My life has been pretty normal I went to a public school near my home town where I was quite literally "born and raised". However I've always been a weird kid and I never really knew why. Now I think I have found the answer but I'd like to post it on here to get a little closure i guess, also just to put into words all the thoughts I have when im left alone. In classes I am (in my opinion fairly good) especially at maths and physics, and oddly history however I struggle to write the essays I just retain most of the info im given which makes me good at reciting facts to the teacher. Im currently doing A-levels (Maths, Further Maths, Physics and History) I hope to one day to work in a field of physics that interests me (I do have a vauge idea)
The main reason I have started this blog is so that I can get a little unofficial advise as I dont think its possible to get any official advise.
There was a time when I just thought I was a weird kid without any suspicions of Autism/ Aspergers however I was being sent to a small tutoring service to try to boost my grades at GCSEs when I was changed teacher for one lesson because my normal teacher was doing something I cant remember. He was a friendly guy and the stuff he was giving me was too easy and obviously didnt know what I needed to know, but I enjoyed the lesson because he was funny. During the lesson I think he clocked me. He started bringing up Aspergers, and it was a good conversation for me because I felt like I could trust this guy because he was predicting many parts of my personality after knowing me for 20 minutes. Basically he thought that I had Aspergers. For the rest of that day my brain was focused on it (and not going to lie I think about it a lot even now), facinated by this I brought it up to my dad and he got annoyed saying "who does he think he is" obviously with the advantage of retrospect he was annoyed that the guy was trying to give me a diagnosis when he was supposed to be teaching me maths but after that I've felt like I cant bring it up to him anymore (this was maybe when I was 13 and im 16 now). As I couldnt tell my dad I felt like I had to think about it myself because as much as I love her I dont feel like I can talk to her about this. After a few years of thinking about it myself I brought it up to my nan (who I love and trust lots) whilst I was staying with her for a week without my parents or my sister. I told her everything I just mentioned and the conclusion I had come to, she then told me something about my family which I had never even heard mentioned before. She called it the "family ism" according to her we all have elements of it, we struggle at social interactions and we are all of above average intelligence, we all have little quirks that make us a little odd. She even told me some of her own experiences with it. One of my uncles was the most affected by it and he still struggles now with fairly basic thing but he is also quite functional, non of us have any severe autistic traits.
My nan also mentioned something about my dad and how he struggled to accept that there was something different about my uncle despite him , as my nan says, having the "ism" too.
After this I got to the conclusion that the conversation would be too awkward and im not going to lie I am scared to do it as I dont know what his reaction would be.
That might be a bit of a ramble but I'll leave it as it is and hope that people can decifer my bad writing skills
That is why I decided to start this blog and I hope you guys can help me out just a little.
Thanks for reading my ramble.
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