View attachment 3295
As a teenager, it is when I found myself at odds with both my being as a teen, as well as an Aspie. Why can't I be like any other person? I feel that I lived through dark ages with little Aspie support, that has only been given after my teenage years (that is, around 3 years ago).
How Parents Can Help Teens With Asperger Syndrome
Isolation from the rest of my peers
When I was 12 or 13 years old, I went to middle school. My parents decided to send me to a school, which is really far away from my elementary school. I feel unhappy. I will miss a lot of my friends from my previous school. I'd very much rather go to another school nearer to my home, which did say 'sorry, we can't give you the support for your autism', than to go to that school, which the principal did assure to my parents, 'just leave your child to us'.
Fortunately, the principal (and the subsequent appointed principal in the school) did keep with his word.
I went on to a high school, though - my parents just say, oh, in High School you don't need support, aren't you an adult preparing for university? Big mistake. (More to follow later.)
While the rest of my peers seems to have a significant other and a good buddy from elementary school, I don't - my autism doesn't help either. I also know two or three other people who go on from my elementary school to my junior high school, but they were girls and they quickly found other friends. I feel lonely.
I really needed a lot of help and support. I need handholding. But most friends I know somehow do not need that much guidance from other people. I still need a listening ear to hear my problems, and my parents are far too busy for my issues. So in a sense, without a real support network of NT friends, I may never function fully in the mainly NT world. I'm working on working better with NTs, but well, there are some issues I make sure I must not share with NTs. Especially my own autism. This hurts, though.
Then 4 sensible male friends became my friends after lots of 'forced coercion' by my teachers. I am happy that they're my friends. Still, later on, I felt too uncomfortable relating my personal struggles.
As a result, I still live under my own rock, despite my outward personality. I think I seem to struggle with my own personal issues, because I don't think I'd dealt with them adequately when I was a teen, or perhaps, when I was a much younger child.
Not Being A Real Teen
I also faced problem because I don't feel I was a real teen.
I don't shave (though I started shaving fairly recently), I love to wear the same clothes, I don't do sports and I am obsessed with maps.
All these are uncool.
When the world is mapped with GPS even a few years back, when I was a teen, I still spend my pocket money on - well - maps. And the same clothes, too, often T-shirts and boardshorts/boardies.
While others spend their monies on band shirts, plaid shirts, whatever shirts, what had I bought?
Sexual issues and criminality
I find these too touchy. Either I am not really aware what went on, or I am naive enough to fall to the 'wrong' crowd because of peer group pressure.
I feel that these underlie an even more pertinent issue to me: I feel having no control in what I am doing in school.
Failure in School
This is right.
How can I manage my irregular energy levels with what society seems to want from students - get A's, get into university, and get into a plum civil service job? My fixated mind and societal perceptions just won't seem to accept other forms of excellence. The civil service seems to be the only job with stability in my country anyway.
Sometimes, I feel so tired that I don't feel like anything, and I was discouraged to do sports, though I do other activities because they're useful for 'scholarships'.
At others, I feel that going through the motions of attending nine or so different classes is a waste of time. I just want to do this certain Maths sums, and get 100% on it if I just had more time for it. I consider, say, Literature to be a waste of time. And I don't see how can I serve people with Literature, in my fixed frame of mind, because I can surely use scientific models to build a tunnel through the busy downtown in Singapore.
Subsequently, I burned out in honors classes, and I didn't get admission to my country's universities, disappointing my parents. I should have known better myself - slow and steady almost always wins the race, if I'm really good. If not, there are always many other models of excellence, the most notable of them being working as a low-level employee in the private sector. I need not to be my highly successful sisters, who work as doctors or something else...
Depression
As a result of my failure in school, I developed depression, and I'm still recovering from depression currently. However, I do not take medication because of adverse reactions to anti-depressants, such as Fluoxetine.
Fortunately, because of high costs of living in my country, I don't drive and I have no desire to drive. And because of my family's religious beliefs, as they are Buddhists, I don't drink and was discouraged to do drugs. Otherwise, things would be better for me in some ways, but much worse in many others, such as perhaps my life being totally ruined.
As a teenager, it is when I found myself at odds with both my being as a teen, as well as an Aspie. Why can't I be like any other person? I feel that I lived through dark ages with little Aspie support, that has only been given after my teenage years (that is, around 3 years ago).
How Parents Can Help Teens With Asperger Syndrome
Isolation from the rest of my peers
When I was 12 or 13 years old, I went to middle school. My parents decided to send me to a school, which is really far away from my elementary school. I feel unhappy. I will miss a lot of my friends from my previous school. I'd very much rather go to another school nearer to my home, which did say 'sorry, we can't give you the support for your autism', than to go to that school, which the principal did assure to my parents, 'just leave your child to us'.
Fortunately, the principal (and the subsequent appointed principal in the school) did keep with his word.
I went on to a high school, though - my parents just say, oh, in High School you don't need support, aren't you an adult preparing for university? Big mistake. (More to follow later.)
While the rest of my peers seems to have a significant other and a good buddy from elementary school, I don't - my autism doesn't help either. I also know two or three other people who go on from my elementary school to my junior high school, but they were girls and they quickly found other friends. I feel lonely.
I really needed a lot of help and support. I need handholding. But most friends I know somehow do not need that much guidance from other people. I still need a listening ear to hear my problems, and my parents are far too busy for my issues. So in a sense, without a real support network of NT friends, I may never function fully in the mainly NT world. I'm working on working better with NTs, but well, there are some issues I make sure I must not share with NTs. Especially my own autism. This hurts, though.
Then 4 sensible male friends became my friends after lots of 'forced coercion' by my teachers. I am happy that they're my friends. Still, later on, I felt too uncomfortable relating my personal struggles.
As a result, I still live under my own rock, despite my outward personality. I think I seem to struggle with my own personal issues, because I don't think I'd dealt with them adequately when I was a teen, or perhaps, when I was a much younger child.
Not Being A Real Teen
I also faced problem because I don't feel I was a real teen.
I don't shave (though I started shaving fairly recently), I love to wear the same clothes, I don't do sports and I am obsessed with maps.
All these are uncool.
When the world is mapped with GPS even a few years back, when I was a teen, I still spend my pocket money on - well - maps. And the same clothes, too, often T-shirts and boardshorts/boardies.
While others spend their monies on band shirts, plaid shirts, whatever shirts, what had I bought?
Sexual issues and criminality
I find these too touchy. Either I am not really aware what went on, or I am naive enough to fall to the 'wrong' crowd because of peer group pressure.
I feel that these underlie an even more pertinent issue to me: I feel having no control in what I am doing in school.
Failure in School
This is right.
How can I manage my irregular energy levels with what society seems to want from students - get A's, get into university, and get into a plum civil service job? My fixated mind and societal perceptions just won't seem to accept other forms of excellence. The civil service seems to be the only job with stability in my country anyway.
Sometimes, I feel so tired that I don't feel like anything, and I was discouraged to do sports, though I do other activities because they're useful for 'scholarships'.
At others, I feel that going through the motions of attending nine or so different classes is a waste of time. I just want to do this certain Maths sums, and get 100% on it if I just had more time for it. I consider, say, Literature to be a waste of time. And I don't see how can I serve people with Literature, in my fixed frame of mind, because I can surely use scientific models to build a tunnel through the busy downtown in Singapore.
Subsequently, I burned out in honors classes, and I didn't get admission to my country's universities, disappointing my parents. I should have known better myself - slow and steady almost always wins the race, if I'm really good. If not, there are always many other models of excellence, the most notable of them being working as a low-level employee in the private sector. I need not to be my highly successful sisters, who work as doctors or something else...
Depression
As a result of my failure in school, I developed depression, and I'm still recovering from depression currently. However, I do not take medication because of adverse reactions to anti-depressants, such as Fluoxetine.
Fortunately, because of high costs of living in my country, I don't drive and I have no desire to drive. And because of my family's religious beliefs, as they are Buddhists, I don't drink and was discouraged to do drugs. Otherwise, things would be better for me in some ways, but much worse in many others, such as perhaps my life being totally ruined.