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The end of social networks and social endeavour for me

For many years since I started on social networks, firts on hi-5 and then facebook a part of me never got fully conected to the social paradigm those sites include. I've never been a very social guy, and I'm more of a solitaire and isolated person.

My therapists told me to at least stay in contact with friends in those sites and try to know new people, for some time I try it but inthe end my suspects and opinions about this "social netsworks" became true.

We live in a world where people may look nice and social, where networks promise us to be closer to others and create relationships (friendship, love, etc) through the magic of internet, the truth is this sites are just an extension of how society really is and the false world we live in, were it is better to lie and block someone that trying to solve our problems, in which we can uload photos and stories of how we aren't, and brag about things never happened.

For several years I saw my anxiety growing while I watched how other people enjoy being with friends, going out and talking while I just couldn't do it, even when I tried I just couldn't achieve a true friendship and I wasted precious time in those sites, time I could spend on myself and in my personal growth.

Is for that and for a lot more I decided to erase all my accounts in this networks, they just don't worth the time and effort and more important my inner peace.

Also, I guess trying to being social in real life is not for me, I'll just isolate myself looking for the guy I used to be, alone but happy and productive.

Comments

Nemo
While this speaks to me, I feel really sad that you're going through this.
 
Delbert
It is so, there is a lot of fakeness going on out there in the world and what ya experience online is an extension of that, even an exaggeration of it...

At the same time there are those, suchas yourself, who see through the B.S. out there and just want something real, not fake...

there are some people out there, it is a matter of wading throgh the mess of the masses to find the few scattered about...

find those and connect with them...

leave the fakeness to those who want to be fake..
 
Full Steam
I find most social networks to be about as deep as conversations in a hair dressing salon.

And about as useful.

I'm sure, many people get great pleasure from chatting about their poodles while getting their hair done, and then maybe they form a friendship group around poodles and then ***** about none-poodle owners who also go to the same salon. Facebook is that on a grand scale, and a very unpleasant place to be (even if it's been built by and Aspie!)

I see society as existing in clusters - friendship & shared interest groups. The most obvious are the above. They stand out and they are loud (and in this example, probably pink), but there are many others just as diverse as humans are.

Since Aspies like Aspies, there must be many Aspie groups, both aware of their nature and unaware. I think maybe it's about finding the islands or Aspieness and ignore the islands of idiocy :D

E.g a software developer group is likely to be a very comfortable place for most Aspies.
 
LyricalMuse
It sounds if you and I are in a similar place. I used to be on FB all the time and it was a blast. Then, when situations in my life changed that caused my anxiety to reach an all-time high and I couldn't be on FB, only two of my "friends" even bothered to try to find out why I had disappeared. Even though I had been in contact by phone and by mail with most of those people for years, it seemed that I wasn't really missed -- even by those who claimed to "love and care" about me.

I tried returning to FB in June of last year, but I was only able to keep up my communications there until the end of September. When I knew the people I was interacting with weren't really looking for anything deep or meaningful in a relationship, it was difficult for me to maintain a relationship because I actually did care about them. I guess I don't do casual friendships very well, I never have. (It also explains why I don't interact with people here, even though I've been visiting this site for almost three years.)

I've become very cynical about the world now. I used to love people, now I feel like my time, energy, and emotions were wasted on individuals who really didn't see me as anything more than an intelligent, creative person who was always good for a laugh. (Because I used to be really funny... back when I was blissfully ignorant of people's true lack of concern.)

During the last five months, I've spent 80% of my time alone in the same room of my home. If I weren't married and didn't have a son, daughter, and grandson living here, I wouldn't be interacting with anyone other than my doctors.

When I think about how happy I was before everything fell apart (that's a long story), it makes me unbearably sad. If I don't keep myself distracted with my current interests at all times, I realize how much I miss the person I was only five years ago. I wonder if she will ever come back.

And now... :(
 
Delbert
LyricalMuse said:
It sounds if you and I are in a similar place. I used to be on FB all the time and it was a blast. Then, when situations in my life changed that caused my anxiety to reach an all-time high and I couldn't be on FB, only two of my "friends" even bothered to try to find out why I had disappeared. Even though I had been in contact by phone and by mail with most of those people for years, it seemed that I wasn't really missed -- even by those who claimed to "love and care" about me.

I tried returning to FB in June of last year, but I was only able to keep up my communications there until the end of September. When I knew the people I was interacting with weren't really looking for anything deep or meaningful in a relationship, it was difficult for me to maintain a relationship because I actually did care about them. I guess I don't do casual friendships very well, I never have. (It also explains why I don't interact with people here, even though I've been visiting this site for almost three years.)

I've become very cynical about the world now. I used to love people, now I feel like my time, energy, and emotions were wasted on individuals who really didn't see me as anything more than an intelligent, creative person who was always good for a laugh. (Because I used to be really funny... back when I was blissfully ignorant of people's true lack of concern.)

During the last five months, I've spent 80% of my time alone in the same room of my home. If I weren't married and didn't have a son, daughter, and grandson living here, I wouldn't be interacting with anyone other than my doctors.

When I think about how happy I was before everything fell apart (that's a long story), it makes me unbearably sad. If I don't keep myself distracted with my current interests at all times, I realize how much I miss the person I was only five years ago. I wonder if she will ever come back.

And now... :(
Click to expand...
Don't loose hope. it is a bit crazy though...

A hard truth, but an opportunity in that those who do not much for you, weeding themselves out by their selves... just got to find the few who really give you them good vibes... similar interest and such...

Theres a lot of takers out there.. some are givers... they are harder to find... just as you and I, they are likely reclusive as well, having similar experiences as you have shared...
 

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Jorg
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