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Asperger's & Autism Forum
Hello, this is my first post here. Nice to meet you all here!
So, I dated this guy for 2 years. At the beginning, I felt something was a little different about him, but I didn't care, because he was so hot, smart and charming. In fact, he is totally a genius type. Long story short, he turned out to be a super independent man and almost workaholic. He was always too busy to see me and we saw each other only once a month and had to skip all the fun events, etc, too, but insisted that he misses me very much. Yes he IS a busy man, but it got to the point where I started doubting his reasoning.
I am not going to list everything that made me think he might be on the spectrum, but I did so much searches, even talked with a professional in the field, and I am pretty sure he is. He had signs of both Aspergers and ADHD. He didn't seem to know, or maybe he did know because once he told me he feels he was different from others, but never told me he was on the spectrum. He actually took the...
And how did you feel about it? My daughter is 8 and we have not told her yet. She also has ADHD and OCD, we have told her about those, but we don't know what to say about Asperger's. We are not sure we can explain it to her yet.
While researching various interests on the internet I discover things that interest me a great deal, I become quite excited by these new revelations, they seem to add small pieces to a gigantic puzzle that I have been putting together in understanding the world and life.
One of the reasons I draw for example, is that it reminds me of childhood and how happy I was doing it back then. When I pick up a paintbrush, when I discover something I didn't know, when I go to a new place, when I see an animal I become enthused, excited, even joyous.
Many of the members here seem to have an occupation or interest or hobby that reminds them of childhood, that brings them happiness. What are the things that you do, or want to do that cause you to be happy or excited?
If you're able to carry on conversations with people, how do you do it? Is it a lot of hard work, or does it come easily for you?
I've studied people so much over the years...I have algorithms...rules...patterns...that I can follow to emulate functional conversation. It's a lot of work, kind of like what doing algebra would be for most people. But it passes well enough. I have to continually work at improving my algorithms, because I tend to push one or two aspects too hard (like asking too many questions), so then it doesn't feel natural to other people. Plus, I learned some very unhealthy relational patterns from my family, so I'm having to reprogram all of those algorithms, too.
This is all exhausting. Plus, I don't really feel connected to people through these kinds of conversations, and yet, it's the best way to keep from tiring people out from interacting with me.
Lately, I've been experimenting a little with a different approach. Instead of aiming for "connection," I'm...
I hope you are not offended by the way I wrote the title of this forum thread. I am not trying to be close-minded, but...Is there people with Asperger's Syndrome that believes in God, Angels, Fairies, Magick (as in the Wicca belief system)? I mean, when one thinks of Asperger's Syndrome, one almost always imagines a brainiac that is passionated by things like maths and sciences and has a very litteral and logical mind. Therefore, it seems pointless to him to believe in ''non-sense'' such as God and spiritual creatures.
But, I was wondering, is there anyone here who actually believes in fairies, Wicca, God, angels and the like, like me? Or am I alone?
For the past year there has been no sex life as such and for 8 months there was nothing at all.
My aspie partner admitted to suffering with erection issues which he'd been trying to fix himself in all the wrong ways (although they did lead in the end to his diagnosis due to his behavior).
We used to have a really active sex life and both want this back but not I feel a little like a sexual predator cos I do find him so attractive.
My question is did anyone else experience anything like this and did things get back to how they were?
As one of my most dreaded "holidays" approaches, my nerves are getting closer to their breaking point. I won't ever understand why Halloween is a holiday since it not celebrated in its original way, remembering the dead who we loved. It's become a day of evil. I have experienced plenty of horror to last an entire lifetime. I understand kids liking to dress up and play make belief and bopping for apples or whatever it is they're doing these days. I understand enjoying a little candy....don't we all? But I just don't understand why it has to be about haunted houses and scaring people. IMO, being scared is not fun! I don't like it and never will. And the trick or treating, nowadays, you better know who's door your knocking on.
What do you guys do on Halloween? I have a solid black cat who is NEVER allowed outside that day and I won't even go outside after 7pm!
I really don't like small talk. I find it hard to understand exactly what they want in an answer. Personally, I find that it seems that the response they want is an insincere one. It is kind of like asking someone if they like your cooking and they say, "yes" but really they can't stand it. Maybe there is a reason for this. Maybe it helps to say something less truthful so the other person doesn't feel damaged by the whole truth. The question is how do strike a balance? I really don't like being fake because for of my life, I have lived a lie. I am like a chameleon. I really don't like standing out but it seems no matter what I will, so I must embrace it. How do you give a little during small talk, without losing your identity in the process?
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