I’m separated and so are you.
I want to move forward, start anew.
You want your wife to continue fighting.
But she just can’t.
She doesn’t have any strength left.
You see me and you see your wife.
You see my ex and you see yourself.
You want me to go back to him,
because that’s what you wish your wife would do.
If I do it, she might do it.
There would be hope for you.
On the other hand,
if I declare my marriage dead,
you know she is declaring hers dead too.
That’s why you told me that I was blind,
since “I could not see that my husband loved me”.
You actually meant that your wife was blind
since she couldn’t see that you loved her.
Your love hurt her,
and “she is afraid” of going back to you,
Most probably, she’s not afraid.
I think she just can’t risk losing herself, again, being with you.
Just as I can’t risk losing myself, again, with my ex.
There’s a kind of love that hurts,
and the recipient of that love does not feel loved.
We all need to feel loved.
It doesn’t matter how much the other person claims to love us.
If we don’t feel loved, we feel empty.
It’s just human nature to want to feel full inside.
No one can run a car with an empty gasoline tank.
You can’t make a car run out of goodwill.
It needs gasoline.
A relationship can’t run without feeling loved,
no matter how much goodwill you put into it.
It doesn’t matter how much you mean well,
or how much you want to grow as a person
or as a couple,
or how sorry you are,
or how much you’ve learned.
It doesn’t matter how much you claim to love the other person.
If one of you hasn’t felt loved for a long time,
trying to reignite the relationship is just as useless
as trying to ignite a car without gasoline.
Sometimes it’s just too late to try to fill up a love tank.
The car might have been parked for so long,
that the motor has stopped functioning
and all that is left
is its bodywork.
It doesn’t mean
that you will not be able to fill up a love tank again.
It just means
that you have to let go
of what doesn’t work anymore
so both of you can start, again,
with a new life.
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The empty love tank of a failed relationship