On my lunch break on Tuesday as I'm walking to the park to sit by the lake, a man on an electric scooter with his hoodie up approaches me and asks if I smoke, and then if I smoked weed. He queried how much I buy it for, then claimed he'd sell it for cheaper. Strange turn of events - that I started smoking months back and was worried I wouldn't have many contacts. Now I have more contacts than I've ever had at any point in my 17 odd years with weed.
On Tuesday after work I went staffing up the rec whilst I waited for Max to drop off bud. It was really windy and there were some very impressive cloud formations. He was running a bit late, but he met me down one end of the park and I asked if he could give me a lift round the park to the car park as it looked a little less suspect than how people seem to exchange money and such like with the window down and the person stood by them. It always looked shady and rather obvious to me.
He rolled up in a BMW with tinted windows and custom rims - rather an obvious choice for a drug dealer in my opinion. The interior had plush leather seats though and a caramel colour interior. The car absolutely stunk of weed and he was smoking a joint. Subtle this was not. He sped off and dropped me off a few moments later.
When I got home I was getting ready to go outside and grind up the weed and put it away in my mason jar. When I went into the conservatory my mum confronted me (third time in 6 weeks). She asked me if weed was illegal. This was such an odd question, as surely it's an easy thing to Google? When I said yes, I could see the panic and disappointment set in. The atmosphere became very heavy and charged.
She told me that she'd read about parents who "lost their children to cannabis". I had to enquire about this statement as I was dumbstruck with how melodramatic and incorrect this appeared. But yes, my mum believes children have been killed by cannabis. She then went on a tirade saying "I don't want panic attacks over this" and "I don't want the house to be raided by the police".
Once again, I tried to calm her down, but she's one of those anti-drug types who never tried drugs. She rather scornfully asked me "why were you a sheep?" when she asked me when I first tried it. I said I was inquisitive. She again blamed all my mental health issues on cannabis, even though they had started long before I ever smoked.
I pointed out her catastrophic thinking and hinted at perhaps that atmosphere and upbringing might've been a contributing factor in how I constantly have catastrophic thoughts. She pooh-poohed that idea as being ridiculous and claimed she never let her worries show. Truth is, in recent weeks I can tell within seconds if she isn't her normal self. It's an atmosphere and energy that she gives off that I'm highly sensitive to. I pick it up around people all the time.
That evening I sent her a long email. I sent some links to show unbiased facts of cannabis - both the pros and the cons. I emphasised that I've been using it 17 years and have never been caught. Not to say that I wouldn't ever be caught, but I am careful with my use. I also tried to reassure her that police raids are for dealers and people who are growing lots of plants in order to sell large quantities of cannabis and make thousands in profit. I attempted to paint a more realistic picture of cannabis, and how, even though it remains a class B in the UK - the police have become a lot more lenient. I also informed her about the police backed Cancard scheme for those suffering conditions where cannabis has proven to be of medicinal value.
On Wednesday when I get home I notice my mum's mood is very positive. We spent 2 hours chatting in depth about all sorts. She asked if I'd like to go to a spiritualist evening that her and my sister in law regularly attend. I wasn't sure at the time, but I text her later that evening to say I'd go. It was nice chatting with my parents though.
I haven't smoked all week. I decided it needs to go back to weekend only, and my chat with my mum on Tuesday highlighted that fact. I had been getting a little reckless with how I'd been smoking weed. So I need to step up my game in terms of when and where it's done. Caution is the best way forward in that regard.
I got confirmation of my Cancard being sent and should be delivered within 2 weeks. Not that I ever go out with more than 1 or 2 pre-rolled joints. So even if I did get stopped, it wouldn't be a huge issue with the police. I don't really see the point of carrying a lot with you. It just seems to mean you smoke more, and possibly do it more socially which draws unnecessary attention I find.
Hoping next week is when we get the exchange of contracts and closing date on the house. All that's needed is the buyer's solicitor to receive their signed copy of the new mortgage offer. Estate agent re-assured me that we're "basically there now". Still, it did mean paying for another month of mortgage, energy bills, home insurance and council tax.
Today was my second part of the root canal...
Turns out they use a type of bleach to clean the tooth during a root canal. And some ran down my throat. Burn baby burn! I sit bolt upright and start gagging and wretching. Dentist shouting at me "Don't swallow it!"
Rinsed my mouth out 7 times with water. You feel like a mongaloid with a numb mouth, unable to spit properly. Then I get given a glass of milk? Thanks babe.
A 2 hour session is wonderful - would recommend on Trip Adviser.
Crown prep in October. I dread to think what machine is used to skim off a few mm of your tooth. Probably something made by Black & Decker.
Having a gold crown fitted in November. Oh yes, my coronation is here. Welcome to Royalty.
Asides from that, well I'm going to meet Jack tonight for our Friday night McDonald's. We didn't go 2 weeks ago because when we got there we saw that it was far too busy. Then we tried again on the Saturday and that's when my root canal tooth started to get those painful flare ups. At least I have a permanent filling in there now. I'm still going to be cautious with what I eat. 4 week wait until my crown prep begins. Only a 90 min appointment which is fine.
Won't have spare money until 2022 now. Means more delays on prep for art n craft fairs. Dental costs until November and then Christmas present costs etc. As such I'm going to query when I can be put on the SLK insurance. My folks mentioned it again the other day when we had dinner. It'd be a nice thing to enjoy, especially as I'll have no spare money to really get myself anything. I'm going to have to scrape by for the forseeable future with my money. Also still got that £1200 phone to pay off too. Joy of joys. That can be done within 6 months so it's interest free credit. Easy peasy.
Went to the spiritualist evening with mum and my sister in law last night. I drove there. A lot of the people were very friendly, but by the end of the 90 minutes I was getting exhausted and very introvert. But I had a few nice chats with regulars. The medium didn't talk to me, but did talk to my sister in law. She was vague with some people, but with one elderly woman she was extremely accurate. With her mother's name, a favourite piece of jewellery, her mum's favourite flowers, a wedding, her husband passing, her waking up in the night crying. This elderly lady seemed quite sad, and reserved. I saw at the end of the evening she was at the back of a group of people talking. The occasional smile and looking at the floor, but not joining in. In the end she walked off without saying a word.
A lot asked if I'd go again next week. Possibly? Just that after a long day at work - I was very drained. Spending another 90 mins in a busy area really did wear me out.
Mum noticed how I'm "opening up" which was nice to hear her say last night. I'm a lot more chatty at work the past few days as well. Things are improving all round.
After tonight's meet with Jack, and maybe some voice chat with Sallis after on PSU - I think I want to go full hermit mode this weekend. Some cycling, walking, a few smokes and gaming. I have been more social in the past 3 weeks than I have been for the whole year and I am exhausted.
Finally, here's my song of the week. A lovely Roots Dubstep genre song with one of the best quotes I think I've heard in a song for a long long time:
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