Finally a blog i can write with a happy face!
The past few days i've been trying to stop dragging myself down and just beam with positivity and it seems to be working so far, Things have been going really well, Even if it doesn't last due to depression being very random i'm trying to make the most of it, I do livestreaming on twitch occasionally and it's took me many many years to get to a point where i can openly talk on it to a point where people don't seem to notice my social problems as much, Real life i'm completely unable to socialise well at all but online doing streaming i'm able to voice chat to text when a game is involved so it's a little loophole in my disability i've found and i'm so happy, On twitch i had 2 people chatting the last few days and it's just made me ever so happy that they even came back, They probably won't stay forever because i do have a boring voice and can't conversation forever but i'm just really happy that they even stayed for a little bit, It's made my absolute week because streaming makes me incredibly happy as i've always loved gaming and such and found a way to socialise too! I've also finally managed to make a few friends from twitch too and they're genuinely lovely people, I could cry that i finally feel like i'm finally fitting in a little somewhere and just making a few friends, I've always wanted friends but i wanted to do it myself and because they like me and not out of pity for having no friends you know?
This all probably won't last because i'm fairly sure i'm bipolar or something as i get very happy then an absolute crash in mood later but i am just enjoying this moment as much as i can. I really want to get out and socialise and be a part of life more One thing i do really really wish i could do is go to a Distant Worlds concert though, Distant worlds is a Final Fantasy music concert where all the fans of final fantasy go together to see the music of the game series and i'm completely unable to leave the house most days but i always see it as a goal for the future so i am really determined!
Anyway thanks for reading everyone, Have a nice day
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