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Blogs

  1. Day to day part 2

    I wrote a post before this explaining the struggle of me being stuck in my day to day and i think a lot of it sort of desperation for interaction these days, I speak to someone maybe 5 mins a day and the rest of the time i'm sat alone trying to think of ways to meet people online, I've hopped into some public discord servers and stuff with tags 'friendly and non toxic' however upon entering most of them had some really toxic people anyway so i ended up leaving, I find the same issue a lot on...
  2. Day to day stuck

    I'll write a quick summary, After many years of trying to be an outgoing person i ended up sort of giving up and becoming a complete shut in, And have been most of my life now, I leave the house maybe once a month. In doing so i managed to avoid a lot of depression i was getting by trying to force something that was destroying me at the time and i've been sort of 'content' with life up until a year or so now, I'm 28 and i have absolutely zero going for me, I can't work, I can't meet anyone...
  3. Today's Blog

    So I sent off my Niece's birthday gift to London, England yesterday, she's 8 next week, bought a small toy from Argos, worth a tenner, and because of the long box, they wouldn't send it Royal Mail so I had to use Parcel Force signed for service, which would be a pain in the ass for my Brother and my Sister in law in London who are both never in because they work full time and take the kids to school and places. The postage cost me £10.30, about 40p more than the item was worth., don't get...
  4. Any road will do....

    I have a mantra: "Any progress is better than no progress." Another one is: "If you don't try it, there's a 0 chance of success. If you do try it, there's a 50% chance of success." Bravery isn't doing things without fear. Bravery is stepping forward despite your fear. "Let go and let God" is another one I like, that I picked up from AA (no, I am not a recovering addict, but I still find much of their material useful) "Fake it until you make it" (another AA mantra) "Never give up; never...
  5. Day Ten 9/01/19 Arrowtown to Wanaka

    I can’t even remember anything……I need way more sleep than I am getting or maybe just to be less anxious which would use less of my energy, so I would need less sleep in the first place. Anyways now I remember. Our day started early with going into Queenstown to beat the traffic and the people so we could get a car park which worked well, so we arrived about 8.15 and then headed off to the Gondolas which were really cool well actually they weren’t they were rather scary but once we got to...
  6. "Hopepunk"

    If You Have a Rainforest Mind, You’ve Got Hopepunk This brought tears to my eyes. About two, maybe three years ago, there was a movie I went to see in the theater… Zootopia was the name… and the entire movie was about social justice. Somewhere in the middle of the film, it suddenly bopped me on the head that the main character was ME. Then it hit me that tons of movies and books main characters were really about people like ME. They’re portrayed as fictional characters, people see them and...
  7. Morning Routine

    I want to maximize my morning routine. I have about an hour between the time I wake & the time I start working. Some things I do automatically, like dress, feed cats, scoop litter box & drink coffee. I want to incorporate a breakfast & tighten my social media use. Today I made myself late looking at Facebook. Then lunch was early. I also had to clean my shared work space before I started. It adds up.
  8. Day Nine 8/01/19 Te Anau to Arrowtown

    I guess you’ll just have to wait and hear what happens because there’s a lot. Hopefully I remember it all coz well you’ll find out… Well the day started out with a trip to the supermarket via a camping store which I must say was very cool and stocked many things I hadn’t seen before. The supermarket was well a supermarket but there wasn’t really anyone there, so it was easy to survive. Then we walked back to the camper van via a coffee shop for mum and Olivia to get coffees and hot...
  9. Day Eight 7/01/2019 Te Anau

    First things first WE MADE IT HALF WAY!!!!!!! Who would have thought, I will be home this time next week and I am so so excited but also weary that I still have another week of this hell sort of a situation. Secondly yesterday was my sisters 13th birthday but don’t tell anyone that because things get expensive if we all have to pay adult prices ;) Not too much happened yesterday, we got up kinda late and Olivia opened her presents all of which she was very happy with and then we went to go...
  10. Supercool quotes n stuff.

    This is a collection of quotes that I emotionally resonated with, related to, or just found amusing for one reason or another. "Freebird, mantra of the moron." "It's all nonsense..." "Next you're gonna say: 'Knowing that won't help you any, punk.' Is that right?" "I don't have anymore tears to shed." "There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand...
  11. Day 7 6/01/19 Milford Sounds

    Today was wow like there was no other words to describe it and I actually had a good day for once well yes, I’m gonna say it was good but you’ll soon hear about the whole thing. And let me just say that today was reminded me that there is some beauties that a camera cant capture and that only ones eyes can truly see and appreciate but only if you are looking with the right eyes and well have taken almost 600 photos over the past 7 days but none of them truly show what I have seen and been...
  12. WORKING HARD to SURVIVE... HUZZAH!

    Now that I'm out of that shelter, I am scrambling like crazy to get my business back into full swing again, so I don't have to go back into ANOTHER shelter. I can't seem to be very productive in a herded community living environment. Right now, I am QUITE happy in a friendly, cheap hotel room run by some pleasant and hospitable Middle Eastern folks. I need to find a place to rent, though, because even though this is a cheap hotel... it's not less expensive than living in my apartment,...
  13. Ok, um... Sabrina... WHAT?

    Melissa Joan Hart told her 6-year-old son that only people who believe in Jesus are 'good' — and people are calling her out for 'casual anti-Semitism' We don't know if people who say they believe in Jesus are good people, either. Religion is not a get out of jail free card to the use of discernment. Fixed it. :blush:
  14. Potentail

    What is potential if not reached? A constant nagging thought telling you you could have been better, should be better. When the will is not there to put the effort into life, whatever it may encompass, opportunities pass by leaving you thinking ‘What could be if I did the right thing?’I sit here, typing, thinking, instead of action. Letting the ones I love down with my stagnation, unwillingness to change, unwilling to do the things that are right, when in the past doing this has let me...
  15. Day Six 5/01/2019 Invercargill to Te Anau

    This is a very honest blog post so I’m just going to forewarn everyone that self-harm and suicidal thoughts are topics discussed in this entry. Today was horrible (gosh this is getting worse and worse every day hopefully tomorrow goes okay coz like this is getting very bad very quick) today was horrible for my mental health like I am really really struggling, and I can’t fix it when I am stuck in this campervan. This morning I woke up and instantly felt that sinking feeling when I realized...
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