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How does this keep getting better?

I think I might have smiled more yesterday than on any day in living memory. Quite a spectacular feeling.

The morning and early afternoon was productive - with printing, framing, recycling, going to the recycling centre, unpacking bulk bought frames etc. Around 2 Meg popped over. We had a chat with my folks for a while, and they asked how her fishing trip with her dad went. We also discussed bits about foraging.

When we went to my room we relaxed on the bed and watched an episode of a show whilst cuddled up. I gave her a back rub. She's been teaching me techniques that she knows, and I seem to be picking it up quite quickly. I'll be honest - it feels nice to massage her. An intimate moment, but it's also a learning experience, and I'm getting to know her body on another level. It's also nice that she gives feedback on areas to work on, along with occasional pleasurable moans when I'm working on the right spot on her back or shoulders.

We took Lucky out for a walk when he was getting a bit restless. Not long after leaving the house, Meg held my hand as we walked down the street. I'd been waiting for this moment - and it really did feel special. I showed her a route that I like to go on, which leads off the main road in the village, down a slightly overgrown pathway and into some horse fields. The track skirts the edges of various fields and ends up at the far end of one of the graveyards in the village. Along the way she pointed out lots of fruit trees - cherry plums in 3 colour variations, Damsons, elderberries and blackberries. We ended up foraging - me using my flat cap to hold them, and Meg used her hoodie. We spent a good half hour or so, and ended up with a considerable haul.

She suggested we could make a crumble, and my face lit up. I was excited to say the least. I love desserts, but I also want to learn more about cooking, and Meg had previously said that she'd be happy to teach me.

Earlier in the day I suggested perhaps we drive to March and go for Thai food. When we got back from our walk we put the fruit into bowls. It was a heck of a lot of fruit and it filled 2 normal bowls and one large bowl. It was lovely to see, and I was shocked how many of these trees and fruits I'd seen before on walks, but never knew they were edible. I was smiling a lot during our walk - it was a lovely time.

Meg had a shower when we got back upstairs and then one thing led to another. Once again - it's pretty spectacular how our connection is when it comes to physical intimacy. It had been quite a muggy afternoon weather wise, and Meg was quite self conscious about sweating. She apologised a lot - but I tried to tell her that I didn't mind. Truthfully, I didn't. It's just how she is, and I don't find it offputting. Not going to lie - I think it adds to the feeling of passion in the moment of love making. But I understand that when you feel self-conscious or embaressed it can be difficult to believe or consider to differing opinions. Honestly though, Meg humbles me - she's such a lovely person.

After we'd had chance to cuddle and calm down - we got ready to go to March. Meg dropped Lucky off at home and then we headed out. The weather was a lot cooler, so much so that we could wear knitted jumpers - which felt really comfy after the recent hot weather we'd been getting. Kept finding myself smiling and laughing with happiness during the drive to March. The smiles and laughter had kept coming in waves throughout the day with Meg.

The food was amazing, although my jungle curry had a soup like consistency and was quite spicy. Normally I have spicy food with quite a thick sauce, but with a soup - it was getting the back of my throat and that was making it contract from the spiciness and a few times it had me coughing, then tears, runny nose and feeling very warm. Eventually it got the better of me and I only managed about a third of the bowl. Nausea and a bit of discomfort had set in, but we had a lovely time regardless.

Found out that 3 of her 4 A levels that she studied in college were the same as mine. Another tick which made both our faces beam with big smiles.

On the drive back we stopped by the supermarket to pick up butter and custard for the crumble. I've heard my parents and others say butter and other bits are super expensive at the moment, but I looked and I couldn't see any brands that were outrageously overpriced - so once again, I couldn't really relate to supposed current events and things that people got upset over on the news etc. Holding her hand throughout our venture into the supermarket made me smile a lot too. I kinda hoped I'd bump into someone I recognised from March. Mind you - I only ever really got to know a handful of people there, and even when I lived in March I didn't bump into them all that much.

The drive home was nearing twilight, and I felt really relaxed. Intimacy continued with holding each others hand, or resting my hand on her thigh. It's little things like this which really do make me a very happy chappy.

Once we got back, we set out making the crumble. It ended up with so much fruit in there. We spent a fair amount of time de-stoning plums and then making the crumble mixture. I didn't realise how much butter and sugar goes into it. No wonder it tastes so fabulous.

After we'd put the crumble in the oven, we went out into the garden. It was night time by this point, and we sat in the swinging seat.

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It's almost identical to this - althought the cushions have been kept in the shed each time we've sat on it. But it's still really comfy. Meg lay in my lap as I gently rocked us to and fro and stroked her hair. I was beaming once again with smile after smile. Can't recall having been so content before. I can understand why I'm falling for her. Yet I'm a little hesitant to say it yet. Not to say I don't feel it, because I do. I think it's just my brain going by past experiences - where love always eluded me, and felt rather hollow once I'd said it to someone. Hence there's some hesitation at present. But these feelings continue to grow, as does our connection. I don't think there's any reason to doubt that this is love - because it sure feels like it to me.

We got up a couple of times to check the crumble, and then we sat back outside and had hot crumble with cold custard. Meg felt it needed more sugar. Personally, I found it perfect. The right level of tartness and sweetness. Unfortunately I still was a little nauseous from the spicy food earlier. In fact I had to pour myself a couple of glasses of milk when we were prepping the fruit and crumble topping - just to help settle down my stomach.

Afterwards, we headed to hers and spent the night in her van. We watched another couple of episodes of the comedy show Green Wing and she gave me a back rub. She'd mentioned earlier feeling awkward in me offering a back rub and wanted to return the favour. I get it - I like to be the helpful person, and so when someone is offering something, I feel compulsively that I need to return the favour, or do something extra nice for them.

In truth, I offered the back rub because I enjoyed doing it and I was eager to learn more. So much so, that after she gave me a back rub in the van, I gave her a second one of the day. It was a long massage as well and lasted over an hour. Perhaps it was because we'd had a little smoke - but I felt such a connection with her during that massage. I was learning the contours of her back and shoulders, and it was clear from her moans that my technique was improving. When I stopped she said that she was almost falling asleep. The massage earlier in the day she said left her feeling a little spacey. So afterward this massage was done, we curled up to go to bed.

It took a little while to nod off, but in all honestly I slept better than I have done before in the van. Meg was a little hesitant when I suggested we spend the night in the van, and offered to go back to mine to sleep in the bed. But I said I knew eventually I'd sleep easily in the van, it'll just take some practice as it's a very different environment than what I'm used to. As a kid and teenager I used to struggle whenever I slept away from home - whether a sleep over at a friends or on holiday - it was the only time I really suffered with any degree of insomnia. But last night I got about 5 hours sleep, and it took less than 40 minutes to get to sleep. In my book - this is a clear improvement.

In the morning we made love again. The term "make love" sounds a little corny, and yet - our connection makes the term feel rather apt. Where we were parked meant subtlety was key. Boy did that turn out to be a good move. Afterwards, we were both rather shocked - and I said "how does this keep getting better?"

Our similarities and synergy really are on another level. No wonder I've fallen for her. This is the realest relationship I've ever had. I'm comfortable being myself, and at ease opening up to her.

We took Lucky for a walk in the morning and then went our separate ways. Today I'm doing more printing and getting stuff ready for my first craft fair on Sunday. Meg has a busy few weeks ahead. She told me her schedule yesterday in the Thai food place. I must admit I knew she was a free-spirited and active person, but her timetable sounded rather chocka-block to me. She was perceptive enough to tell me not to worry though, and that of course inbetween times she wanted to see me and spend time together. I was thankful that she could read that from my body language. Between the spicy curry, all the symptoms associated with hot food, and the building nausea - I was struggling a bit to process her plans for the upcoming weeks. But she got me - and she reminded me of what I knew, but that I'd failed to grasp in the moment due to a bit of overwhelm from my symptoms. Besides, we know who we are, and how we are. "Me time" is a good thing - and it continues to allow me to distance myself from old habits of codependency in previous relationships.

Meg invited me to go to Cambridge with her and meet a friend of her's on Thursday. I'm looking forward to it, this'll be the first of her friends that I've met, and I know that she's been keen to introduce me to friends of hers. It's one pattern I've noticed in recent years - I'm doing a lot better with socialising and meeting new people. Whilst I'm still quite an introvert, I don't seem to be painfully shy and quiet like I used to be. So that's another step in the right direction.

Got home and had crumble for breakfast. Between that and this mornings incredible love making - I feel really smitten. Need a coffee now though, yes sir.

Ed

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