Bob's Perfect Sporks Commercial Outline:
Intro: Hindu-style music plays as a single, orange kitchen knife dances about in an empty, violet room. There are no other objects in the room.
A woman's voice is heard. "Life is suffering." The knife disintegrates.
A book with a violet cover sits alone in the room. The book is encrusted with jewels and strange symbols. Sanskrit, maybe?
Swirls appear in the book as the pages begin to turn on their own.
The title of the book is revealed: "Bob's Perfect Sporks."
Three men in business suits walk into the room. All three wear sporks strapped to their belts. All three have been identified as "Bob."
They sit down on empty air. When they speak, their faces wrinkle and morph in disturbing ways.
Bob 1: "Bob's perfect sporks! Because you're worth it!"
Bob 2: "Yes! Bob's perfect sporks!"
Bob 3: "Buy Bob's perfect sporks!"
Bob 1: "Because you deserve the best!"
Bob 2: "We take your money, and give you sporks!"
The three men laugh as an eerie, purple light slowly overtakes them. The book disappears inside a black hole.
The three men have now become two Bobs and a Rob. The two Bobs begin to argue. Rob stares blankly ahead.
The violet room begins to melt. The three men argue more as their bodies turn into molten metal. "Money! It's all about the money!"
The three men morph into a talking butt, an egg and a cup of water. The water is breathed out of the cup and evaporates into the purple mist.
A green creature that vaguely resembles a dragon slinks into the room. The dragon begins to morph and change.
The creature grows three heads, a single eye in the center of its forehead and a hairy mole on its chin.
"We're revolutionizing the spork industry!" The dragon explodes into a million piecies, which float into the air. Each piece of the dragon is a different color. These pieces begin to rotate around each other and change shape.
The cup of water falls from its table and rolls toward the edge of the room.
The egg begins to crack as tendrils begin growing out of it. The book is sucked into the sky. A single tendril from the egg grabs the rolling cup and pulls it back down to the table.
The water in the cup disappears into the egg, which seems to give it life. The egg grows bigger and bigger until it takes up almost half of the room.
The dragon's pieces morph into something that resembles an eye.
The talking butt walks in front of the eye, and faces the camera. "Bob's. Perfect. SPORKS." it intones, in a deep voice. The eye explodes into a million pieces, none of which resemble an eye anymore. Bob's sporks are seen flying out of the eye and floating through the room.
The purple mist begins to dissipate, revealing that the egg and the book have disappeared. The water has returned to its original place.
The three Bobs begin to morph into one giant, talking head with three faces. The middle face does all the talking. "Bob's Perfect Sporks." it says. "Only $9.99!" The giant talking head's eyes begin to bounce around, changing to various symbols: dollar signs, a % sign and a thermometer.
The giant talking head then begins to morph into an even bigger talking head. It has six eyes, three noses and two mouths.
The six eyes begin rolling into different symbols: a cross-section of a spork, a spoon, a fork and a knife, and Bob's face.
The two mouths yell gibberish at you, while the three noses emit a high-pitched scream.
The six eyes morph into an eye, a flower and Bob's face. The giant, morphing head begins to bounce around the screen.
It is as big as the room itself. "Bob's Perfect Sporks!" it screams in unison.
The room becomes even more blurry as the images on the wall speed up. "Buy our sporks!"
The commercial ends as the entire room disappears into pure white.
I nearly died laughing while watching it do this. I only edited about 2 lines here... the thing didnt exactly need much guidance.
If I had 3D animation skills, I'd totally make a video out of this. Maybe I'll try to learn... how hard can it be?
This concludes today's weird nonsense. You're welcome.
Intro: Hindu-style music plays as a single, orange kitchen knife dances about in an empty, violet room. There are no other objects in the room.
A woman's voice is heard. "Life is suffering." The knife disintegrates.
A book with a violet cover sits alone in the room. The book is encrusted with jewels and strange symbols. Sanskrit, maybe?
Swirls appear in the book as the pages begin to turn on their own.
The title of the book is revealed: "Bob's Perfect Sporks."
Three men in business suits walk into the room. All three wear sporks strapped to their belts. All three have been identified as "Bob."
They sit down on empty air. When they speak, their faces wrinkle and morph in disturbing ways.
Bob 1: "Bob's perfect sporks! Because you're worth it!"
Bob 2: "Yes! Bob's perfect sporks!"
Bob 3: "Buy Bob's perfect sporks!"
Bob 1: "Because you deserve the best!"
Bob 2: "We take your money, and give you sporks!"
The three men laugh as an eerie, purple light slowly overtakes them. The book disappears inside a black hole.
The three men have now become two Bobs and a Rob. The two Bobs begin to argue. Rob stares blankly ahead.
The violet room begins to melt. The three men argue more as their bodies turn into molten metal. "Money! It's all about the money!"
The three men morph into a talking butt, an egg and a cup of water. The water is breathed out of the cup and evaporates into the purple mist.
A green creature that vaguely resembles a dragon slinks into the room. The dragon begins to morph and change.
The creature grows three heads, a single eye in the center of its forehead and a hairy mole on its chin.
"We're revolutionizing the spork industry!" The dragon explodes into a million piecies, which float into the air. Each piece of the dragon is a different color. These pieces begin to rotate around each other and change shape.
The cup of water falls from its table and rolls toward the edge of the room.
The egg begins to crack as tendrils begin growing out of it. The book is sucked into the sky. A single tendril from the egg grabs the rolling cup and pulls it back down to the table.
The water in the cup disappears into the egg, which seems to give it life. The egg grows bigger and bigger until it takes up almost half of the room.
The dragon's pieces morph into something that resembles an eye.
The talking butt walks in front of the eye, and faces the camera. "Bob's. Perfect. SPORKS." it intones, in a deep voice. The eye explodes into a million pieces, none of which resemble an eye anymore. Bob's sporks are seen flying out of the eye and floating through the room.
The purple mist begins to dissipate, revealing that the egg and the book have disappeared. The water has returned to its original place.
The three Bobs begin to morph into one giant, talking head with three faces. The middle face does all the talking. "Bob's Perfect Sporks." it says. "Only $9.99!" The giant talking head's eyes begin to bounce around, changing to various symbols: dollar signs, a % sign and a thermometer.
The giant talking head then begins to morph into an even bigger talking head. It has six eyes, three noses and two mouths.
The six eyes begin rolling into different symbols: a cross-section of a spork, a spoon, a fork and a knife, and Bob's face.
The two mouths yell gibberish at you, while the three noses emit a high-pitched scream.
The six eyes morph into an eye, a flower and Bob's face. The giant, morphing head begins to bounce around the screen.
It is as big as the room itself. "Bob's Perfect Sporks!" it screams in unison.
The room becomes even more blurry as the images on the wall speed up. "Buy our sporks!"
The commercial ends as the entire room disappears into pure white.
I nearly died laughing while watching it do this. I only edited about 2 lines here... the thing didnt exactly need much guidance.
If I had 3D animation skills, I'd totally make a video out of this. Maybe I'll try to learn... how hard can it be?
This concludes today's weird nonsense. You're welcome.
