seeing the Pearly Gates.
I don't know if I'll ever be the same.
As the bible says: To everything, there is a season, and a time to every purpose, under Heaven.
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