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Giving up

By phantom · Sep 18, 2021 · ·
  1. For the past 2 years i have been seriously concerned and obsessed about my inability to forge lasting friendships and romantic relationships, but last week i have decided to give up and get back into my old life, get back into the buble and spend all my time studying and my hobby's. I need to for my mental health. I used have one or two friends I'd talk to a couple times a month, i hope I can atleast get something similar back. Very Intemate relationships with people aren't for me, there is a certain limit of how much i can connect with someone and, i will never get around that limit. I am generally very poor at verbalizing my thoughts, it feels like so much of what want to say is permanently stuck in my head, and i can't put it to words no matter how much i try. Reminds me of "i have no mouth and i must scream", i wish I was one of the highly verbal and articulate aspies, and not the pattern and math type of asd.

Comments

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  1. Tido
    P/2 Who are you and who do you truly want to be? Start being that person, little baby steps at a time. If you’re really struggling to be that person then it could be that it isn’t who you truly are inside and it’s time to ask yourself that question again. Don’t worry about having intimate relationships with others yet, start with beginning an intimate relationship with yourself. It sounds like you’re on that road because you are putting your mental health first, so keep going if you want, keep looking after yourself and getting to know how you work. Accepting who you are and being that person will naturally attract people who like that sort of person. You will probably have a hard time making lasting friendships if you aren’t being yourself within that friendship, so take some time out for you. It’s okay to do so, you don’t have to feel constricted in a bubble, make friends with your bubble and know it’s there to protect you at the moment, and it’s only a pop away if you ever feel adventurous again. Whatever you choose to do is okay, you don’t need to judge your choices especially if they are made with your health and wellbeing at heart. Lots of love to you.
  2. Tido
    P/1 Your thoughts are completely coherent to me, but I understand what it’s like to feel like you’re not getting across what you are trying to, especially via verbal communication. Your “bubble” doesn’t have to be seen as a bad thing or a weakness, if you have decided to be yourself and spend your time doing what you want, then that bubble is a strength. You know your limits so you can choose to work around them, or push through them a little further. It doesn’t matter which you choose, there is such a drive to push further out there but life doesn’t need to be like that. You get to choose however you want to approach life and if that is by remaining in what you know and are comfortable with, that is no better or worse than constantly going out of your comfort zone. It all depends on where you say you want to be and go, if you want to be a person with heaps of friends then not doing anything about making friends probably won’t get you there. If you want to be a person who doesn’t mind what company you have, then not doing anything about making friends doesn’t really matter.