The other day I was having a conversation with one of the members of my church on how people see their lives when things are not going well. The example he gave was how a person might feel cursed by God if they had a disease. But of course we know that isn't true, he said.
I said, "I have Asperger's syndrome, and yes, I do feel like I have been cursed."
That took him aback for a second. He started talking about how he had diabetes, and he didn't feel cursed. I said, "that is not the same thing at all. Diabetes affects your body. Asperger's affects your mind. Asperger's makes it hard to relate to others." And I went on to say that I had never heard of anyone being bullied or harassed for having diabetes. I had never heard of any stigma attached to diabetes. Now I know diabetes is a serious disease. You don't have to tell me about diabetes. It's all over my family. Plus I know quite a few people with it. It's no fun. But--a person is not shunned for having diabetes. I said, "people with diabetes don't get malicious phone calls making fun of them."
I'm not saying anything that anyone on this forum doesn't know anything about. We've all been there and done that and all too many are still doing that.
Well, he said, I know about autism. I teach autistic kids. Oh, really? Then this is the reality that your kids live with every single day. They may not tell you about it and you may not see it, but this is their reality. I said that I was bullied all through school and not one adult ever stood up for me. Not even your parents? No, not even my parents. Well, I am so sorry, he said.
At that point the conversation was interrupted and we never resumed it. But I got to thinking afterwards. Here he is teaching autistic children, and yet he has no real interest, none of them do, really, in finding out how an autistic person really thinks. He knows about autistic children because he teaches them. Therefore he doesn't need to ask an autistic adult how he or she perceives the world. It's a complete and utter lack of curiosity.
Let's face it, very few "neurotypicals" really give a damn about how we tick. There might be a few surfing AC and other forums now and then, but how many really stick around? Pastor has an autistic son, but has he ever asked me about what it is like to be autistic? No. I did lend his wife one of Temple Grandin's books, but she only glanced over it.
The thing is Sunday he preached a really dynamite sermon on the difference between pity, condescension and compassion (I think that's what sparked this discussion). He had some really good points. But, it begins at home.
I said, "I have Asperger's syndrome, and yes, I do feel like I have been cursed."
That took him aback for a second. He started talking about how he had diabetes, and he didn't feel cursed. I said, "that is not the same thing at all. Diabetes affects your body. Asperger's affects your mind. Asperger's makes it hard to relate to others." And I went on to say that I had never heard of anyone being bullied or harassed for having diabetes. I had never heard of any stigma attached to diabetes. Now I know diabetes is a serious disease. You don't have to tell me about diabetes. It's all over my family. Plus I know quite a few people with it. It's no fun. But--a person is not shunned for having diabetes. I said, "people with diabetes don't get malicious phone calls making fun of them."
I'm not saying anything that anyone on this forum doesn't know anything about. We've all been there and done that and all too many are still doing that.
Well, he said, I know about autism. I teach autistic kids. Oh, really? Then this is the reality that your kids live with every single day. They may not tell you about it and you may not see it, but this is their reality. I said that I was bullied all through school and not one adult ever stood up for me. Not even your parents? No, not even my parents. Well, I am so sorry, he said.
At that point the conversation was interrupted and we never resumed it. But I got to thinking afterwards. Here he is teaching autistic children, and yet he has no real interest, none of them do, really, in finding out how an autistic person really thinks. He knows about autistic children because he teaches them. Therefore he doesn't need to ask an autistic adult how he or she perceives the world. It's a complete and utter lack of curiosity.
Let's face it, very few "neurotypicals" really give a damn about how we tick. There might be a few surfing AC and other forums now and then, but how many really stick around? Pastor has an autistic son, but has he ever asked me about what it is like to be autistic? No. I did lend his wife one of Temple Grandin's books, but she only glanced over it.
The thing is Sunday he preached a really dynamite sermon on the difference between pity, condescension and compassion (I think that's what sparked this discussion). He had some really good points. But, it begins at home.
