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Asperger's & Autism Forum
This topic been on my mind for a while, does having intelligence make it difficult connecting with people? To a degree, I think it can be depending on the person personality.
Many people don't get me as I normally can find a better ways to do things.
Some of these people like taking the easy way out. However, I'm not that type of person which can result into more conflicts connecting with people.
Depending on the person intelligence could lead them to great opportunities and potentially make a great income. But still, while the person can make great contribution to society, they can't really relate to society to a social level. Like myself. All employers I worked for know I do a dam great job developing software. But when it comes to clients social events, I just can't connect to anyone at all. During break and lunch time for last year event, I did everything I can to hide so I don't need to speak to anyone.
For new or existing people I meet, I could have an idea that can...
How long does it take to get used to wearing glasses? I just picked up my first pair of prescription glasses and being age 45 I'm starting with progressive lenses. Will I ever get used to these things? The distortion from moving side to side is suppose to go away as you adjust but the amount of detail is a bit overwhelming. I can see every little everything. And then there is the thing of having them on my head all day. Just constantly sitting on my nose.
I don't know if my sensory issues are going to make this impossible or not. Anyone have any problems? The only people I know to ask have no sensory issues.
Does anyone else find that the world is patronizing towards them(well meaning or otherwise). For example "You do really well for a person like you" and my new pet hate the pecks chart at collage which includes a section for the whether.I mean I know we are pathways course but we are still capable f looking out the window.
How often do you get accused of overreacting?
I personally get accused of overreacting almost on daily basis by my husband!
I definitely don't think I overreact and arguably sometimes I can see why he would think that, but most of the time I don't.
And when I try to explain why I'm reacting the way I did, my inability to explain myself or express my feelings, makes me sound petty and stupid!! I'm truly NOT!
Anybody else experience this?
Bolting, or the urge to bolt, seems to be pretty common for Auties in general. I'm not sure of the "official" definition, but I mean the urge to get away from a social situation or public place as fast as possible, to go somewhere safer (usually quieter, calmer, more familiar, more alone).
I experience this most often when I'm socialising in a group (which I hate). There are various triggers, e.g.:
I keep trying to say something, but nobody hears me, or (worse) they do hear me but completely ignore me
I stutter or say something that gives away the fact that I'm not "one of them", and everyone looks at me
somebody says something which seems to be very obviously wrong and/or evil, but the rest of the group either agrees with it or says nothing
the group stops communicating in any real sense, and starts the dreaded "banter" - this happens more often with men, but some women do it too. This seems to consist of sarcastic comments tossed back and forth in a kind of competition - as...
I guess this is more of a vent, but I'm getting exhausted putting my emotional energy and attachment into people. I try really hard to be a good friend, although I know I can't always express myself well. I just feel like there's always a point in my friendships where my friends fade out, start avoiding me, act like I won't notice, hang out without me, etc. I don't feel like there's anything I can do, because I don't want people to only be my friend out of pity. Has anyone managed to maintain friends or will I just always be annoying and not fun to be around? I thought after high school I'd stop feeling like this.
Is anyone else really forgetful when it comes to names? I mean, I've never been any good with names. I usually have a hard time remembering people's names unless they're someone I see on a daily basis. And even then, I still tend to call people by the wrong name. Or I just flat out forget the person's name all together, which makes for an awkward dance of me trying to avoid asking them, "I'm sorry, but what's your name again?"
I'm not sure if this could be spectrum related or if I just have a memory lapse when it comes to people's names, but this isn't getting any better. It's gotten to the point where I'll meet or be introduced to someone at work and as soon as they say their name, amid the handshaking or questions of what I do or where I'm from, I immediately forget the person's name that was just mentioned a few seconds ago. And no matter how hard I try to remember, I just draw a blank.
I've tried doing the name association thing where you associate a person's name to...
I was wondering if any of you felt the need to explain processes in certain situations. I do, and it typically gets a response from my NT coworkers or boyfriend that is light years away from my intention.
Here are two instances:
- I've tried explaining that I may have difficulties with certain tasks, or that I processed information differently and needed a few particular steps taken (such as being given ample time to write down instructions, or requesting to be exempt from acting as the note-taker in meetings because I can't handle several people talking at the same time, and my coworkers just loooooove to chat during meetings). I've also tried to explain meltdowns to my boyfriend when we moved in together after more than a decade of occasionally seeing each other, naively thinking that it could help avoid situations that cause the meltdowns in the first place.
In all of these cases, the response I got was that I "should not hide behind the condition and let it define me" --...
During my counselling session today I mentioned that when I ask an NT something their response appears to me to be in one of two ways:
1. They respond to what I have asked directly, or they attempt to understand what I have asked
2. They believe I am asking the wrong question or am seeing things the wrong way. They believe that I need to change the way I think before they will answer my question.
My counsellor and I both agree the second one of these responses is a result of people being ignorant about Asperger Syndrome, and a result of people being unaware that some people process things differently.
Just thinking about the second one of these responses makes me overcome with sadness.
I wondered if others here also find NTs respond like this?
A few seconds ago, my niece and I got to fighting. She was in my room and I didn't like it. My mother/her grandmother recently set up a bed in HER own room. I asked her over and over why she chose mine instead of hers. "Because I can."
One mean joke and yelling later, I threaten to beat her. The niece insists she could beat me in a fight. Keep in mind: She's eight years old. No, she's not physically superior to me. It's because it's been drilled in my head NOT to hit other people. ESPECIALLY not little kids.
Imagine if my mom and my brother weren't around. Imagine if I didn't have a strict moral code. I would beat the everloving snot out of her without a second thought. I'm FAR from weak. Lazy, yes. But not weak. I punched TWO girls is second grade. I broke a window WITH my hand without a single cut.
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