Asperger's & Autism Forum

Whoa - hey you- what is your resolution- the new year is almost here.

Do you want to excel or parasail or salsa or write slack code or join a cult, or make beer, find Waldo, catch a Pokemon?

Inspire us mere mortals with your aspirations of 2020 and your name in the sky!

@OrdinaryCitizen posted an excellent YouTube video the other day, a lecture by Sarah Hendrickx about women/girls on the spectrum. At one point she talks about autistic people with average to above average intelligence who also have low comprehension, meaning that we have trouble comprehending everyday occurrences and situations outside of what we're used to. This makes us look very stupid at times. She also discusses how many autistic people have no trouble speaking coherently about something we already know about, whether it's a favorite interest or really just any topic we've had time to thoroughly study beforehand, but when someone unexpectedly asks us a simple question about something we’re unfamiliar with or aren’t expecting, our minds boggle and go completely blank, we can’t sort our thoughts out, and we end up having no clue how to respond.

[edit: removed story about what happened to me at work because it’s superfluous]

What exactly causes this? Executive dysfunction?...

So, only little days remain to the end of the decade 2010-2020, so maybe it's time to evaluate how was this decade for us.

For me, soooo many things happened during the decade. My life absolutely changed many times during this period, the way how I see the world changed many times as well. I am absolutely a different person now. It was like a roller-coaster - I had the happiest moment of my entire life but also the worst moment of my life. So many accomplishments but also many mistakes were made.
In 2010 I would never believe if you told me about my future 10 years. I wonder what another decade brings and if it's gonna be so insane as the previous one.
Oh, and also this decade ends with the confirmation I have an Asperger's Syndrome which is an interesting "dot behind the sentence". Suddenly my life makes sense now and it makes me happy.

How about your decade? Tell me about everything that happened?

It's been two years since I was diagnosed as autistic and since I joined this forum.

I'd like to think I'm settling down into accepting it and working with it. I've gotten past the compulsively-tell-everyone-about-it phase and can now do it on a need-to-know basis only. I'm getting better at finding ways to work around my severe-lack-of-focus times and getting better at getting enough sleep so it happens less. I'm not embarrassed to stim anymore.

But I swear ... I still think that everyone who has the slightest little quirk must be on the spectrum, too.

I try to be aware of it and keep it to myself. It's now a running joke between me and my wife: "Did you hear what X said?" "Yeah, he's on the spectrum."

We laugh, but in the back of my mind, I'm concerned about the trend. I can't be right about everyone I think that about. So, how do I get rid of this thought pattern?

I'm guessing that, since autism is now a familiar context for me, it's easy to frame my observations of...

I realize that if you do, you might not want to admit it.

I live vicariously through other people, I guess you could say. Anyway, I have lived in a number of different places, and don't keep in touch with the people I knew back then. But I often look them up on the Internet to see what's going on in their lives.

Now, I never harass anybody, in fact I never even contact them. I only see what they have made visible to be seen, say on a public Facebook page. It's just that I'm curious how their lives are turning out. For an autistic person like me, it's less draining than actually being in touch with them. And I'm a lousy friend, so they aren't missing much.

Anybody else do this?

Extreme cognitive styles map onto genius that autism is. And psychotic spectrum disorders such as bipolar, schiztypy, schizophrenia are disproportionately disgnosed in highly creative individuals.
The genius-madness debate is asking whether creative individuals are at a greater risk for developing mental illness then their noncreative peers.
A professor at UCLA dubs the Mad Genius Paradox as extraordinary creative individuals are more likely to exhibit psychopathology.
High productivity is associated with both intelligence and with high creativity, whether a schizotupal or autistic nature.
The normal process of demyelinatiin that begins in mid-forties leads to a weakening of executive networks that are neuroprotective. Myelin function impacts processing speed, so a highly intelligent person has a propensity to mental illness and may experince symptoms in this age range.Nash and Newton were both autistic and schizophrenic, proving that true genius represents an overdevopment of...

Christmas is right around the corner and I have always had trouble with gifts when my wife gets them for me. I don't really deal well with surprises to begin with, presents make me uncomfortable because I don't know how to react to them, and I generally don't get excited about things to begin with.

So, usually when I open gifts from her, I'm either very neutral ... or if I do react, its usually because I'm confused by the present or don't know why she got it for me which isn't a good reaction. One time she got me a punching bag but we lived in a one bedroom apartment ... I saw it and all I could think is "I have no place to put this" ... I don't remember if I said that out loud, but I do know that however I was acting it really hurt her feelings and I didn't mean too.

Every year I worry she's going to have spent a lot of time or money coming up with a gift for me ... and my reaction is going to be, at best, less than thrilled ... or its going to be a situation where she didn't...

So I can only sleep in one of two positions. I sleep on my stomach with one leg sticking out at an angle. I hold a pillow under my arm on the side that the leg is sticking out. It doesn't have to be a particular pillow, but I have one I have beaten into shape over the years that I prefer. The two positions differ by which leg I favor.

I can't sleep in other positions. On my back or on my side, forget it. I can't sleep on planes or buses. The only time I can remember sleeping in a different position was because I was exhausted. But if I am merely tired, I need to get into the right position.

If I do that, I am usually asleep in a few minutes.

Is this something folks here can relate to?

I'm not looking for advice. I'm looking for people to relate to.

I met this man who seemed lovely. He asked me for my number and wanted to know all about me. He would text me a lot and we'd have great, weird conversations about things. We would meet up with friends and go out places.

He seemed to really like me. Other people thought there was something there.

But looking back. There wasn't. He didn't want to spend time with me at times. I'm not pushy or clingy, but I felt like he can't have been in love with me because he didn't long to spend time with me. Not like how my other friend is with his girlfriend. He just wants to be with her all the time. This guy didn't seem to want to be completely in my life.

However, this man that I grew to love is an aspie... so I cut him some slack. I figured he needed his space. I need space myself at times. So if he said "no" to spending time with me, i didnt take it to heart. Because we would spend time together at a later date. It's not...

In mulling over why some people complain a lot, yet don't act on very appropriate advice, I am reminded of a model of behavior change I heard about in graduate school. Called the "Stages of Change Model," it defines readiness to implement change. Originally applied to smoking cessation, and later to alcohol abstinence, it might also apply to people with autism who view themselves as stuck and not able to do anything about it.

The six stages of change in this model are the following:

Precontemplation ("not ready") – "People are not intending to take action in the foreseeable future, and can be unaware that their behaviour is problematic"
Contemplation ("getting ready") – "People are beginning to recognize that their behaviour is problematic, and start to look at the pros and cons of their continued actions"
Preparation ("ready") – "People are intending to take action in the immediate future, and may begin taking small steps toward behaviour change"
Action – "People have made...