I am a person who likes to keep my word towards others. If I say to someone I will do something for them I do it.
Well, today I broke my word for the first time in my life as long as I can remember.
Yesterday someone asked me to do something and as most of the times I said yes. Well it was not good because I was super busy and tired and the stress made me do some mistakes.
In the end I was feeling super down about everything. I was mostly angry with myself for not respecting myself, my limits, my feelings...I am not a nice person to myself.
Today I said No to something that I had committed that I would do.
I see people doing this all the time and I always thought it was not a nice thing to do but who knows what is going on with the person? Sometimes they are lazy but maybe sometimes they are respecting themselves even if it means not keeping their word.
Sometimes saying no is the best thing to do.
In my case today maybe it is that I am afraid because of yesterday's bad experience or maybe it means that I learned a good lesson.
I believe that if a person does something it should be with their hole heart and focus with Love and without doubts, it should be compatible with who they are, with their essence, but what I did all my life was the opposite: I always forced myself to do things that were difficult and against my nature because I always saw myself as weak and therefore I had to toughen up. I see now how wrong that was.
I created someone who does not exist.
And the masks are falling down.
Today is MahaShivaratri. The great night of Shiva the Destroyer.
The Destroyer of Maya/illusion
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