We had a guest preacher this morning who spoke on the importance of prayer. Turned out he was a former classmate of mine from high school back in the 1970's. I'm afraid I gave him a rather rough time afterwards. Basically, he started out pretty good by talking about prayer as being vital to establishing a relationship with God. Now, even though I am agnostic, I can somewhat relate to that. But then he fell into the old cliches about how he has seen God answer prayers in amazing ways. Yawn. You know the story, someone is down to their last dime and they get a check in the mail, in this case it was a family that needed a refrigerator and he prayed with them and two days later guess what, someone was moving, didn't need a refrigerator and so they called this family. Or--and this is really what got me going--he talked about praying for his wife who had a trivial health problem, and again--she was cured. Meanwhile I am sitting next to my friend whose cancer has come back for a second time, and the doctors have told her that they can treat it, but it will continue to come back. Her faith is being tested to the utmost. I have watched her try to hide her agony. I have watched her try to hide her fear. CANCER. There is nothing trivial about cancer. And here this guy is up there jabbering about something very minor.
So I called him on it afterwards. I was polite but I pointed out that there was a woman in the congregation that was fighting cancer and to talk about his wife's "problem" was insensitive. That it was actually quite cruel to talk of prayer in such fashion. What happens, I asked, when the refrigerator doesn't get delivered, when the check doesn't arrive, when the disease isn't cured? When the magic--and I actually used that term--doesn't happen the way you promise? Isn't it cruel to raise expectations in such manner? To talk about all the times that "God" says "yes" and not about the times He says "no?" I know I am not the only one to question this. Author Madeleine L'Engle said she had a similar experience when her husband was dying of cancer. All around her everyone was bubbling over with all the wondrous things God had done for them (almost invariably trivial) yet she and her husband were going through an unspeakable ordeal. I said to my former classmate, what must my friend think of such talk? No, she won't say anything, she's not that kind of person, but I will say it for her. Well, he said, that's why I prayed for my wife, to be proactive so that her condition wouldn't get worse. So you mean to imply that my friend did not pray hard enough before her cancer came back? Is that what you are saying? No, no, he said helplessly. Well, that is how it comes across.
As I said, I don't have a problem when people talk about prayer as a conversation with God, but when you start the miracle-talk that is a whole different ball-game. Because then you are raising expectations even as you deny that you are doing so. Isn't the relationship enough? Why do you have to throw in "magic"? Why do you have to promise things in the name of God that may or may not happen? Why don't preachers talk about when God says "no?" Because they, like everyone else, are trying to sell a product. Well, I don't want to hear about miracles. When I have needed something in my life, God does not send a miracle my way, he gives me a boot in the behind and says, go out and work for it.
So when I hear these stories I am a little jealous, but I also suspect that that the people who are telling them are not telling the whole story, and I do not like being lied to in the name of truth.
So I called him on it afterwards. I was polite but I pointed out that there was a woman in the congregation that was fighting cancer and to talk about his wife's "problem" was insensitive. That it was actually quite cruel to talk of prayer in such fashion. What happens, I asked, when the refrigerator doesn't get delivered, when the check doesn't arrive, when the disease isn't cured? When the magic--and I actually used that term--doesn't happen the way you promise? Isn't it cruel to raise expectations in such manner? To talk about all the times that "God" says "yes" and not about the times He says "no?" I know I am not the only one to question this. Author Madeleine L'Engle said she had a similar experience when her husband was dying of cancer. All around her everyone was bubbling over with all the wondrous things God had done for them (almost invariably trivial) yet she and her husband were going through an unspeakable ordeal. I said to my former classmate, what must my friend think of such talk? No, she won't say anything, she's not that kind of person, but I will say it for her. Well, he said, that's why I prayed for my wife, to be proactive so that her condition wouldn't get worse. So you mean to imply that my friend did not pray hard enough before her cancer came back? Is that what you are saying? No, no, he said helplessly. Well, that is how it comes across.
As I said, I don't have a problem when people talk about prayer as a conversation with God, but when you start the miracle-talk that is a whole different ball-game. Because then you are raising expectations even as you deny that you are doing so. Isn't the relationship enough? Why do you have to throw in "magic"? Why do you have to promise things in the name of God that may or may not happen? Why don't preachers talk about when God says "no?" Because they, like everyone else, are trying to sell a product. Well, I don't want to hear about miracles. When I have needed something in my life, God does not send a miracle my way, he gives me a boot in the behind and says, go out and work for it.
So when I hear these stories I am a little jealous, but I also suspect that that the people who are telling them are not telling the whole story, and I do not like being lied to in the name of truth.
