So, I'm thinking I am aspie. But I wonder if connecting, or relationships, can be a "thing" for an aspie girl. I am extroverted, too, since I have more energy when I've been around people.
Communicating was very hard for me throughout my childhood. I could speak, but often came across as rude, and got in trouble a lot. I learned to watch my mouth, but I don't think it was soley in the interest of avoiding spankings. I was very interested in how people communicate, and still am. The actors on tv, and even people in real life seemed so foreign to me. I never understood how they carry a conversation so lightly.
For me, I had to think about every response. I would think deeply about the questions my teachers gave the class, often missing my chance to respond. I knew the answer, but it was so hard to keep up.
So, I put my energy into understanding why people feel and act the way they do, why they say what they say, and when they say it. Watching tv felt like research to me. Talking to my mother felt like research. Every conversation I heard was analysed and pushed me towards my favorite interest: communication.
Now, I'll spend hours watching videos on the subject, taking extra care in classes focusing on this, and I've even read a few books on the subject. So, I know enough and have practiced enough to not "look" different from anyone else, but I think I've shot myself in the foot. Noone really believes me when I try to tell them that I am having a hard time mentally.
Communicating was very hard for me throughout my childhood. I could speak, but often came across as rude, and got in trouble a lot. I learned to watch my mouth, but I don't think it was soley in the interest of avoiding spankings. I was very interested in how people communicate, and still am. The actors on tv, and even people in real life seemed so foreign to me. I never understood how they carry a conversation so lightly.
For me, I had to think about every response. I would think deeply about the questions my teachers gave the class, often missing my chance to respond. I knew the answer, but it was so hard to keep up.
So, I put my energy into understanding why people feel and act the way they do, why they say what they say, and when they say it. Watching tv felt like research to me. Talking to my mother felt like research. Every conversation I heard was analysed and pushed me towards my favorite interest: communication.
Now, I'll spend hours watching videos on the subject, taking extra care in classes focusing on this, and I've even read a few books on the subject. So, I know enough and have practiced enough to not "look" different from anyone else, but I think I've shot myself in the foot. Noone really believes me when I try to tell them that I am having a hard time mentally.
