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I will be quitting the rat race in 2022

By Raggamuffin · Dec 29, 2021 · ·
  1. Made a fair few audio recordings in recent weeks. Uploaded one last week on a rather profound day, where my parents agreed that this job is a very bad fit for me, and told me they supported me quitting this job and going full time with my art/photography.

    Initially I'd felt like a weight had been lifted. No more worrying about staying in a job I hated. Or looking for a house in the city where I worked, to stay in a job I hated etc. After a day or so, the inner-critic and self-doubt began to arise, and got stronger and stronger. In the end I started to think back to when I quit my first job. I'd been there nearly 10 years, got a great redundancy pay out and intended to go full time with my art & photography. But, my mental health was at a very bad point. It was the early years of anxiety, 24/7 aches and pains. The early years of abusing alcohol, and my anxiety got to a point where I was having panic attacks and debilitating symptoms whenever I left the house.

    It's been over 5 years since then, and I know a lot has changed and various aspects have improved - especially with regards to the agoraphobia. I'm under no illusion that various aspects of doing art full time will involve situations that will provoke anxiety. Weekends at art & craft fairs, travelling all over the country. Talking to hundreds of strangers. Trying to be the salesman and promote my work etc. I'll have to be quite extrovert, and yet I know that this is only part of the process. A lot of time will be spent in my own company - doing my art, going on walks and exploring the country with my camera. As well as time spent editing photos on Photoshop, printed, mounting and framing work etc. As well as managing my website and FB business page.

    This new therapist I'm seeing is good, and she is confident that many fantastic things lie ahead in my future. She believes I will make it, and said it's good that I know what I want to do with my life. She also said that these past traumas and the inner critic will be holding me back from trying my all with regards to fulfilling my dream. But she assures me that this inner critic and past traumas will be addressed in future sessions.

    January is a big month for dental work. Then I want to spend a few months saving up money as quick as possible. Buying materials etc I'll need for doing art & craft fairs etc. Probably looking to quit my job in spring or early summer. Obviously I'll have a clearer sense of when is best to quit by how therapy and other aspects of life are going.

    I've never had well paid jobs, so it's not unreasonable to hope to earn more than I have done in my previous jobs from what I create. So long as I put in the time and effort and approach this with a positive frame of mind whenever possible. At the end of the day - working 5 days a week, putting in 9 hours into all of the above will result in regular sales.

    This should also naturally lead to networking, meeting new people, and a lot more people who are creative and on a similar wavelength to myself. Feels like this will hopefully improve my mental health if I can find likeminded and creative types. I'm under no illusion that initially these busy art & craft fairs and travelling hitherto and yon might increase anxiety. But, much like when I overcame my agoraphobia - exposure therapy of sorts will certainly go a long way to improving how I feel.

    Picked up this evening. Cali Kush. Never heard of it, but from what I read it seems good/rare. So why not enjoy that over the next couple of months? I still hate the process of picking up. But, I only have to do it 3 or 4 times a year, so it's not a huge issue.


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  1. Aneka
    Will you be self-employed?
    Good luck to you. May your dream come true!
      Raggamuffin likes this.
    1. Raggamuffin
      It will be self employed. Primarily relying on art and craft fairs for income. Means no days off on the weekend, which suits me. But it'll be a lot of work, and travelling. Meeting lots of new people etc. Won't be easy, but as with anything - the more time and effort I put in, the more it'll grow.
      Aneka likes this.
    2. Aneka
      You got me curious now. What do you do exactly? Professional photography?