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Day to day stuck

By Aru · Jan 11, 2019 at 7:31 PM · ·
  1. I'll write a quick summary, After many years of trying to be an outgoing person i ended up sort of giving up and becoming a complete shut in, And have been most of my life now, I leave the house maybe once a month.
    In doing so i managed to avoid a lot of depression i was getting by trying to force something that was destroying me at the time and i've been sort of 'content' with life up until a year or so now, I'm 28 and i have absolutely zero going for me, I can't work, I can't meet anyone in person without help and conditions and i have basically no friends online because i'm just incredibly shy.

    I am a little frustrated with things currently because i really want some 'normal' things like love, possibly a family of my own one day, and friends just like a lot of other people but i am utterly convinced i'll never have those things and it really really hurts to think about it, I know people often say things will get better but having had that mindset for over 10 years and not managing to get anywhere at all i just really don't know what to do with myself, This whole part of me is really really confusing because i'm one of the nicest people in the world but i'm also one of the most scared. I've had so many wrong situations occur in the past when i tried to become a more outgoing person and make things better than overall it made everything just.. worst and i almost lost my life a few times due to intense bullying.

    I just really really am stuck, If i seek therapy it has the opposite effect on me because all i will think about is "Now i'm expected to go outside" and that thought will circle and circle until i have a meltdown, But at the same time i really need something.. positive now. I don't know i'm just very stuck.

Comments

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  1. Peter Morrison
    Your use of the word "stuck" seems appropriate here. You might be looking for some action or feeling the takes care of everything. It's way too much to handle. I know that I feel better when I know I have something enjoyable to look forward to in my near/distant future - some event or trip for positive reasons. Things like this can elevate my sense of happiness or satisfaction in my day-to-day existence. A good way to down-play the negative is to introduce a positive.

    There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, or shy. We all have to come to terms with the traits that are natural to us. Wishing they were different is a waste of time and emotional energy. Introverts learn more because they tend to listen better.

    I have bouts of anxiety and depression, all of which require some kind of response or action. I can't wipe these demons away, but I can take small steps to swat them like annoying flies. I find that diversion works best. If I recognize a cycle, I try to break up the cycle. It might not be a cure, but it can serve as an effective fix for the day, or just a few moments. Those few moments can give you come clarity.

    I feel bad for you having to suffer as you do. I know the feeling. Frustration is worse than depression, and anxiety is the worst of all. Don't be a hostage to any of them. It's a war.
      Aru and Monachopia like this.
  2. Monachopia
    I'm sorry your life has settled this way... I know how you feel, you sound a lot like me from this paragraph... There's 4 years difference between us, but, I've resigned to the same things, never having friends and not really being able to go outside... Therapy doesn't work either..
    What made you give up going outside? Is there a way you can make it a mission to go for a short walk a few times a week? Are there things you enjoy doing? Maybe there's some local groups you can join for them..? For example, I like art, so I thought to join some life drawing classes - it's not forcing me to be social unless I want to, but it gives the opportunity... that sort of thing? Maybe nothing comes to mind right away, but have a think. Do something everyday to develop an interest and maybe you'll find someone in that field who shares your passion.
    1. View previous replies...
    2. Aru
      Thank you i will continue to keep trying! I've been struggling to reply on the forum a little bit in posts but i'm determined to keep giving it a go, This is the year for motivation and change, I'll always be a gamer and mostly indoors but damn i would love some outings too every so often, My DREAM is to go to a comic con or an anime expo or something in that area one day :)
      Monachopia likes this.
    3. Monachopia
      My sister does the comic con circuit a lot, she's a comic book colourist and cosplayer, she's also incredibly shy and very possibly an Aspie. What she tells me is that those places are really nice and full of people like us. It might be a little overwhelming at first, but, it's a nice goal to have. I have every confidence you'll get there! What sort of games do you play?
    4. Aru
      I play a few mmos like Final Fantasy XIV occasionally(and non mmo Final fantasy games) and Mabinogi and a bunch of indie games when i get bored like Ori and the blind forest but usually always hopping between hundreds of games :) And yeah if i can find someone to go with i'll be all over going to one!
      Monachopia likes this.