So, apparently I like to ramble a bit about employment and such, and this is no different.
A few thoughts resonate in my mind for the last few weeks. And some stuff actually was stuff I read on this forum. It wasn't a problem as such, that I felt miserable for it... to me it's data, to help me form an opinion, assess the situation, look back in the past, stuff like that.
I once read a post that stated that ASD is becoming more and more prevalent nowadays. And that this is becoming a problem in terms of employment. People are on disability when they can't our shouldn't be, because they're not that dysfunctional.
Well, in a way, yes I think that is correct. But then I have this funny theory that I'm only as dysfunctional as you want me to be. The prime example would be, in my personal experience, getting fired because I wasn't social enough. The job application didn't state that I had to be "social" nor that I had to engage in smalltalk, nor that I had to be a happy, cheerful person (and add in that my interests were way different from those of co-workers, you can imagine that talk of last nights game was clunky to the point that I did not have a clue there even was a game). That in fact, was one of the reasons I was let go after 1,5 years. They didn't want to put people "like that" under contract.
So in effect, I was being fired because I didn't fit a bunch of unwritten job requirements in the long run.
Now, let's put it differently. I was in talks with my therapist (and I might have adressed this issue earlier; even a few times). That conversation came down to this;
You might be a good person as a nightwatchman or security guard. Or even someone at the reception area for a firm.
"Oh, sure, I don't think I would mind it"
But let's assess it. What do you think job requirements would be, besides having the degree/papers to get the job?
"Well, for one I think you should be aware that there's time, schedules, rules and practices, that come with the job.. but apparently you learned those in school, otherwise you don't have the papers and you can't apply".
Besides that? Anything else? How about "being friendly"?
"Well, can you define friendly?"
...
"I mean obviously, if it's that important that you have to put it on an application form, you're emphasizing it, thus it is important. How can something be important if it has no definition?"
That it... I'm done... I have no clue how I'm going to tackle people like this (and threw down his pen & notepad)
It just makes me wonder, that by pointing out things that are not really definable in a general social context (cause obviously, the way I talk to my friends is different then the one I talk to at the police station for example... even if it includes slang or "strong language"). There's a really weird pedantic situation going on with how someone like me (and I like to emphasize "like me" and not throwing the entire ASD community under the bus, cause I know we're not all like that)... and add in that my brain processes these things this way in a near philosophical questionaire about language and the meaning of things in the most generic social situation possible, we do have a problem. It has a bit to do with not understanding social cues... to the extreme.
So, why am I going this "defintion" route? Obviously, there's something inherently "weird" if you create social situations where you expect people to not think about words used and hope it's foolproof. Some people just need to wake up and remember, nothing is foolrproof. Someday someone will come by and point it out... I just hate it to be me that often.
Also, with my first example; I did my job right, I was aware of rules and procedures. Then at some point comes the situation where my supervisor is like "meh, screw those rules" and he tells us that the normal procedures are off. I've seen quality control get scrapped in departments of multinationals of medical equipment... that just doesn't feel right to me. Then, add in someone who can do his job perfectly fine according to procedures and expect him to change just as fluidly and adapt just as easy as everyone else. That's how you point out where faults lie within people. Add in someone (again) like me, that if he has to do something that is under supervision (aka work) please, do not leave it up to "just do something, but do it good". If you expect me to have results, then yes, I need rules (and preferebly rules that make sense or these rules don't stick no matter how hard I try).
Talking to my parents, I told them how it was on jobs nowadays. Obviously, it's different from when they had jobs. Back then you just had to show up and work hard. Now it's a social circus where smiles and "fitting in" are like the extra shift during your job. If you fail to comply you're out and you're weird. And that's a big problem that comes with ASD I think. And such social dynamics are a really grey area cause those terms are so vague.
Further back in the past; Add in a bit of that requirement to fit in at university and you're not getting anything "done".
In hindsight I know, that the courses I took (both Journalism & Computer science) were a bad match for me, especially now that some stuff is more clear about me now regarding Asperger's. Mind you, I'm not blaming it, but I just know that some things are just not a good match, especially if you add in social pressure of "well, you have to get a degree in something" (actually it's national "law" that you are required to get a degree in something cause otherwise you cannot file for unemployment benefits; so it's forced upon you to just like something enough).
I mean, I can write a decent article (and I got some decent credit for it at university by teacher all over the institute) but there's a big social aspect, that comes with being a journalist, and that does not work for me. I even was being told that I shouldn't at that "weird". I had a weird look on my face all the time, that didn't come across as friendly and caring. Yes I might have fixed that, but that might need some counseling, therapy and all of that, just to get sorted out why it is I am like I am. But keep in mind I need to have that sorted out before I start in school, not during, where you're not allowed to fail.
And looking at computer science; yes I can program, no I cannot work in groups, yet that is an inherent part of the project nowadays so it seems. Again I could work in groups, but that's something I might have to learn, before I'm being forced into teaming up. Also, even if you take therapy, it usually takes a few bad people in a team to mess up the things you worked so hard on to improve. Yes, I told my counselor I am suspecting Aspergers (or autism at least) on my part as a self-diagnosis. To where she told me "yeah so? you just have to mix in with the other people, if you get your degree companies will not put up with you needing special treatment". Yeah, she was right, I know companies in general won't, unless you're really, really special and skilled. But taken I was enrolling in computer science for the same reason as journalism... just because I need a degree, dropped out. It has nothing to do with giving up hopes and dreams... it has to do with not even having hopes and dreams to begin with, but being forced to have them.
A few thoughts resonate in my mind for the last few weeks. And some stuff actually was stuff I read on this forum. It wasn't a problem as such, that I felt miserable for it... to me it's data, to help me form an opinion, assess the situation, look back in the past, stuff like that.
I once read a post that stated that ASD is becoming more and more prevalent nowadays. And that this is becoming a problem in terms of employment. People are on disability when they can't our shouldn't be, because they're not that dysfunctional.
Well, in a way, yes I think that is correct. But then I have this funny theory that I'm only as dysfunctional as you want me to be. The prime example would be, in my personal experience, getting fired because I wasn't social enough. The job application didn't state that I had to be "social" nor that I had to engage in smalltalk, nor that I had to be a happy, cheerful person (and add in that my interests were way different from those of co-workers, you can imagine that talk of last nights game was clunky to the point that I did not have a clue there even was a game). That in fact, was one of the reasons I was let go after 1,5 years. They didn't want to put people "like that" under contract.
So in effect, I was being fired because I didn't fit a bunch of unwritten job requirements in the long run.
Now, let's put it differently. I was in talks with my therapist (and I might have adressed this issue earlier; even a few times). That conversation came down to this;
You might be a good person as a nightwatchman or security guard. Or even someone at the reception area for a firm.
"Oh, sure, I don't think I would mind it"
But let's assess it. What do you think job requirements would be, besides having the degree/papers to get the job?
"Well, for one I think you should be aware that there's time, schedules, rules and practices, that come with the job.. but apparently you learned those in school, otherwise you don't have the papers and you can't apply".
Besides that? Anything else? How about "being friendly"?
"Well, can you define friendly?"
...
"I mean obviously, if it's that important that you have to put it on an application form, you're emphasizing it, thus it is important. How can something be important if it has no definition?"
That it... I'm done... I have no clue how I'm going to tackle people like this (and threw down his pen & notepad)
It just makes me wonder, that by pointing out things that are not really definable in a general social context (cause obviously, the way I talk to my friends is different then the one I talk to at the police station for example... even if it includes slang or "strong language"). There's a really weird pedantic situation going on with how someone like me (and I like to emphasize "like me" and not throwing the entire ASD community under the bus, cause I know we're not all like that)... and add in that my brain processes these things this way in a near philosophical questionaire about language and the meaning of things in the most generic social situation possible, we do have a problem. It has a bit to do with not understanding social cues... to the extreme.
So, why am I going this "defintion" route? Obviously, there's something inherently "weird" if you create social situations where you expect people to not think about words used and hope it's foolproof. Some people just need to wake up and remember, nothing is foolrproof. Someday someone will come by and point it out... I just hate it to be me that often.
Also, with my first example; I did my job right, I was aware of rules and procedures. Then at some point comes the situation where my supervisor is like "meh, screw those rules" and he tells us that the normal procedures are off. I've seen quality control get scrapped in departments of multinationals of medical equipment... that just doesn't feel right to me. Then, add in someone who can do his job perfectly fine according to procedures and expect him to change just as fluidly and adapt just as easy as everyone else. That's how you point out where faults lie within people. Add in someone (again) like me, that if he has to do something that is under supervision (aka work) please, do not leave it up to "just do something, but do it good". If you expect me to have results, then yes, I need rules (and preferebly rules that make sense or these rules don't stick no matter how hard I try).
Talking to my parents, I told them how it was on jobs nowadays. Obviously, it's different from when they had jobs. Back then you just had to show up and work hard. Now it's a social circus where smiles and "fitting in" are like the extra shift during your job. If you fail to comply you're out and you're weird. And that's a big problem that comes with ASD I think. And such social dynamics are a really grey area cause those terms are so vague.
Further back in the past; Add in a bit of that requirement to fit in at university and you're not getting anything "done".
In hindsight I know, that the courses I took (both Journalism & Computer science) were a bad match for me, especially now that some stuff is more clear about me now regarding Asperger's. Mind you, I'm not blaming it, but I just know that some things are just not a good match, especially if you add in social pressure of "well, you have to get a degree in something" (actually it's national "law" that you are required to get a degree in something cause otherwise you cannot file for unemployment benefits; so it's forced upon you to just like something enough).
I mean, I can write a decent article (and I got some decent credit for it at university by teacher all over the institute) but there's a big social aspect, that comes with being a journalist, and that does not work for me. I even was being told that I shouldn't at that "weird". I had a weird look on my face all the time, that didn't come across as friendly and caring. Yes I might have fixed that, but that might need some counseling, therapy and all of that, just to get sorted out why it is I am like I am. But keep in mind I need to have that sorted out before I start in school, not during, where you're not allowed to fail.
And looking at computer science; yes I can program, no I cannot work in groups, yet that is an inherent part of the project nowadays so it seems. Again I could work in groups, but that's something I might have to learn, before I'm being forced into teaming up. Also, even if you take therapy, it usually takes a few bad people in a team to mess up the things you worked so hard on to improve. Yes, I told my counselor I am suspecting Aspergers (or autism at least) on my part as a self-diagnosis. To where she told me "yeah so? you just have to mix in with the other people, if you get your degree companies will not put up with you needing special treatment". Yeah, she was right, I know companies in general won't, unless you're really, really special and skilled. But taken I was enrolling in computer science for the same reason as journalism... just because I need a degree, dropped out. It has nothing to do with giving up hopes and dreams... it has to do with not even having hopes and dreams to begin with, but being forced to have them.
