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The journey to the opening exhibition night in London

The night before the exhibition it took 5 hours to get 3 hours sleep - now that's value for money.

Just before I drifted off having a nap - my friend said she was ready to meet whenever I was. So I listened to my gut, and suggested that drove to London again - as I knew it was going to be hot, and I didn't fancy tackling the underground or trains in this heat. Comfy car, a big music playlist and air con? Sign me up laddie.

On the drive there, we were being redirected due to a crash on the motorway into London. It took us along a very scenic route through sleepy villages with lots of thatched cottages and twisting country lanes between rolling fields of golden wheat and rich green treelines.

A tranquil intro which was making my anxiety, dizziness and nausea start to lessen. As I slowed to let a car through, my car made a loud clunking noise and 2 warning lights came up on the dash (ABS/traction control) - deep joy.

I parked up, checked the brakes actually worked, then de-toured and drove gingerly to Cambridge to get the train instead. 5 minutes later my dashboard scored a hatrick; and a new warning light came up. The brakes continued to work - so I threw caution to the wind. Rock & roll etc.(?)

The station was quite busy inside, and then we found the trains to Kings Cross were cancelled and we had to go via the other main London station - Liverpool Street. The platform was nearby, and it was heaving. Thankfully the train that came was very long, and we found seats away from the initial carriage we were in - which had a bit of a prisoner of war train vibe going on with the heat and the claustrophobia.

We decided to take the 30 minute walk from the station to the gallery. We saw so many wonderful buildings, sites and people. I understand why people love the energy of a city to live in, but I find that energy actually ends up depleting me.

Dizziness and anxiety have hit me in strong waves over the past few days, and the train ride in almost had me wanting to give up. Especially after the train cancellation, and when waiting in the huge queue for the only train to get us into London.

The tall buildings kept the sun away for most of our walk, and the breeze down the streets was wonderfully refreshing. When we arrived at the gallery - the roof/loft space was like an oven. My dizziness and anxiety peaked. But we got there, and we admired the pictures. My friend had a cocktail and I had a little kebab on a stick made entirely of fruit.
Whilst the heat and my dizziness prevented me from a prolonged stay, it felt wonderful to see my work up, and to also have a copy of the booklet for the gallery, with my name and the short 150 word bio I was allowed to add.

The owner looked swarve on both days - sunglasses, black trousers, black blazer, with a fancy top underneath, jewellery and thick, long hair which was held back with an alice band. He had a small office to himself. The roof space had low, exposed wooden beams, and his office wall was made of similar vertical beams, with glass inbetween. He had a desk, with a crystal decanter of spirits, a cigar and he was smoking a cigarette.

The whole vibe in the gallery was really nice, and to have my work in London - it feels wonderful. I'm also glad we walked in London rather than getting the underground, as it really helped cement the significance of where my work was being exhibited.

On the way back we sat outside a restaurant and had Thai food, as we watched the London life around us go by. Such a huge mix of people, sounds, smells and architecture.

We tried the station closer to the gallery which was where we'd originally have gone to. Thankfully the trains were running again and we managed to get one which was supposedly cancelled. Unfortunately a few stops before Cambridge the driver said he couldn't finish the journey due to previous delays, so we had to wait a little while for the final train.

The drive back was calm. No more anxiety or dizziness. A night time drive accompaniced by Burial's album - Untrue. If you haven't heard of him - his music is perfect for night time drives. Calm and deep electronic music.

Had a herbal tea at hers before I went home. I also got to see the inside of her van that she's converted to live in. It's nice to see someone who's done something that I've been pondering recently. Also, she has the most wonderful dog, and I too know that I will eventually have a dog too.

Truth be told, settling down in a house can wait. Whilst I have my house deposit money set aside - I couldn't afford where I'd want to live, and I don't want to settle anymore. Whilst I can sometimes continue to feel trapped by my worries - I've more freedom now than I ever have done, so I know I will find the right way. At the end of the day, we just have to listen to our gut.

Right, enough monologuing. Enjoy your weekend.


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