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The hunt for friendships online

By Aru · Sep 16, 2020 · ·
  1. Quick info on me before we start: I'm housebound more or less due to my social issues, panic attacks etc and i'm classed as disabled so i can't socialise in person very well at all, but i'm fairly okay online.

    I've been searching for ways to make friends online, I'm an extremely friendly guy who loves to chat casually however i'm not the best at keeping up conversations unless it's a certain topic like gaming, anime.

    I'm sure others can relate to struggling to make conversation unless it's a certain topic that they know things about or are interested in themselves, But it seems double hard with autism too, I'm not sure but sometimes being 'nice' doesn't feel enough? Like i can sit and say "Hello! How are you!" and be the most friendly guy in the world, But i still end up sort of being.. ghosted? If that's the right word? Like people know you're there but they look past you to other people who are more chatty, entertaining and you're in this never ending spiral.

    I know a lot of people with autism are okay with being alone, And i do LOVE my space, But i also do need to socialise, It's complicated, I love having friends and smiling and laughing together and honestly one of my BIGGEST fears is simply being stuck in this spiral of trying to make friends and failing, until it's too late.

    Are there any fellow housebound nerds here like myself who also struggle with this? Do you have any advice?


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  1. Rae Ray
    good day aru,
    i'm sure everyone feels the same way as you when it comes to conversation and making friends. that's one of the best things I love about this forum, it gives me time to collect my thoughts and write them down at my own pace so i can have a conversation and hopefully make friends. i also totally get the ghosted part. it's like we are not even there(what is up with that ???).
    Because we love time alone, i'm sure a lot more than nt's ever could, people think we don't care for meeting and having friends, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I long for friends and to socialize. I also fear one day socializing and friends will be a thing of the past (for some strange reason I can't explain).
    The only advice I have is don't give up on yourself. keep puttin in the good fight because i believe it makes a difference and keeps us from spiraling down to the point of no return.
  2. Au Naturel
    I think "ghosted" is a good word for it. I have often thought I would make a very good spy because of it. I can move about a party and listen to everything everyone else says and they pay me no attention. It is as if I disappear into the wallpaper or something.
      Rae Ray likes this.
  3. Moonhart44
    i also try to find friends online. my problem is i get anxious even on line. i am afraid to response even on line and it make take me days, or i may "run away". i have a job in the real world but i do my very best to stay indoors. i am maybe a nerd and the only thing i ever want to do really is play video games. i play on teams so it helps for my socialisation. today was good because someone wanted to play wiht me again. i like this website because people respond pretty fast.i go on gaiaonline because i always have and have made online friends there, but i guess its like u have to explore the web? but its hard???
      Rae Ray likes this.