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Asperger's & Autism Forum
I have been at my job for a long time and my only boss recently retired. I have a new boss and things have not gone well. I have a problem with repeating myself since I am not sure people understand what I am saying.
I rub my hands a lot when under stress and have to be very careful to not let my coworkers catch me doing it. Recently I over heard a coworker talking about me and mentioned me being a spaz as she saw me rubbing my hands one day.
My new boss has mentioned that I need to be able to manage priorities on things my old boss use to assign for me. I don’t do well with all the new things he wants me to do as I can’t keep up as once I start on something I have a hard time stopping to work on something else.
Im pretty sure I’m now failing at what I’m doing and will lose my job since I am not on an improvement plan. My boss has recently told me I don’t need to repeat myself so much and that my new coworkers find it hard to work with me since I don’t...
So I just got my assessment results. The doc said I have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, noticeable sensory processing difficulties, and that my need for control in situations via information gathering and "needing to know" what social situations mean is rooted in a trauma that happened in my past. She also said that some people just have "quirks" and that she couldn't account for those in my early childhood, but it's definitely not autism.
I used metaphor, for example, and figures of speech, which autistic people apparently cannot do, and that I should really look into Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to make peace with my apparent control demons. She also cited a deep loneliness, which I find puzzling (though I know many autists are), and that I present in many autistic ways, but that I'm just not autistic.
I will say that I do indeed have a trauma, more than one, and that I do indeed gather information in order to understand. The control thing seems not quite...
I recently posted about this in another thread but I think my original question got lost in translation and I feel at least one person maybe tried to pick a fight with me about it. When special interests are your only reason for living
Everyone on another autism forum sure wanted to...but that place is a cesspool anyway. But anyway, if you somehow knew you could never access or peruse your special interests, would you continue to see a point in living? Special interests are my main autistic trait and if I couldn't peruse them or have access to them I would probably kill myself.
When my parents made me earn my computer time. Half an hour of computer time for every hour of school without a meltdown, I got very depressed. I was making my own video games and computer programs but never had the time I needed to complete anything properly. I was homeschooled but had a math disability and my mother's solution for it was to make me do extra math. Plus I was just overworked in...
This is something I’ve had to deal with since I was 17 (I am 32 now) and my depression was in its embryonic stage. I go through a year and I am still nowhere close to finding love despite desiring it so much. Even with COVID going on, I still tried to reach out socially through dating sites and the places that I go to in hopes of meeting like-minded people since people still socialize even in this pandemic but I don’t achieve any head way no matter how hard I try at being social. It’s like finding a relationship comes so easy to others while it’s a struggle just to even look into the doorway so to say. I get glimpses of what looks like hope but it will become like a vapor and disappear when I get close to it.
I was tempted to go down to the sports bar a while ago because it feels like the only way to meet a woman is to go to where alcohol and smoking is going on even though I don’t do either. I suppose I could force myself to like alcohol and maybe a woman would show interest in...
So...last Saturday there was a naughty little gathering of members at my tennis club where I teach... maybe 20 members all brought their own alcohol and were having an impromptu party ... I should add that everyone was staying quite separated ... they all had their individual little "island" on the grass, and it was outside ... I was walking off my court, pretty tired as usual from teaching and thought, "I'm going to say hi and join in for a bit. What the heck. I bet if I relax, I can have fun ."
So I saw my someone I knew well, and joined him in a conversation... I think he may be a little atypical too... the conversation went right to fabrication process differences between Intel and AMD microprocessors ... but the volume of the conversations around me got louder quickly. Within 10 mins I couldn't discern half of what he was saying ... almost nothing at times. I suddenly had this deep regret for getting myself into that situation and now I was playing the "random reactions"...
Does anyone else have trouble describing feelings verbally? I've heard of alexithymia but it's often described as crying for no apparent reason. I have a flat affect, and physical expression seems stuck. I feel deeply inside, but it's usually an image, like a tidal wave, and I can't seem to communicate it until I write it out. And even then, I describe it as a tidal wave, not as "feeling overwhelmed".
Then, when I share the image to someone else, they say something like, "It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed," so I try to adapt my language. But it doesn't come out like this naturally.
Any other experiences like this?
I know and have heard so many times that we are all different, but I also know that we aspies are prone to digestive issues and I am no different ( what a surprise lol).
Anyway, it is highly likely that having taken 20mg of omeprazol for years, that it is causing my kidneys to not be very well and a study that came out THIS YEAR is saying that there is evidence that prolonged usage of this drug and other similar drugs, causes kidney failure. Happily, not at that point yet, but my potassium levels are just on the edge of being slighly over, which means that my kidneys are not doing there job properly.
On this note, anyone found success for natural medicine? I suffer heartburn severely at night.
So I haven't been contributing on the Forum as much lately. I haven't felt like writing even though so many great people are here. Finals week has been stressful (and so have a lot of changes with moving) and so I know that can diminish concentrating--
But my concentration has packed up & escaped. Any idea how one might improve concentration? I have been almost feeling ADHD-level symptoms but don't want to try for any sort of diagnosis. I know I get very depressed and that I may have ADHD traits, and I also know that that could either be those disorders or it could be autism stuff.
Is this cyclical, or amI gradually just losing my mind?
There's a marriage thread, so I thought that it would be interesting to get single people's perspectives for the married/coupled up folks who have never been single middle-aged people.
I'll start. I don't just rely on one person. I have a range of people. Mostly if I have a problem I tell my sister, if it involves heavy lifting she sends her husband to sort it out. If he's not available I pay a workman to do it.
Mostly, I can sort things out on my own. If my car is at the garage and it's too far to walk home I can phone a friend or get the bus.
I only need to shop for myself. I can buy whatever food I want to. I can make whatever I want for dinner.
I tend to go to concerts or shows by myself. I have weird taste. I don't even think a partner would want to go with me to see obscure bands they've never heard of. I do have a gigging friend who will go to most things, but even she has a line. I wasn't the only single woman who went to see Lloyd Cole alone. I met one at the bus stop...
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