Burnt out, stuck, and feeling hurt

First of all, don't put yourself down. You are living among abusive people who aren't about to change. They are taking advantage of you because you have a "condition." Been there, done that.

I know all too well what it is like to feel trapped, financially and emotionally. Now, I want to help you. First, sit down and take a deep breath. It might help if you had a blank piece of paper in front of you.

What I want you to do is to make two columns. One is "Obstacles" and the other "Solutions." You have a lot of can't's in your life. I have been there and done that too. I know all about it. What you have to do is develop a strategy.

One thing that is very much in your favor is that at 22 you are a legal adult. Your parents no longer have authority over you. Yes, I know that is easy for me to say from this distance because you are still living with them. What you need to do is to figure out how to get out. To do this, you will have to honestly assess your skills, what you know and what you need to know in order to live on your own.

Do you have a savings account? A checking account? Credit? You will need all of these things in order to survive. How good are you at managing money? Do you know how much an apartment costs, how much to plan for groceries and emergencies?

You say you don't drive. In that case, is there public transportation where you live? What is holding you back from driving? Are you unable to drive or just haven't learned? Maybe you might focus on that as a priority first step.

Normally, I am not a big fan of people going on public assistance but in your case it might help you put some needed distance between you and your parents. They are not treating you like the adult you are and as long as you are around them you will never gain the ability to stand on your own two feet. They have sold you a lie which you have bought into that you can't do anything. I am here to tell you that is wrong. But you have to have a plan. You have to have a strategy. You need to start taking back control of your life.

About the phone: by going to them you are validating their opinion that you are helpless and can't do anything. I don't know about where you live but here where I live you can get some fairly cheap Trakphones or Jitterbugs (that's what I use). No, they don't have all the bells and whistles. I have a Jitterbug which I call a "dumb phone" meaning it doesn't do anything but take phone calls. In fact that is how it is advertised, "it doesn't play games, it doesn't take pictures." It's marketed to senior citizens who need a basic emergency phone. I have a plan of 60 minutes a month which rolls over if I don't use it and it only costs me about $30. You could get something like that if it's available where you live and then your parents aren't involved. It might mean giving up something else, but trust me, it is worth it.

Another tool you have is right in front of you, which was not available when I was your age and that is the Internet. Google is my best friend and it can be yours too. You can use it to find resources. Maybe talk to someone at community mental health, tell them you need an advocate because you need to get out of an abusive situation. Try the YWCA. Here in my area we have something called the Ark for Runaways. And don't forget the counseling department at school. I know what you are thinking, she is saying go to counseling like everyone else is doing. But here is the difference, the counseling that other people are telling you to get is counseling for their purposes. Of course it is not going to work! What you need is a career counselor, an advocate, someone on your side--and they are out there.

But you got to have a plan. And I most strongly emphasize that you keep what I have told you to yourself and not talk to your parents about it or anyone connected to your parents or they will find some way to sabotage you. By the way, where I live, it's illegal for your counselors or medical providers to discuss any aspect of your counseling or treatment with anyone else unless you give specific written permission to do so. You have that right to privacy, stand up and claim it!

I know what it is like to feel trapped and hopeless and worthless. It may sound corny but stop putting yourself down. You do have abilities and you will overcome the people who are standing in the way. It is up to you to find a way out. I have faith in you. After all, you are only 22. Time right now is on your side. Start out one step at a time, don't try to climb the whole mountain at once.

First of all, living with people who stress you out does impact your decision making skills(just like being hungry makes you buy fattening foods at the store).

I would say find your calm place and try to find a solution
then tell your parents your solution.

It seems your parents want is a peace of mind and the best thing you can do for them is to compromise(i know even the thought of it make me want to run) but its better to interact in uncomfortable situations less than you have to.

I would say that education is probably the best time i had and i have spent them planning one step to the next.

Finding a education is like finding a good weapon in this world.

The best thing I ever did was move away from the city and state I grew up in and at the same time ended all of my acquaintance relationships. For the past 18 years I have managed several businesses and have had dozens of employees (yes, Aspies can be very good managers if they do it in a way that is compatible with their disposition). What I look for in an employee is integrity, knowledge and competence in the area required, a strong desire to do the job and effectiveness. I don't care if the person has a college degree or if they got it online. I have one employee, a young woman about 32 years-old, who is highly introverted and she loves scientific instrumentation. This is good because we sell scientific instrumentation. She is an applications specialist and does that well. I would not expect her to be a sales rep.

I was not effective or well paid in any job until I was in my 30s. There is allot of time. When I started there was no online schools nor Internet, and there are allot more resources and support for those of us with AS.