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Asperger's & Autism Forum
In a past relationship I was accused of being lazy. I think about that a lot because, well, it annoyed the hell out of me.
At the time, I had 3 jobs and never watched TV because I was busy reading/researching for those jobs. I rarely went to bed before 2am for the same reasons.
However, I can see where the other person was coming from. I could be found napping on the Sofa in the middle of the afternoon, because I'd only had 3 hours sleep the night before. And I could be so wrapped up in what I was reading that I might not have noticed the bins were overflowing.
Can anyone relate to this? Do you feel Aspergers has made you lazy, or the opposite?
Maybe it's not laziness as much as selfishness?
Or perhaps I'm just a jerk!
This is something I am completely clueless about. Not only is it difficult to recognise when flirting is happening, but what constitutes flirting in the first place? What do people do when they flirt? How does one classify a social action as "flirting"? Is it flirtacious to pet a man's hair if one is a female? How does one know if others are misinterperiting one's own actions as flirtacious, and how does one know if oneself is indeed flirting? Any help, please?
what are the names of these sites? Online Dating sites geared towards those with Asperger Syndrome, Autism, etc.? The only Online Dating sites i've really tried for the past 4 years, because that is when I started using Online Dating, were Plentyoffish and OkCupid, but you don't have to pay in order to use those sites, so the Online Dating sites i've used have been very limited since the overwhelming vast majority of online dating sites they charge you for them, is it the same for those Aspie/Autism Online Dating sites?
Has anyone else observed a stigma associated with being a self-diagnosed Aspie? Such as people saying things like:
"You're just looking for attention."
"You're just making excuses."
"You don't really have Aspergers."
"You're just hopping on the bandwagon."
"If you haven't talked to a psychologist, it's not real."
"You want people to think you're a tortured genius. You're really just annoying and socially awkward."
I don't tell people that I'm an Aspie for this reason. I see people posting comments like these on boards and articles online and I'm afraid of receiving this reaction should I ever "come out". There's a genuine difference between being a run-of-the-mill hypochondriac and actually having the disorder.
Many Autistic people live the vast majority of their life in a zoned-out state where they are minimally accessible to other humans including their close relatives. Despite the obvious inconveniences & stress this causes their family members, think of the concentration it takes: enough to challenge even the most evolved meditating Zen master. Many still react to outside stimuli & are very sensitive to changes in textiles, temperature & touch etc. They also can express extreme displeasure if a room is rearranged or if objects they've lined up get moved.
One of my Aspie skills is the ability to completely zone out. Sometimes I get a few spacey days (like yesterday & today) where I'm sort of on auto-pilot doing what I have to do but not being truly present. Zoning out is even more extreme: it is the ability to completely shut out the world & go into a trance- like state. Does anyone else out there do this? Please tell me about your experiences with this skill.
I do and until recently I thought everybody did. If I am adding two numbers in my head I see the numbers. If I am thinking about a concept like justice I see an image of a stern looking king from ancient Greece, godlike with a beard and sitting on a throne. That may seem highly imaginative but actually I am just recalling an image of justice I once saw in a church. (Remember aspies are not imaginative and creative.)
Anyway the idea of thinking in words sounds boring and weird to me. Now I...
I would like to ask other members what it is like to be in a romantic relationship with another aspie since I have never had luck in establishing romance with men without ASDs and will not consider them again for romance. Recently several of my work colleagues have suggested that I try establishing romance with another aspie. I did take their advice but I knew that coming across a man another aspie is rare. :|
I have limited employment, job experience, but lately for the past 6 or 7 months i've started to become more assertive, aggressive in my Job Search, my most recent Job was at Target but unfortuneately it was only a Seasonal Job, so my Employment there was temporary. I got released on December 17th of last year, so 2 months ago, since then, i've been looking for a new job and I've had 2 Interviews so far this year, my most recent one was today at OSH, yes right now i'm only focused on getting an Entry-Level Job, Retail, Customer-Service, etc. I had an Interview at Home Depot last month but I did not get it. Anyway, it's making me feel somewhat better, because before I started working at Target, before I got hired there, not only was I unable to get hired anywhere I was unable to get an Interview in the first place, so the fact that i'm getting Job Interviews is making me feel a little better because it shows that employers are giving me at least Half of a Chance, yes I will also admit...
I tried to explain this feeling to my very normal boyfriend last night. He didn't get it.
Do you tend to feel like you are outside of the human species? As if you do not quite understand how they communicate, how they chitter-chatter and laugh constantly and have no hesitancy about going out and doing menial things?
It's kind of a feeling like everyone is in a bubble and you're on the outside of it, looking in at them, observing, not quite able to fit into humanity.
I've felt like this for as long as I can remember.
It's rather isolating.
Is this an Aspergers/Autistic type of thing? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
I have told people before that I have Aspergers but I haven't really explained what it is. Yesterday I was talking to a few women and was wondering should I tell them that I have Aspergers. What if they ask what it is. Will I go "by the book" or try to describe my personal experience... And that would take hours probably I do believe most of people would want to know what it is exactly and how Aspergers makes you different from others but it seems hard to describe it in a few words without being dull, vague and impersonal.
How do you do it if you have to?
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