Hey all i haven't been around for a long while as i've been trying to sort my life out a bit, Unfortunately i keep going in circles with something good happening, then it falling through and i have to start over on things which hurts a lot, I recently had a date and everything and i thought it went okay but it seems the girl wasn't quite ready for a relationship so we had to part ways, I'm suffering a lot with it currently because i did really like this girl But i'm not the type of guy to push on something that probably won't change as much as i'd want it to.
I am proud of myself for at least trying though, This was the first proper try in a looong time and i'm proud of myself for having gone so far with all my insecurities and everything, It's at least a step forward in one way
The other downside to this is i've had to duck away from the situation as it hurts a lot currently and as we were in a big community together and i've unfortunately lost all of those friends now because i had to leave for my own mental health over it, So i've landed back at 0 friends and sort of have to.. go through this alone.
Overall this was the first i've even attempted to date properly in a long time, and i was fully committed to it, I starting looking at life taking a huge turn finally, The future looked bright, no more sitting alone in my room playing games everyday, There was so much hope finally settling in, Until it was all smashed when she decided that she wasn't ready, My hopes sort of died along with it, I know there are other people but it's really not often i feel something properly for someone. It's rare, So i got a little too into it and it crushed me more than it should have, Hope is a dangerous thing to lose when you already don't have anything you know?
Anyway sorry for the ranting, Let's hope things turn out better one day eh?
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