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Blogs

  1. On recognizing what one's feeling

    So I realised, today, why I was feeling "flat" yesterday. It's been pretty tough lately, a tough phase in a pretty tough life. In the last three years I've suffered three miscarriages, cut ties with my selfish, irresponsible and personality disordered mother, lost one colleague and one close friend to suicide, had three admissions to a group therapy trauma program in a psych hospital, found out my 20-year-old-son was sexually assaulted ar age 11, found out that, when my callous grandiose ex,...
  2. A Letter to my Asperger’s Syndrome

    i saw someone do this so i thought “why not?” dear Asperger’s Syndrome; you confuse me a lot still to this day. how we met is unusual since neither of my parents carry you. but to me, you’ve worked against and for me. you make me think and feel deeper, which i’m grateful for at times and others...not too much. but because of you i have a math deficiency, yet i would’ve had that either way because math sucks. but you help me understand literature better, you’ve given me a lot of insight to...
  3. A Letter to MY Autism

    While I want this to be a positive letter it can’t be at least completely. Dear Autism, Firstly I wanted to say thank you, I want to say thank you for the way in which I see the world if it weren’t for you being a part of me I wouldn’t take photos in the way that I do and take photos of the things that I do and I thank you for taking photos being a way that you require me to process the world and new places because if it weren’t for that I wouldn’t take photos or at least in the volume...
  4. Trauma triggers, autism, parenthood and recovering from narcissistic abuse

    So, this is a really loaded topic for me, as I spent a LOT of years being narcissistically abused and exploited, and because of my Autism and the abusive and neglectful childhood I'd had, it took me to point where I was seriously contemplating my own demise, if I didn't get out of that abuse cycle dynamic. I wasn't suicidal, I couldn't go down that path, because I had children, A LOT of children. I was dying, absolutely plagued with serious stress-related and lifestyle related health...
  5. Electronic Screen Syndrome

    I’m intrigued: [URL]https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-wealth/201207/electronic-screen-syndrome-unrecognized-disorder[/URL] It makes me want to read her book: [URL]https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1608682846/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ref_=nav_signin&linkCode=sl1&tag=wwwdrdunckley-20&linkId=18ebfcbeaa4f971bdb69a25041654115[/URL]
  6. To Know or Not to Know (or When to Know or Not Know)

    Do you think your child should know at a very young age if they have ASD? Should they need to seek their truth on their own? Will the world change in time to create a safer place for the teased, bullied, and take advantage of students and adults in the future (hopefully near)? I'm seeking all perspectives, please.
  7. Wave of disgust and distrust

    For the last couple of days I feel somewhat disgusted at some things I see happening around me. And consequently I feel distrust in people and I just want to crawl back in to myself again and forget the others exist. They and what they do is not my problem. But: The emptiness I am feeling is not the world's fault, it is my perception of it that is faulty. Because I am down I see all around me as negative. Looking into ourselves takes courage. Blaming others is just a form of escapism from...
  8. Autism & The Ability to Feel

    (From my official blog, Autistic Spirits) A lot of neurotypicals("normal people") think having autism means you don't have feelings. This is one of the most common stereotypes about autistic people and it's far from the truth. Someone on the spectrum does feel, but he/she expresses it in a different way than most people do. In this article, I'm going to clear things up about the relationship between autism and the ability to feel. Someone has to do it and because I'm autistic myself, I...
  9. Gah!

    I've not even gotten a referral yet and I trust my GP to find someone good, but I have had my hopes dented a little in chatting on Facebook with a women in my community who says she has been trying for 9 years to get an autism diagnosis and not succeeded. She says someone in the local hospital tried to diagnose her as bi-polar. This is known to be one of the misdiagnoses given to women on the spectrum and I am aware that I may encounter a doctor who wants to diagnose me as such. I've had...
  10. Keeping your word

    I am a person who likes to keep my word towards others. If I say to someone I will do something for them I do it. Well, today I broke my word for the first time in my life as long as I can remember. Yesterday someone asked me to do something and as most of the times I said yes. Well it was not good because I was super busy and tired and the stress made me do some mistakes. In the end I was feeling super down about everything. I was mostly angry with myself for not respecting myself, my...
  11. Food II: Dinner

    I eat the same dinner almost every evening. It is yoghurt with rolled oats and a banana. It looks somewhat like this: However, the yoghurt/oats ratio is different in my version. It's more yoghurt and less oats. And I cut one banana and put all the pieces in my bowl instead of just some of them (it seems to be less than one banana in this picture). I always eat it right after preparing it because I dislike it when the oats are soaked with the yoghurt liquid too much. From time to time I...
  12. Food I: Lunch

    I usually eat the lunch provided at work on weekdays. This is convenient and good for several reasons. Firstly, it helps me to keep a more varied diet than the one I would have if I prepared my own lunch every day. Secondly, I don't have to waste even more energy after work by cooking something. Though I could cook some more in advance, so it lasts for several days. I do this on weekends. I only cook once and eat some of it on Saturday and some of it on Sunday. As I eat more varied most of...
  13. still recovering... this may take a while...

    And... I had another meltdown yesterday. Sigh. I'm obviously still recovering from the trauma. At first, I couldn't understand why I was falling apart when everything was okay. For some reason, my brain wants to keep screaming everything is NOT okay and that I need to run away. It keeps picking at everything that is wrong, everything that is different about me. The final straw was the cat literally spraying me directly the other night. All day yesterday I was. It's hard to describe the...
  14. Some Thoughts and a First Step

    Maybe it isn't exactly the first step, but I went to my GP and asked for a referral to a psychiatrist and he said he was very glad I'd come in to ask. He had suggested it to me six months ago only I wasn't ready. I'm scared, of course. I'm so sure I am on the spectrum and afraid that I will be another of those females who gets a diagnosis of bi-polar or personality disorder instead. My GP told me I must accept whatever the diagnosis is and I told him sometimes a diagnosis is wrong and he...
  15. More about happiness

    Fact: I was afraid to be happy What??? How can this be? How can anyone sabotage their own happiness? Well I don't know the intricacies of the thing but I realized today I was doing it. I only saw my mistakes and bad qualities. But if I really want to be fair I have to see all: good and bad. And even when I am "bad" I still have the right to be happy. I am not saying to ignore the bad, no, correct it we must, but we still deserve to be happy! I am not a fan of self punishment to expiate sins...
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