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Day 2: My hobbies

Today I feel less nervous. I feel less nervous because i am not waiting on someone anymore. in a way it's freeing. but everyday is scary, in the sense that i dont know what will set me off into a depressive moment. (i accidentally posted this too early) Today I'm going to talk about my hobbies.

I feel i am a creative person. i like to work with my hands, but not like the sense of a mechanic, although i do respect that skill. it is very attractive to see someone know how to fix things. I am talking about things of artistic nature. I like to draw, paint. . . i like to sew, i like to crochet, i like to cook everything from as scratch as possible. i like to make my own emolients. i really like to analyze things. sometimes people think i look too into things, but in retrospect, i realize it is because of my autism.

this is a bonus i find with autism. i feel like i've learned how to do so many things beause i am always trying to deconstruct things so i can see them in all aspects. of course, in the beginning, people are not supportive, or they see me as being overambitious, but I know what they think about my hobbies doesnt matter. i must focus on myself and the skill involved wiht the hobby will grow.

I also like yoga. I have tried to keep exercising as a lifestyle, but doing yoga has really helped me committed. i started almost a year ago. i think one day i will post here some form of evidence of my progress once my year mark hits. I do ASHTANGA yoga, which is a type of strength yoga. I think this particular yoga is "autism friendly" because there is a set form you have to do, a set pattern, a set sequence with this type of yoga. i feel like i need that kind of structure for me to focus. when i have too much freedom, such as lifting weights but at home, it is harder for me to concentrate. i am glad i do yoga because i have had back problems in the past and this has helped me a lot.

i am trying to remain optimisitc, or at least realistic. I feel like even though i have many voices in my head that tell me otherwise, something about me is special. i want to belive that for real one day soon, instead of coming to that conclusion based on the facts of the matter.


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