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By Raggamuffin · May 27, 2021 ·
  1. I got a 3% pay rise today. It made me happy as it was one of 2 things that were making me debate how long I'd stay here. The other factor is them getting a 4th person. It's been highlighted numerous times this year, and my manager is still in discussions with the director about it.

    One of the managers came in today. He's not in the office much any more due to COVID, but he was in today. He just had a 10 minute chat with me and seemed genuinely interested in how I've been doing. After he'd discussed what he had been up to, he asked me about how I've been. I noticed an inflection in his voice. In the past I've been open about my mental health issues with him.

    His question led into an in depth conversation - something that I've truly felt lacking with people at work ever since they let Graham go last year.

    Last night I read the last 3 blog entries to Kristy. I wanted to tell her about the smoke I had, but be open and honest about it. She told me that she'd had a feeling I might have smoked again as she noticed a lighter with my belongings on the kitchen table. I was a little surprised that after I'd read them to her, she had nothing really to say about it - neither positive or negative. Whereas, when we dated, she was very vocal when I slipped up, or at the very least, I could pick up on the air of disappointment.

    Speaking of my blog, I read the 541 x 0 = to my therapist in last night's session. She was very impressed by my writing and how well I articulate myself, and convey a lot of self-awareness. We ran quite a bit over our usual hour session. When I got home I decided to sent her next session's cost plus 50% of the usual hourly rate as a .thank you. for frequently running over our hour session.

    Woke up very early today. I stayed up too late last night, and was expecting around 6.5 hours sleep. In the end I woke up after 5 hours sleep, but I felt quite refreshed. After breakfast I decided to go into work early again (done so every day this week). I don't feel as bad about overtime now - knowing that they did actually reward my hard work. My manager even whispered to me as he passed me the letter and asked that I not tell other people at work, because only a few people were getting raises. But he commented that me and Carolyn had worked especially hard.

    I guess this is an incentive to push the bar even higher and potentially get a better Xmas bonus and another pay rise next year. For the first time in a very long time, I feel genuinely positive about working here. I've noticed the new daily tasks sheet I made has helped with mistakes too. I've only made a couple of very small errors this week.

    I'm glad I've started to feel a new sense of team spirit and a drive to do better at work.

    Cue an 80's training montage.


    About Author

    Ed, 34, UK

    I'm an underachiever with numerous talents. Exhausted by people and being stuck in the rat race. Unable to shake depression for nearly 2 decades.

    Approaching a year and a half sober. I've undertaken numerous lifestyle changes in recent years. I'd hoped they'd provide some solace from mental health issues. In reality, I know work is my main stressor. 16 years spent in jobs I've never considered careers, or worthy of my time.
    GadAbout and VictorR like this.


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