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Some Thoughts and a First Step

  1. Maybe it isn't exactly the first step, but I went to my GP and asked for a referral to a psychiatrist and he said he was very glad I'd come in to ask. He had suggested it to me six months ago only I wasn't ready. I'm scared, of course. I'm so sure I am on the spectrum and afraid that I will be another of those females who gets a diagnosis of bi-polar or personality disorder instead. My GP told me I must accept whatever the diagnosis is and I told him sometimes a diagnosis is wrong and he agreed. I went with four pages of typed notes, a basic cover letter and then three pages of the DSM V diagnostic criteria with some examples of why I believe I meet the criteria. My doctor said he didn't need to see that and he didn't want to read my cover letter. He did say it could be scanned and added to my file but he insisted that I had to verbalise what I wanted. Maybe this is some kind of protocol for patients known to be verbal. Having gone in with a plan and carefully prepared documents I was a bit distressed and had to work hard not to get angry or argumentative. Later when I reviewed it all in my mind I realised he had been supportive and that in essentially not even needing to see my documents he was obviously seeing something in me that needed addressing. A referral can take months so I don't expect to have a first appointment with the psychiatrist for some time. Perhaps by this summer.

    I'm worrying about what the evaluation and testing procedure will be and hoping that if there are tests they are better than the vague questions in the online tests.

    I'm glad that I can be evaluated by a psychiatrist because the cost of a private assessment would be out of reach for me but I am also worried that since psychiatrists don't really do all the talking therapy kind of stuff that I might be too quickly dismissed for not looking autistic. I just have to hope the doctor is better than that.

    Anyhow, it's a first step, asking for that referral and I feel both excited and scared. Or at least I think I do. That is how I interpret those fluttery tummy feelings and it seems like a reasonable response.
    Nauti likes this.


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