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Incoherent Rambling 2

I am so scared to drive alone without my parents. I don't know the roads well even the ones near my home. I somehow never noticed which road goes which direction.

Honestly even neurotypical people have so much trouble navigating traffic here. It's horrible. Even when i work it seems i will have to use public transport. There are so many problems wth me working in general now it seems impossible.
I am 30 and i have only 1 year of experience. I don't even know if i could have done better in my life or if it was just not meant to happen. I wish there was someone like me around me. I am tired of seeing people who own their own businesses, married and have children.
They might as well from another planet.

I wish someone would explain my life to me and why certain things happened. Why some people loved me, why others were disgusted. The people who claimed to love me seem lame and disgusting. I only need a sense of comradeship not love. Similar experiences, similar happiness and sadness.

Anyway, i am usually so confused by the world and life in general. I believe in God but don't understand him sometimes. I just wish i could understand the reason behind everything that happened to me someday. If it's meant to be.


It gets easier sometimes. As you get older it gets better in some ways. There will be good friends, someday. Its normal to be confused, most of us are. Doing art and writing about the past and what you recall can help put it in perspective. None of the stuff that freaked me out at 30 is even on my radar now.
Wishing you all good things
I have absolutely no sense of direction and driving more than a block from my home scares me .

Then my daughter in law told me to download Apple Maps or maybe it was already on my iPhone. It is significantly better than Google Maps in my opinion.

My Apple Maps GPS has a British female voice that tells me where to go and turn and what lane to get in etc. That is plus the map showing the route and the road numbers.

i can drive from the Poconos in Pennsylvania to Sparta, New Jersey to my Sons house with no fear because of the Apple Maps GPS system.

You might consider giving it a try

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